Fall, a Genuine Vacation and a Scare

September brought school which was decidedly different this year with covid. The oldest four returned to homeschooling with our classical co-op with Lucie and Iva on zoom and Maggie and Silas in person since their Rhetoric class is small.  The oldest have a heavy load of schoolwork but they are doing well with the challenge. Lucie and Iva did have a few fun outdoor events where they connected with their classmates.

School also has begun over zoom for Joseph and Vivien.  To say zoom school is not ideal is an understatement.  If I were a person who swears, that first day would have definitely brought it out in me.  Figuring out links and technical issues alone was frustrating.  Vivien doesn’t relate at all to screens.  They mean nothing to her since she cannot see well.  We were so looking forward to in-person school for Joseph as he needs more stimulation and loves new experiences.  Despite lots of siblings and trying to keep his mind and body busy he does get bored which translates into frustration for him.  Because of his lack of ability to move intentionally or even physically play with toys, it is hard to entertain him all the time and we don’t want to fall back on screens too much.

We originally expected that school would bring some relief in the area of time.   Zoom school did the opposite of giving more time to my already overwhelmed state.  Because Joseph and Vivien are both completely dependent, someone needs to be in front of the screen moving the mouse, helping them count or clap or coloring hand over hand etc.  The other kids could help but they were also busy with school and the time it took was a huge source of stress and frustration.

Thankfully from a standpoint of learning, Joseph loves school, even over zoom.  I have been impressed with his teacher and how she is doing her best to make schoolwork, despite the medium.  He likes screens and interacting with people over them.  He gets tired of sitting by the end, but overall his mind is active and he is most attentive and able to learn.  For Vivien, she could care less.  It is what it is and we are doing our best to do what we can for her.

God was good to us however when it came to timing.  Shortly after school started, we were finally able to get caregivers through DDA (Developmental Disabilities Administration) for Joseph after trying for months. I probably would have had to pull him and Vivien out of school if this had not been the case simply because of time constraints.  Even without zoom school, having two kids with special needs feels all-consuming and on occasion, neglectful of our other children so I was thankful to God for these caregivers. DDA contracts through agencies and so far, every person who has been sent by an agency has been originally from Africa.  Joseph gets to be cared for by women of color that have similar customs, mannerisms, and even accents to what he is familiar with at Home of Hope with the many “nannies” there..  Rihana has been with Vivien for a couple of years now, and she is wonderful with her.  She is from Ethiopia and has been in the US for about 8 years and we love her.

One of the new caregivers for Joseph has been in the US since January, one month short of Joseph’s time here. She is in her early twenties, studying to become a nurse, and loves to tease Joseph and help him laugh.  The other is a sweet young grandmother who has been here longer but English is a bit more of a struggle for her.  Though sometimes communication can be difficult, we manage, and we are so thankful for them. They all have a Muslim background.  Their hours vary and one actually cares for both Vivien and Joseph which brings flexibility.

We also recently switched from driving Joseph and Vivien back and forth to therapies to in-home therapy.  It has been a huge help not to haul wheelchairs and kids into the car several times a week and the therapists are wonderful.

Fall brought both Vivien and Joseph's birthday. Vivien turned six in September and Joseph turned 7 in October. While there was no big party because of covid we had nice family birthdays and a trip to the zoo. Joseph also came trunk or treat at our church and enjoyed fall festival candy for the first time at the end of October. He loves new experiences and his eyes were wide at all the costumes and decorations. One of our caregivers joined us for some of the time

While having these caregivers and therapists in our home is a huge answer to prayer and a great help, the transition has been difficult to say the least.  As you may remember, right after we adopted Joseph I struggled again with insomnia, which made caring for him physically and emotionally stressful.  The arrival of coronavirus and the ceasing of so many other activities bought relief and by summer, I was sleeping much better. 

However, this fall I had a bit of a relapse in insomnia as my stress levels mounted.  it is frustrating to me that stress triggers the very thing that actually causes more anxiety. Lack of sleep brings on more stress! Several things turned on the pressure.  First, training the caregivers was more time consuming than taking care of Joseph and Vivien myself.  Once they were trained it got easier, but we also had to go through a few caregivers. One came once and never came back (I think she was overwhelmed with the work, which I understand) and the other wanted to care for him but wasn’t strong enough physically to move him. 

