What will the kids think?-Adoption Saga Part IV

Thank you so much for praying for Home of Hope and Edith's stay here.  We had a wonderful fundraiser and a beautiful time with Edith!  We also have a website up! thanks to the hard work of the board and Clint Nelson.  Thank you for your prayers, for giving, for volunteering and loving us well through this!

   

Part IV in our story. Part I Here   Part II Here   Part III Here

As I said before, the kids were in the room when Todd and I had started talking about adopting. We were all in various parts of the kitchen eating or making lunch. As we talked about it, Silas was excited about the possibility of getting a brother. Lucie took it nonchalantly and positively. She seemed happy about it and thought it would be fun but wasn't as serious or interested as Maggie and Silas about it. Iva seemed to feel the same, not fully understanding it I think.

Maggie however is just my girl. Sometimes her responses to life are so much like my emotional responses it is just amazing. At first she really struggled with the idea. (She's given me permission to share this.) She told us she likes our family as it is and it would feel strange having someone who isn't from our family in it. It would be weird and hard. A few tears were shed while and we asked her questions and prayed with her. Her friend Emma from co-op came over and that stopped the tears for a while but they came back afterwards.

After her friend left, Todd and I sat down with her to try to understand her thoughts. Todd kept asking her questions and probing deeper to understand what was going on in her heart. He is so good at doing this and loving her well. Eventually we got to the "aha moment" and the root of the issue. Her real struggle was that if we adopted someone who came into our family, she wouldn't have the freedom to be herself around them. She wouldn't know them and they wouldn't know her so she would feel like she would have to behave differently. She expressed that sometimes when she is around others, she doesn't always feel like she can be herself, but at home we know her, accept her and love her no matter what. Todd and I know her. Silas, Lucie and Iva know her and her issues and mistakes and love her anyway. She loved the familiarity and dynamics of our home and in her mind, this would change everything.

I had an idea about how she felt about knowing and being known for who you are and being loved. I remember talking to my mom in my early twenties about a part of me that didn't want to get married because I liked being at our home with our family. I knew who I was there and being with a husband would be weird. He would be different. It wouldn't be as comfortable as it was now. Mom assured me that I would be comfortable with my husband (and I am) but I remember those feelings.

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We prayed with Maggie and I told her that I had fears too. I told her also about how I had felt when we first found out about Vivien. I thought it was going to be difficult and sad and too much to handle. I was afraid of the change. But then we talked about the truth that even though there was change when Viv came into our life, God was trustworthy and He brought joy and beauty in who she was. And not just in her, but into our lives as a whole. We talked about how GOOD He is and how he changed my emotions and how He could change hers. We asked to pray about being willing to ask God to change her heart and her emotions. She said that she would but she didn't feel like she wanted to change.

She had calmed down a little bit and I brought her in to read to her the excerpt from my journal in May 2013. I told her the back story and began to read it to her. When, I read, "The miracle would be You speaking to Todd and him speaking to me about it." I stopped and looked at her and said, "what happened today?" it was like a light bulb went on in her head. She had been standing right there when Todd spoke those words to me. Her expression began to change. I read, "Maybe two or three years from now." and, her eyes widened again, incredulously. She started smiling. Then I brought her to the page of John Piper's sermon that Todd read in the morning and showed it to her. She began to smile. She said could get excited for Silas to be able to have a brother. She began to chatter more, and ask questions and I could see that she was actually getting excited about the idea.

As we talked more about it t was obvious that her heart was opening and even excited about the idea. I asked her if she had prayed that her heart would change and she said yes. She told us that she felt like she was starting to be happy about the idea.

We went upstairs to get ready for bed. As we were talking with Todd about her change of heart, he told her that just about the time that God was working on her heart and we were having that conversation, he had been upstairs praying for her. It was a huge building of our faith to watch Him change her heart right before our eyes. It also a faith builder for her, to allow God to change her heart. She has truly been excited about the idea ever since.

