Almost Done - Joseph is ours and 1 more trip!

It has been way too long since we update this blog. Here are a series of updates, written during the time that Molly was in Uganda last. We are getting closer and next time we go, we should be picking Joseph up! Vivien and the rest of the family are doing well and having a great summer!

July 8, 2019

As I write this post I am in Uganda with a quiet day before me and a little time on my hands to update the blog, which we have been remiss in doing. I will begin this post now, and hopefully finish it on the plane on the way home.

When we last left off, we’d heard that the verbal ruling on whether or not Joseph would be officially ours, was going to be April 23rd. We waited for the day to arrive somewhat anxiously, but trusting God for peace with whatever the answer was going to be, especially considering that the last we’d heard from our lawyer was that she wasn’t sure that it would be favorable.

On April 23rd we received this e-mail: "This is to inform you that our Fatuma went to Jinja High Court today in order to receive the verbal Ruling for the Merry Petition. The Judge however, postponed the date for the verbal ruling to the 28th day of May, 2019."

Foolish us. We were thinking that either way – at least we’d finally have an answer. But no. This adoption process reminds me of a junior high teenage girl. So dramatic! Myriam was frustrated and we probably could have been but by this time we are so used to a roller coaster when it comes to this adoption that we just sort of grieved it a little bit and then went on. As I read the e-mail thinking it was going to be our answer, I felt myself go all shaky, but afterwards, I just felt like God gave a lot of grace to just continue on and trust Him by quietly continuing to wait.

Our lawyer told us that she would try to visit the judge and request a sooner ruling which we were very thankful for, so we just resigned ourselves to more waiting. It felt never-ending. However On May 9th, I opened my e-mail in the morning to find a note from Myriam, our adoption agent, who received this from Patricia our lawyer: 

"This is to inform you that the verbal Ruling in respect of the Merry Family has been delivered today. The Merrys have been appointed the Adoptive Parents of TENDO JOSEPH!"

I hardly knew what to think or believe. It seemed so surreal and anti-climatc after over two years of this process, to begin my normal day and receive this e-mail and just go on with the day. I texted Todd right away. I felt so much relief and peace. I told the kids who squealed, screamed and laughed with delight. I wish in retrospect that I’d recorded their reaction because it was beautiful. It was hard to believe as I went through the rest of the day that it was real. As I went to bed that night, Todd kissed me and said, “Goodnight, mother of 6….” 

The next step was receiving the written ruling which would give us the ability to get the adoption certificate. It didn’t take as long as we expected and at the end of May we received word that I could come and apply for the adoption certificate. I started making plans to go and once again, it just felt stressful because we knew it would be good to go as quickly as possible and there are so many details to work out. But we jumped back – this time with relief - on the roller coaster again when we found out that I didn’t have to be there in person to apply for the certificate. Patricia was able to get someone else to file for this.

We did know however, that the next step after that, the passport, would be something that I would definitely have to file for in person. So on June 20th when we got word back that the adoption certificate was in hand, we began to make plans for me to fly out a couple weeks later. It was probably the most stressful to plan of any of the trips we’ve taken to Uganda because the week before I flew out, we were taking our annual trip to Seaside Oregon. We book our trip 13 months in advance and it is usually hard to book. The kids look forward to it all year. I needed to fly out the day after we got back because Myriam would be traveling at the end of July and we were wanting to apply for the passport in time for her to be there to receive it when she came. Packing for all the kids for Seaside (especially Viv with all her “accessories) is stressful by itself but also trying to pack for our trip, thinking of all the things I’d need in Uganda, some of which would have to go to Seaside with us as well.

Another thing to throw in the mix was that we decided to have Maggie come with me on this trip. God did kind of an interesting thing with us and threw in His own twist and change of plans. The plan has always been that when I pick up Joseph, I would bring Maggie, knowing that I would for sure need a second person. It would be nearly impossible to bring Joseph home alone.

Maggie in Katwe

But Todd’s mom had suggested that I take Silas instead of Maggie. Then another friend, who has always spoken into our lives said that she had been thinking and praying about telling me something an she felt like God was prompting her to suggest that we bring Silas. Initially, both Todd and I brushed it off, feeling like Maggie was a better fit but after thinking about it and praying both of us felt like God was leading us to consider having Silas come with me to pick up Joseph. We haven't made a final decision about this and Silas is still praying and thinking about it, but we decided to consider it for several reasons.

