News about Vivien - by Todd and Molly

As I share the following letter with you that Todd and I wrote, I can't help but look at the three blogposts preceding this one.  I must tell you that while we are grieving and processing the journey that we have ahead, I still believe every word of what I wrote in those posts, without knowing where life was going to take me.  In fact, the truth in those posts is even more real to me now, and has brought me great comfort.  What Jesus has assured me in this time, is that no matter what the outcome, because my joy is in Him, I can still have it.  It may be mixed with sorrow but we can focus on celebrating the joy of our precious little girl no matter how long she lives.  Jesus will give us sustaining joy no matter what the circumstances because He promises this.  And in the past few weeks He has assured me of this in a tangible way emotionally - not just in my head but in my heart.  I have not been without tears, but there is an underlying peace about the future, because of who He is and the joy He has for us.  We can absolutely trust Him and know that our little girl is in His hands, and that brings joy despite the circumstances.  I am so grateful. - Molly

Dear Friends and Family, 

As many of you know, we are expecting another little girl on September 2^nd.  We’re excited for her arrival and would appreciate your prayer.  We know we have told some of you about this already, but we wanted to give some more details and ask for specific prayer.  Several ultrasounds, a genetic DNA test as well as an amniocentesis test all reveal that she been diagnosed with Trisomy 18 or Edwards Syndrome.  Only about 50% of babies with this condition live until birth.  Of those who live through the birth, only about 10% live until their first birthday.  Those who do survive can sometimes live into their teens, but with major physical and mental disabilities about the level of a 6-12 month old infant.   You can find more info here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trisomy_18  and here  http://trisomy.org  if you are interested in knowing more.

We have definitely been grieving, crying, processing and working through so many emotions.  The first shock of the news was the hardest, but God continues to give grace and comfort.  We do feel like God has given us an amazing, if not almost miraculous sense of peace.  We have cried many tears and know we will cry many more but overall, He has given us a beautiful baby girl, and this diagnosis does not change that.   We will enjoy the life He gives our little girl in the womb and, hopefully outside the womb.  Every day that she’s with us is a celebration of her life.  Probably the most difficult part of this is the uncertainty, not knowing if this will be a journey of a few months, a year, or of many years.  God has emotionally taken us to each of the different scenarios and shown us how He can give us peace and even eventual joy in every circumstance.

Please join us in praying for her.  First of all we are praying for complete healing for her body.  We know that Jesus is big enough to change chromosomes and work miracles.  At the same time we are thankful for the medical community and early diagnosis to be able to prepare for whatever He has for us.  We would appreciate prayer for continued peace, grace and comfort.  Pray for our children too as they have some understanding of what is going on.  The three oldest have cried and grieved at different times, in their own ways.  We continue to help them process everything that is going on.   We would also appreciate prayer for them at the time of her birth, especially if there is an extended hospital stay.

Please pray that we would not be anxious, especially about the medical decisions that may be ahead.  If she does live past the birth there are a lot of decisions that will have to be made.  Some parents of babies with Trisomy 18 opt to use every effort and surgery to keep their babies alive.  Others, depending on the severity of the handicaps (as there can be a range) choose to make their babies as comfortable as possible without heroic measures.  We most likely won’t know the severity of her handicaps until she is born.  There is a relief in the fact that it’s not up to us.  We’re confident God will continue to lead us through this wilderness.  Nothing is beyond our capabilities when we’re leaning on Him.

We would also ask for prayer in how we go on with everyday life.   We have decided to try to keep many things normal, but to try to leave more margins for family time.  Please pray that God would show us what to say yes and what to say no to.  We would appreciate continued prayer for our marriage as we know that anyone dealing with the sickness or loss of a child can feel the pressure on their relationships.  While our friendship is closer than ever, and we’re fighting this hand-in-hand, we also know that we’ve never faced a trial like this.

Through this experience, we have been comforted in amazing ways. In praying about conceiving this baby, we feel like God made it so clear to both of us and spoke to us that we were supposed to have her.  The fact that He has spoken to us so much already about this little girl has given us great comfort in knowing that this is not a surprise to Him and not a mistake.   In addition to this, we have felt very supported as so many family and friends have prayed, cried and loved us well through this.  There have also been “providential” encounters with others who have gone through similar illnesses with their child.  We have had people pray without knowing all that was going on, at just the right time, and others who have spoken things to us that the Holy Spirit has spoken to us privately – confirming His active work in all of this.  We have also been tremendously encouraged through some portions of scripture that have jumped out at us (Psalm 46, portions of Isaiah 44:1-8, 24, 45:9-13, 25 and 66:8b-13).  Though we continue to have heavy days, we are still able to laugh with our kids and even have times of joy.  We know that God’s grace is very real and He will walk us through this.

We’ve recently given our girl the name “Vivien Grace Merry”.  Vivien means “alive, life”.  Her life (as well as all of ours) is a gift from God and we are held together by His grace.  We are planning on celebrating every day she is with us.  However long her life may be, we know God’s grace has been real.  None of us is immune from the effects of being born into a broken world.  Some bodies are crippled more than others.  Sin and sickness come from the curse.   But Christ’s redemption is greater than all our sin and we don’t want to give power to the curse.  Instead we want to celebrate the truth that in the end she will be with Him in victory.

Thank you in advance for your prayers and support.  We are blessed and grateful for the family and friends God has surrounded us with.

The Merry Family