Then when it came to Silas's response, we were rather blown away. A couple days after we'd talked about the idea Silas and I had a date. Todd and I have been trying to spend one on one time with each of our kids once a month and this was my time to be with Silas. As we were chatting about life, he told me that he had been praying two things. He had been praying 1. That we would "adopt a brother" for him, and 2. that it wouldn't be "too much for us."

When I questioned further, he told me that he had been praying for this for a long time. He said that recently he had stopped praying because he felt like it was never going to happen. What a faith builder for our son! It was an encouragement to continue to pray. If he had asked us before we would have told him "it's not going to happen" and yet God hears the prayers of a child and is already at work.

It completely melted my heart to hear that he had also been praying that it would not be "too much for us." He knows we work hard and the stresses (and joys) that come with lots of children and a special needs child, and he cared enough to pray for this as well. I love that boy so much!

At the time Silas had a lot of questions. We didn't know didn't what our boy would be like or what kind of special needs he would have. We just knew that we wanted a boy that we could help medically and that could benefit from good care here in America. Because of this we didn't know how he would be able to relate to Silas but were trusting and praying that God would work this out. We had lots of discussions with him. Yet we knew that God would bring us the right boy and the right brother for Silas in His timing and in his way. And we were looking forward to God answering questions of our own....

to be continued....  Part V

Vivien, Home of Hope and Edith's Story

I love sharing our adoption story (here here and here). I’ve barely begun and have so much more, but I am going to deviate from it and share a little bit about Viv and our connection Edith and invite you to participate with us at an event coming up.

If you have read our blog at all, you know that we have so much love for Viv and so much joy in her. We have often reflected on the medical benefits we have for Viv here in America and think about the “what if’s” of her being born in another country.

Edith Lukabwe grew up in Uganda. When she gave birth to her son Derrick he was healthy but contracted a disease shortly after birth that left him severely disabled. As they realized the extent of his disabilities those from her community began to reject her. They called her cursed. Family members believed that she had brought a curse to their family. They believed her son Derek was cursed. Many in Uganda see disabled people as cursed or even demon posessed and reject them, hide them or abandon them.

Not only was it difficult for him to get the medical support that he needed, she was shunned by many. She was just a mom who loved her son and she was often rejected. Her husband was supportive but it was still very difficult.

The story is much longer than this with many more details, but at one point God spoke to her and asked her if she would have room in her heart and home for some other children she knew of who had disabilities and were not being cared for. At that time, she thought she’d take in the few that God had told her to take in. She thought that was going to be it. But God had a different plan. One that seems incredible when you look at where she is today. Many people thought she was crazy to take in these children that no one wanted.

Soon other children started showing up, often abandoned with no sign of parents. Again, the story is much longer and more complicated and I am abbreviating , but Edith and her family and some staff now run a home of 55 children with special needs. She also reaches out to the community, teaching parents with children with special needs therapies, and how to care for their children.  They have been faithful to what God called them to and they are running out of room.

Embrace Kulture sponsored Edith to come earlier this year and we all– with a lot of your help, were able to raise the funds to buy the land adjacent to Home of Hope. It was amazing to watch this happen. Now they have started to actuall build on this land and need more funds for this home.  We have put together a US board and a new organization with a 501c3 that is dedicated to helping children with special needs in Uganda.

We are hosting a fundraiser for Home of Hope. We’re so excited to invite you.  Invitation HERE.  There will be a delicious sit down dinner provided by Richard's Good Food , and you can meet this amazing woman and hear her whole story. I have left out a lot of details and it is worth hearing.

In thinking about Viv and the joy she is, we want each of these children at her home to be cared for well, loved and provided for. We would love for you to make this your goal also. As we continue on in our adoption story, you will find out more about our connection to Home of Hope and Joseph.

Even if you cannot make it to the event you can GIVE HERE. And whether you can make it or not, would you be willing to share this post or the facebook invite and spread the word? Please pray that many will come and give generously to bless these precious kids!