Running Towards the Giant - by Todd

On a recent morning, after we received the diagnosis of Trisomy 18 for our baby girl, I was reading along in I Samuel. I love reading I/II Samuel, Kings and Chronicles in the Spring - must be something about conquests and wars. My heart was heavy over the journey that lay ahead. To be honest, I had been secretly hoping for a late miscarriage or even still birth, compared to the emotionally taxing work that lay ahead. My justification was that it would be easier to say goodbye without ever having formed the strong heart attachments that come with holding/feeding/caring for a baby with disabilities whose life will without a doubt be shortened. The physical/emotional battles that lay ahead felt overwhelming and beyond my strength.

Then I came to I Samuel 17. This is the beloved passage of David conquering Goliath, the Philistine who dared to taunt the armies of Israel. As anyone who has raised young children knows, leading/correcting/guiding/loving these little people can seem more daunting than a nine foot Philistine. Raising these little ones is a glorious work that I am sure will not be fully rewarded or recognized until we enter the next life. I can't help but think there is a very real reward for those who have strived well in the battle of parenthood while on their knees before Him.

The writer of I Samuel 17 goes into great detail, describing the strength and overwhelming presence of this Philistine warrior. He challenged the army of Israel to a fight man-to-man, with the consequences being complete submission for the losing man - and his army. None stood to challenge him. None gave answer to his taunting. His presence and challenge literally left the army of Israel without speech or action. Save for a young boy who found unusual confidence in God, this battle may have had a very different outcome.

What struck me as I read this was the fact of how David responded to the Giant's threats. His confidence was clearly not in his own abilities, but in God's grace through his life. To King Saul, he says "The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine" (v. 37). David had seen God rescue him in the past and his faith in continual/future grace from God gave him strength to press on for what lay ahead. As the song Oceans by Hillsong says "You've never failed and you won't start now". This was David's confidence: that the past grace God has poured into David's life would continue as future grace.

On reaching the battlefield and hearing the jeers of that no-good, nine-foot fool, David replies "You come to me with sword and with spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you defied. This day the LORD will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head.....that all the earth may know there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that the LORD saves not with sword and spear. For the battle is the LORD's, and he will give you into our hand" (v. 45-47).

Spears and javelins and swords are intimidating. Disease and the consequences of living in a sin-infested, broken world are scary and overwhelming. But there is a reality sharper than any sword and more powerful than any disease. While we live in this realm of limitations, consequences and disease, there is an eternal world not bound by the gravity of our sinful world. There is an eternal realm without disease or sickness and every tear is wiped away by a Savior who felt and bore the consequences of our iniquity. The broken are healed and the dead are raised when they enter that realm. Death and disease no longer have a grip - it's only a shadow or dream from their former life.

"When the Philistine arose and came and drew near to meet David, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine" (v. 48). Until facing a giant of my own, I had not seen this before. David ran toward the Philistine. His confidence in the God who had up to this very second been faithful to him gave him strength to run (almost recklessly) toward Goliath. With abandon, he throws off the seeming reality that according to the laws of this world, he is defeated. Statistics and past performances by others did not determine his actions. He was driven by the greater reality that his future success depended on a God who loved, cared for and met his every need. His security rested in the heart of a Father whose affections were on him and who was not bound by the "realities" of this world.

This is exactly what I needed to hear. I can run toward this giant. Not because I am a fighter well prepared in the tactics of caring for a baby with disabilities. But because I know Him to be faithful and loving and true. He has never left me, nor will He now. I need not shrink back in fear, but run toward the battle in confidence that I have a Father whose hand is on my shoulder and will continue to sustain me.

With every battle we face in this life, we will be tempted to be overwhelmed by the limitations of this world. But our success (which in the end, may or may not look like success) depends not on how well we equip ourselves, or gather supposed evidence that guarantees our victory, but on the confidence and belief that the God who gives us every breath and heartbeat will continue to sustain us. Why would He leave us now? Though we may be faithless, He remains faithful, because that is who He is (2 Tim. 2:11–13).

I don't know what our battle ahead will look like, or how it will be played out. But the giant we are facing in this life has no grip in the next. Our confidence is not in doctors, prognoses or medicine, but in the God who daily pours out affection on His beloved people. The torrent of His love will continue. His mercies are new every day and His grace sustains us in ways we have yet to even be aware of. My confidence is in Him and Him alone.