That was similar to our reaction when God talked with Todd and I (separately) about this. Neither one of us thought the other would go for it and we both wondered if we were crazy. But as you shall see as you read, we surprised each other, just as God surprised us! It's quite the story...
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| Joseph |
We have completed our home study and are working with an adoption agency. Todd and Maggie were able to meet little Joseph while they were on their medical mission trip. We will be adopting him, Lord willing, from Home of Hope. Todd and Maggie were thrilled (and emotional) when they met him and we are hopeful that he will join our family soon. Ugandan adoptions can be complicated and uncertain but as you will see, God has made it clear to us to begin this process and we are trusting that He see it through. We've heard Him speak in surprising ways and we are excited for what He is going to do.In other news, Vivien began school this month and has been doing amazing. We love her teachers and it has been a wonderful experience for her and for us. We are really grateful for the therapies she gets at school and for her committed, dedicated teachers.
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| Teacher Molly |
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| Teacher Sharmy |
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| Maggie and Isaac and Rachel's boys Ezra and Aaron on either side of Joseph Cousins-to-be. |
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| Our relatives, Dan, Susie, Rachel, Issaac and boys |
The reason we wrote that Vivien will be a big (or little) sister is because we are not quite sure of Joseph's age. Joseph has cerebral palsy and in Uganda, disabled children are often looked on as curses. They are also difficult to care for and Joseph was found, on the grounds of Home of Hope wrapped in a banana leaf when he was around age one. Even parents who may love their children might not believe they have the ability or resources to care for them. Joseph is most likely around 3 or 4 now.
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| Edith, Todd, Joseph and Maggie Outside of Home of Hope |
So we invite you to come with us on our journey as we be blog about the past, the present and the future.
The story of Joseph - Part I
by Molly
I keep a prayer list. There are a lot of names on my list, but foremost I pray for each one of my kids. I have a few paragraphs that are specific to the strengths, weakness and needs of each child and then I have words I pray and think on for all of them. On November 2nd of 2016 I had 5 children on my prayer list. On November 3rd I woke up praying for 6 kids. God kind of blew our minds on November 2nd. But in order to tell you about November 2nd, I need to back up a bit. Three years in fact.
In early September 2016 we had a play date with a friend of mine. She has four boys and we'd been meaning to get together for a while and were finally doing it. Silas is always super eager to have boys over as the estrogen can be a little thick at our house. As the kids played happily in the backyard Sanae shared a story with me that really affected me. Both of us were crying by the time she was done. She'd had a rough patch with homeschooling her four energetic boys. She'd been sick for several weeks, and felt woefully behind, frustrated and she felt like she would never catch up. As she was praying about it, she felt like God spoke to her and asked her why she homeschooled. What was her purpose? She knew it wasn't just about academics, getting into good universities or having amazing careers. After thinking it through she gave Him what she felt like was the bottom line. " What I want for them is to love You and serve You.... I want them to have the kind of faith that would make them drop everything in life to obey you when you call." She felt like He spoke back to her, “Very good! Now, YOU live like that.” That was the end of the conversation.... for a time.
Soon after that she attended a funeral of some good friends of hers, the Joss family. Their family had adopted quite a few children with special needs from other countries. Recently they had adopted a little girl who passed away 4 days after she arrived. She had been sick with a cold but still very active. The doctor had been called and while advice was given, there was nothing terribly alarming enough to bring her in. She didn't even have a fever but passed away very suddenly and tragically from what was determined later to be pneumonia.
At the service, the father of this family was talking about children who have special needs all over the world, waiting to be adopted. As he was talking Sanae felt the Lord whispering to her, what she called the "A-word". She felt like He was speaking to her heart about adoption. She was totally opposed to the idea, reminding God that they had a small house, small means, and that she was already overwhelmed with homeschooling their boys. How could He ask her to do something like this? Yet He kept speaking to her heart so she told Him that she would obey, but she needed Him to change her heart and help her to be willing. To her surprise He did. He actually made her excited about the idea. She prayed about it before telling her husband but when she did and he prayed about it as well, God made it clear. They were at that time in the process now of adopting a baby girl with Downs-Syndrome from China. As I write this post today (in 2017) they just brought their sweet and adorable little girl home a few days ago!