The second stressful component was zoom school as I mentioned before.  Third, as the therapies began, communicating transitional information to the therapists to help them get to know Joseph and Vivien also took time.  School therapy over zoom meant someone had to be present the whole session, physically moving and working as the therapist's direct.  It isn’t incredibly effective although the therapists are doing their best through the medium they have been given and I’m sure if they were working with them in person we would see more results.  They are wonderful people and we're looking forward to the point where we can meet them in person and it can be a little more effective. The in-home therapies have been much more constructive and also easier on us.  In counting them all up, between sessions over zoom and in-home therapies, there are 14 sessions a week including OT, PT and speech, which feel a little crazy at times.

Lastly, in late summer and early September, Vivien was struggling with vomiting.  It increased to once or even twice in a day.  Rihana helped when she was here, but when she wasn’t, the rather dramatic interruption and then time spent cleaning was frustrating, to say the least.  Our laundry load also increased and to top things off, our dryer quit working.  Thankfully Grandma Merry is close by and could help with our loads.  Also thankfully, Vivien isn’t bothered by vomiting.  She is emotionally unaffected by it, other than afterward looking around and giving us a big smile because she feels better.  It’s no big deal and par for the course for her as she is used to it.  She does have an early warning system and we know the signs but don’t always catch it

As I started to struggle with sleep I realized that we needed to establish patterns that would work for us.  I’ve always taken a rest day once a week and since we adopted, it has been much harder to make it happen.  Through the insomnia, God reminded me of this and I needed to be intentional about Sabbathing.  Eventually, I rescheduled everything so that we have one day a week with no therapies which is healthy for all of us. I don't schedule any events that day and the younger girls to go my mom's for the day.

With the sleep and anxiety issues, one of the things I had to work through emotionally was the catch 22 of caring for Joseph and Vivien and having people in our home.  As I mentioned before, we are incredibly grateful for all of the therapists and caregivers, but in the beginning, having so many people every day to oversee felt incredibly uncomfortable and exhausting.  Home didn’t feel like a place of rest.  But if they were not here, there was the hard work of caring for Joseph and Vivien which, at this point, is all-consuming of my time.  Todd has been focusing on school for the other kids and my focus has been the youngest two.  Even in writing this, I feel the need to clarify that we are grateful and thankful and that all those who come are wonderful people who do their jobs well, and truly care for us and our children.  But it has been a difficult transition emotionally.  We have had to lean on God’s grace to move into this new normal.  God reminded me that transitions are hard but it wouldn’t always feel as stressful as it did those first few weeks.

He was right of course.  Even as I write this in mid-November, I am sleeping fairly well. We have settled into more of a routine, though scheduling three caregivers, as well as the therapists, is quite a feat.  I am feeling more comfortable with having people in our home most of the day.  I feel like I went from completely overwhelmed to busy but not stressed out of my mind. Life with 6 kids at home, 3 caregivers, 3 therapists in and out is fast-paced at times, and there is still not a ton of down time, but it feels manageable instead of out of control.

We did a lot of troubleshooting with Vivien, changing food and meds, to try to figure out the vomiting.  I went to online forums on Facebook to ask others with kids with T-18.  As a result, we found a medication that has improved her tummy immensely, reduced the frequency and as a bonus, she is gaining weight.

As an added blessing, having caregivers enabled Todd and I to do something that we haven’t done for 6 years.  We had a getaway sans kids for 3 nights!  Next March we will be celebrating our 20th anniversary.  We booked a longer anniversary trip next year but, with all the things that could happen, we realized that flying out for a full week probably wouldn’t be the wisest way to transition with our brood.  We decided to do a small trip this fall.  We chose Oregon, knowing we could drive back in an emergency and booked 4 nights, which turned into 3 so that we could have a trial run before being gone for a full week next year.

We had help.  We received more care hours, both for Vivien and Joseph. A friend of ours from church who has done respite care and fostering offered to come at night and stay with our kids.  During the day the caregivers were here for the youngest two and the older kids went to Grandparents' or friends' houses.  In the mornings and evenings, the oldest three did all the work for Joseph and Vivien, putting them to bed, getting them up, and doing meds.  To our shock and awe - everything worked out!

We almost canceled the trip near the beginning of the month, and even right before leaving because things felt so busy.  Joseph was on the tail end of working with rehab doctors and reducing a medication he has been on since he was three and I was worried about how it would affect him as it can make him agitated in his body and anxious.  The day we left as we got in the car and drove our first few miles, I felt a heavy sense of gloom, wondering if I could even enjoy this time away, thinking about how difficult it could be for Joseph.  We explained to him as best we could what was happening, but I knew he didn’t fully understand.  I wasn’t too worried about Vivien as she is happy with whoever is caring for her and I knew the older kids would do ok.