One of the reasons was that Maggie's trip to Uganda for the first time was so broadening and life changing and we wanted Silas to experience some of this too. We'd also been told by others who had adopted overseas, to be intentional about whoever we chose to come pick up Joseph because the bonding process begins right away. With Silas's desire for a brother we really want to foster this bonding and connection and thought that this would be a good opportunity for him. Maggie has met Joseph several times but Silas has been praying for a brother for so long and we have wanted him to make a good connection with Joseph. Another, more practical part was that, managing Joseph and carrying him is hard work. Couple that with flights, connections, baggage and all that comes with it, just his physical strength was a plus for Silas.

But in deciding to consider possibly having Silas come instead of Maggie to pick Joseph up, we knew that Maggie would be crushed. Maggie’s heart is in Uganda for sure. She loves the people, she missed my cousin and her kids and was so looking forward to the trip. We’d talked about stopping in Paris on the way over and she was looking forward to that too. In addition to this, because of the adoption, Todd had decided against going on the mission trip that he and Maggie have been to for the past couple of years and next year he is planning on taking Silas on the trip. So Maggie wouldn't be able to go back for a long time. 

So all things consider we made the decision to have her come with me on this trip and think about Silas coming on the next when we actually pick up Joseph. I have loved traveling with her. I feel so very thankful and we are going to stop at Paris on the way home as well, since the cost of tickets are the same whether I we go round trip to Uganda or stop on Paris and we'd been hoping to do this for sometime.

We are still in the process of praying with Silas about whether he will come or someone else, but we know God will make it clear when the time comes.

So Maggie is with me now and we are here in Uganda, ready to see Joseph tomorrow and apply for his passport. It is amazing to think that this process is almost over and next time we will be bringing him home.

We are thankful that the kids are doing well, Vivien is healthy and we are feeling probably more ready than we have, simply because we’ve had to wait so long and had more time to prepare.

July 12, 2019

Maggie and Elizabeth

This was quite a week. We arrived in Uganda after lots of hours of flying and making sure we were making all the right connections. We had a small layover in Kenya, where I got to visit my friend Elizabeth and her son Blessing.  After reaching Uganda We ended up having two full rest days, (we were only expecting part of one) because there was some confusion with the man who was arranging our passport meeting and he was thinking we were coming the next week.  He had made the appointment for Wednesday of the following week instead of this one. He was able to change it to Thursday morning but it meant that Edith would need to come with Joseph the night before. So she arrived Wednesday evening and Maggie and I had a couple of days of rest in which we tried to catch up on sleep. We’re still a bit jet-lagged 5 days later but we’re working on it.

Joseph in the crib in our room

When Edith arrived with her son Denis and Olivia, and put Joseph in my arms, he recognized me immediately. As I exclaimed over him and started kissing him he began giggling. Literally laughing with joy. It made me happy. It was clear he remembered us and was so happy to be with us. Edith and I fed him together which continues to be challenging for me. It takes quite a while, and there is usually food everywhere. When Silas and I bring him home on the plane ride that’s going to be a lot of work. However his smiles are so beautiful and we know that God is going to take care of everything and give us grace to care for him as he needs.

We had had a crib put in our room so he slept with Maggie and I that night and happily fell asleep fairly easily. He is on medications that help him relax. We know when he gets to America there is going to be some trial and error in figuring out what his body will need.

We woke early an got him fed and ready and went to the passport office to apply. Maggie stayed back and it went very smoothly. Much more than I expected but Jessy and the lawyers had arranged everything. I felt very nervous but there was no need to be.

At the Passport Office - Outside under a tent

Edith and her son and Olivia took Joseph back home and I met with the lawyers and Jessy to strategize the next steps for the I-600 and the visa application. Myriam will be here in a week or so and will take care of that process but she had tried to get an appointment and hadn’t received one. They all agreed that I should visit the embassy and after some discussion on whether or not I should try to make an appointment or just go.  Jessy said I should just show up because more gets done when a person is there.

The visit to the embassy also made me nervous because though Jessy brought me there, I had to go in myself alone and they took away my phone and purse. I waited in a room with others and talked with a girl who was going to a Bible college here. She was from South Carolina and had come here an fallen in love with the country and has been here for two years. It put me a little more at ease.

My interview went well and woman I talked to assured me that they would e-mail with an appointment. Sure enough as soon as I got home I got an e-mail from Myriam telling me that she had received the appointment. Jessy was right.