As Sanae shared her story with me, at the same time, I felt God speaking to my heart as well. And He reminded me of something that had happened three year earlier. Something I'd written in my journal and completely forgotten about.
As you may know from what I wrote in my book, when we had four kids and were praying about a 5th, Todd and I were not seeing eye to eye for a time. He felt done and I felt like we were supposed to have another. I remember specifically jogging, near my Mom's house while she watched the kids. I was listening (as usual) to Lisa Bevere and she was telling the story of when God spoke to her to have more children. As I was listening I felt like God said clearly to me, "You are going to have another baby and then you are going to adopt another one." I thought that was the strangest thing ever. It seemed like a completely random thought and I wondered if it was just my own thoughts or truly from God.
I had been feeling for a while like we were going to have another child, and I was trusting God with this and praying that He would change Todd's heart in His timing. But I had no idea why He would say adopt. In my mind, if we wanted another child, why would I not just have another child? Why would we adopt? And how in the world would I ever convince Todd we were supposed to adopt when he wasn't even ready to have another one of our own?" At the time I took the assurance about another child from God, and I wrote in my journal what He had said about adoption. I didn't feel like He was asking me to do anything about it. I just felt like He was telling me it as a fact that was going to happen. So I just wrote it down and literally forgot about it. I didn't even tell Todd. I basically told God at the time - "if You want this to happen and if this is you and not just a random thought of mine, You have to be the one to tell Todd. I'm still working on the next baby. If adoption is supposed to happen, You have to tell him."
As you know if you've read the story in my book, He made it clear to Todd and I through a series of events that we were supposed to have a 5th baby who turned out to be Vivien. God worked so beautifully in both of our hearts about that decision. But as Sanae was speaking He reminded me of what He'd told me about adoption. Suddenly it all began to make sense. He wanted us to adopt a special needs child. My heart would never have been open to adopting a child with special needs before Vivien came along.
I have always said, "I'm not a special needs mama." It is not me. I am Vivien's mama, because she is MINE and I love her and though our journey with her has been difficult at times, in other ways, it has turned out surprisingly natural and easy and good. I know that is because of God's grace though, not because of me. There are people who are truly "naturals" at taking care of babies and kids with special needs. With his medical background and passion for meeting people's practical needs and doing it well, Todd is one of those "naturals." These are people who have hearts for it and who find deep fulfillment in working in the arena of special needs. Being Viv's mama, I have met a lot of people - both moms and professionals alike who are "naturals" and gifted and drawn in that way. I know that I am not one. He has given much grace with Vivien. And yet.....
I knew in my heart as Sanae was speaking that God was asking us to adopt a special needs child. I knew that was why I was crying as she told me about it. I knew that that is why He put this word about adoption into my heart three years ago and I knew that it was supposed to happen as she spoke to me that day in September. I would have not been open three years ago to a special needs child adoption, but as I was sitting there, I felt like He was reminding me, "Sanae is saying yes to me and her house is smaller than yours, her means are less, and you have lots of help with homeschooling. And you have experience with a special needs child." Sanae was a beautiful example of trusting Him and He was taking away all my excuses.
At the same time, I remembered what I'd said to Him before. I basically told Him again, "The deal is still the same. You have to tell Todd." After Sanae left, I mentioned to Todd how much her visit affected me and I told him some of their story. I didn't tell him about what God had said to me, but I kept saying that we had to have them over and let them tell their story to him. I was meaning to do it too, but life gets busy and so I just kept it in my heart and prayed about it.
To be continued..... (Part II Here) (Part III Here) (Part IV Here)
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