We have cameras in every room in the house except the bedrooms and the therapists and caregivers can talk to us through them if necessary. I kept checking them to see how he was doing.  Joseph had so much agitation in the days previous as he was going off the medication. An hour or two out, I checked the camera and turned on the sound.  As I did, I felt like God gave me a gift.  I heard the speech therapist say cheerfully to Joseph, “You seem so much calmer and happier today than you were on Saturday.  I am so glad that you are feeling better.”  It brought ease and relief to my mind knowing that he was doing well and it reminded me of Gideon in the Bible, eavesdropping and getting encouragement at the Midianite camp.

The story goes that the Israelites were being oppressed by Midian (Judges 6) and the war was imminent.  The day before battle, the leader, Gideon, snuck into the Midianite camp and overheard two soldiers’ conversation.  One of them had had a prophetic dream, revealing that the Israelites would win the battle and throw off their oppressors.  Even if Gideon hadn’t overheard that conversation that battle still would have been won.  God didn’t have to give him extra encouragement, but He chose to and it gave Gideon the strength to move forward in what God had asked Him to do.  I felt like hearing those words from the therapist was so encouraging and helped me to relax and unplug a little, turning my focus to Todd, which was the reason we were going away.

God proved right in His encouragement to me, and it was one of the most refreshing, relaxing, fun and freeing times that Todd and I have had in a long time.  We enjoyed the drive to Bend, talking and listening to enneagram podcasts and discussing our personalities and those we love.  As we arrived it was almost surreal that unloading the car only took about 5 minutes and we could walk right in without bringing pumps, wheelchairs and mounds of luggage.  We stayed up late, (for us), slept in, and felt like kids again. 

As I’ve mentioned before, going somewhere with the kids is not a vacation.  We call it a trip.  Trips are still fun, but not vacations.  This was a genuine vacation!  We spent two full days hiking at Smith Rock State Park which is one of the most gorgeous places I have ever explored.  The weather was cool, sunny and perfect. We hiked all day and then rested all evening.  Relaxing, talking, and finishing our sentences without interruption felt surreal.  The kids called us in the evenings and reported on their days.  Though I’d check in on the cameras to see how Vivien and Joseph were doing fairly often, I found myself checking less and less as I saw that they all seemed to be doing well.  Todd and I connected well and were refreshed, emotionally, physically and spiritually, feeling so grateful to God for our time.

We had a bit of a scare the day after we got back.  As Joseph was coming off his medication a doctor recommended a new one to help calm him and we’d started a few weeks earlier.  The first time I’d used the new medicine he seemed more agitated so I stopped it, but after encouragement from another doctor, and not wanting him to be uncomfortable, I began it again thinking maybe he’d just had a bad day. He seemed incredibly agitated, almost to the point of distress. We thought it was the tapering off of the first medication.  There were even a couple days when he got increasingly unsettled and then all of a sudden, he started exhibiting what Todd said looked like seizure activity.  So during our trip, I’d called the doctor and asked if we could increase the dose of the new medication that was supposed to help calm his agitation and reduce the discomfort.

The day after we got back, as I was jogging I was listening to Lisa Bevere of course, and she said,  "It's time to embrace the risk of living your life. Yes daughter, heal for a season if you've been wounded, fight for forgiveness if you've been wronged, rest by all means to recover your strength.  A temporary retreat to assess your position is okay, but withdrawing is not an option.  A lot of people forget that it's impossible to be a hero without a battle." I was thankful I was for the “rest and temporary retreat” I had experienced and felt ready to continue in the battle of life.  

Let me tell you I needed that reminder.  Re-entry the day after the trip was rough on so many levels.  The kids were struggling with bad attitudes (even the ones who hardly ever have an attitude), I was tired and it was a crazy day. As we increased the medication that was supposed to calm Joseph, he seemed so unsettled.  I was home all day except for one errand and during that errand, Joseph had what appeared to be a more serious seizure.  Fetura and Lucie were there taking care of him and couldn’t get him to respond.  Afterward, Lucie held him and he immediately fell asleep.  He had had such a difficult day with so much agitation, and it was clear he was struggling emotionally, and at the end of his rope.  I went to bed frustrated and worried about how to help him, but wondered if it might possibly be the new medication and decided to discontinue it the next day.

As I went to bed I thought about the word of encouragement that morning.  I felt ready to fight "for" those I love in this battle of life” before the day started, but I was definitely not feeling it by evening.  Discouraged and wiped out were more accurate descriptions of my emotions.   But as God reminded me of what was spoke I thought of the verse, "How good is a timely word".  He gave me encouragement even when I didn’t know how much I would need it.