Sweet Brenda

This meant that I could leave the following day for Isaac and Rachel’s in Iganga without having to wait and do any other paperwork. In the evening Maggie and I visited Brenda, who we have sponsored for the past few years. Todd and Maggie have visited before and she has no parents and truly considers us her family. She didn’t know that we were coming and when she saw us she exclaimed with joy. She is super affectionate we loved spending time with her. The last time we were there we had given her a little money and she had used some of it to buy these sweet plaques for Maggie and I that said, “Sis” and “Mum” with beautiful words on them. We visited the boarding school that she attends and it was in some ways, a difficult experience. I know that she is cared for physically and she studies hard and has friends there, but the difference between schools in America and schools here make my heart hurt. The abject poverty is evident, and yet they are grateful and work hard. My heart went out to her and she was so thankful that we got to visit

And even as I ride in the back an air conditioned van through the streets of Kampala, working on a journal from my laptop, where people are riding on “boda bodas” 3 or more to a seat, some walking, some in crowded hot buses, children playing barefoot in the dirty streets, I feel both grateful and guilty at the same time. I know the truth is that even if we gave all that we had (as the woman in the Bible who gave her two coins) we couldn’t help all the poor in Uganda. But we can do what God has called us to do and trust Him as he leads and guides, and I can pray that he will help my heart give, more, love more, be more selfless and willing to obey Him and truly love.

Now we are on our way to visit my cousins Rachel and Isaac and see Joseph and Home of hope this weekend.

July 15, 2019

We arrived Friday at Rachel and Isaac’s after a very long drive and got settled in. It was fun to see my cute little cousins. Maggie was especially excited. It was also good to see how much has been done on the building of their lovely house. They still have more to go but they are making progress.

Saturday we left early. Edith’s son Denis picked us up. Rachel's home is quite a ways from Jinja, but definitely closer than Kampala. Joseph once again, was so excited to see us, and as the put him in my arms, he started grinning and giggling. We toured Home of Hope and got to see how much was accomplished on the second floor of the new building, which will be used to house volunteer workers when they come. They also had a new kitchen that is almost ready to be used and a great improvement on the last one

Children at Home of Hope

On the roof of the newer
building that still needs funds.

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Edith had just finished some wonderful community outreach where they educate people about children with disabilities and educate parents on how to care for their children. We also filmed some videos for Todd to use on the website for Home of Hope in the US. Then we took Joseph for the afternoon to this pretty little place that Isaac and Rachel knew about called the Nile Nest. It was overlooking the Nile, with steps down to the broad beautiful river. It actually reminded me, again of Hawaii with lots of space, grass and palm trees and tropical flowers. Joseph was so happy and we fed him until he was full 3 times. Denis was helpful in making sure we didn’t give him too much but he was excited to have yogurt and juice, which he doesn’t usually get.

Once again, it made me so excited for how he can be helped when we get him home. Edith is doing her best but with 60 children to care for, there will be things that can be done for him in America that are just not possible in Uganda. We are excited to see improvements.

The Nile River

At the Nile Nest, Maggie and I went down and touched the Nile. (She was scared of crocodiles the whole time). Our food took a while to be delivered but we had snacks and Isaac picked mangoes for us that were totally delicious. We took Joseph back in the late afternoon and I got a note from Jessy saying that he has picked up the passport and Patricia our lawyer has it ready for when Myriam comes next week. 

Sweet Irene

Sunday we went to church and it was so great to be with believers on the other side of the world. The one speaking that morning was also a doctor who is on staff for Rachel and Isaac at the clinic and he spoke on Lazarus and waiting on God. He got some laughs when he said that in the story, Jesus was on Ugandan time and it wasn’t the timing that Mary and Martha wanted. He said we sometimes want God to be on our time, not Ugandan time. It was a good reminder of our long wait for Joseph and trusting God’s timing. I met a lady named Irene that I connected well with and enjoyed.

Sunday at Church with the Speaker

We bought our meat for the evening meal and then came home, got packed up and then in the evening finally got to visit the hospital – the Hope and Healing Center that Rachel and Isaac are building. The first building is completed and they have already been seeing patients. In fact, this week they were doing a community outreach and will be seeing their thousandth case this week.

Hope and Healing Center

Maggie and I left early in the morning the next day. There were some definite tears coming from my sweet passenger in the car thinking of leaving Joseph, her cousins and her beloved Uganda, knowing that it will be at least a couple of years most likely before she sees it again. God was so kind to give us a good-bye distraction in the form of a gorgeous Ugandan sunrise on our way to the airport. I had our driver pull over and climbed a small hill to capture the moment and was rewarded with some beautiful photographs.  We left for a wonderful couple of days in Paris which was super special not only because it was Paris - but also because of getting to be with Maggie.  We felt very grateful

Paris

Ugandan Sunrise

The next step Myriam from the adoption agency has completed.  She has applied for his visa and immigration and we should be able to pick him up in the next few weeks to three or four months, depending on how long everything takes. A little bit more waiting but it is amazing to think that the next time we will be picking up Joseph! 

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.