The next day we held off on the medication.  Joseph was a different person!  I felt like crying with relief.  He was calmer, happy and able to sit for long periods of time. He slept well through the night which hadn’t happened since we’d begun the new medication.  I realized that we were attributing his nervousness and agitation to the discontinuation of the first medication, instead of understanding the real cause was a reaction to the new medication   We were incredibly thankful that we’d discovered the cause and that the remedy was so easy.  Since discontinuing he has been better both physically and emotionally.

In the last week or so, I have been feeling a strong impetus from God to ask for healing for him.  We have obviously prayed for it before, but I have felt like He is reminding me to ask and petition.  I don’t have the faith to pray that his CP will disappear although I know I can ask this.  But I do believe that God wants us to ask for improvements in his body, in his abilities, in strength, and mental clarity.  He is driven to learn and his body prevents him from doing what his mind wants to do.  I felt like even figuring out this medication was a small answer to a prayer I will keep praying.

As we look ahead we are trusting God to give us new insights into both Vivien and Joseph, as well as the rest of our kids.  We are thankful for the caregivers, who have been giving us time to focus on the older four. We are thankful for the medication for Vivien which is reducing her vomiting.  We’re thankful for the ability to figure out what to do to help Joseph.  We’re thankful for the health and lack of sickness this fall.  We’re thankful for our time away.  We are trusting God to continue to give us grace and strength in what lies ahead and know He will guide and direct us!

New Firsts for Joseph and Racism - Summer 2020

Summer found us venturing outside, after spending most of the spring wondering with everyone else, what exactly was going to happen with this coronavirus and quarantine.  We began to have a little more contact with people and took a few trips, despite the coronavirus.  While I know that it has affected so many people in very difficult ways from health to finances, it does, at least at this point, feel like it has inconvenienced us, but not much more than that.  We are thankful.  I don’t personally know anyone here in WA who has had it, although I’ve had a few online acquaintances in other parts of the country and friends of fiends who have experienced it.  For us, as I mentioned in an earlier post, it has slowed down our life a little which has actually been helpful.

We spent our summer doing as many outdoor things as possible and we did fit in trips in with the Grandparents, who, after a few months of not seeing their grandkids decided it was worth the risk.  Joseph had so many firsts, usually having to do with water.  First vacation (Idaho), first time going swimming in a pool (Seaside), first time going swimming in a lake (Maggie Lake) and the first time with his feet in the ocean (Seaside), first ride in a power boat (Hicks Lake) first (and last) time camping all of which he loved so much.  He also met some of his cousins for the first time, both on the East and West side of the state. 

At Seaside he was he was googly eyed and open mouthed as we put his feet in the ocean for the first time and a wave would approach. He would dance with anticipation.  He loved the cold water on his feet and laughed and splashed.  It was a huge production to even get him out to the water as we obtained a rental type beach wheelchair, walked it to the beach, got him all ready and then out to the beach.  Afterwards we had to bring him back to the hotel room, clean him up and  return the wheelchair.  Needless to say it only happened a couple of times but he did love it.  The only way for him to wade was to hold him under the arms, semi-hanging, semi-standing up.  This got tiring for the holder.  The first time we put him back in the wheelchair he threw an absolute fit.  Screaming, ugly crying tantrum and all because he loved the ocean so much.  I basically feel the same way when I have to leave the ocean too so I had some sympathy for him. We took turns holding him, letting him play in the waves, putting him back in the wheelchair for a rest and doing it all over again until he tired out, we did too and he finally went back without complaint.

Happy "indoor" camper

We also took him camping at Maggie lake, which is one of our favorite parts of summer as Todd’s dad and step-mom have property there.  It was a huge challenge this year to navigate two kids with special needs along with the other four.  The difference between Joseph and Vivien is that Viv is an indoor girl and could care less if we are all doing fun things and she is missing out.  Even when camping, she prefers the trailer to being outside.  Joseph on the other hand wants to be in the middle of EVERYTHING.  Leaving him out or behind is just about his worst fear and he will let you know it if you do.  So getting him ready and hauling him down the short, steep trail to the lake is quite the ordeal. Once you get in the water, you basically just have to stand there in it with him while everyone else swims, but he thinks it’s the best thing ever.  He also absolutely loved the “Padamobile” as we call the little golf cart that we drive around the lake in.  I think he even loved it more than swimming and the first time we took him out in it, his eyes were as wide as saucers.

"Padamobile" Ride

Back at home we also have generous neighbors who let us use their pool, and he spent a lot of time there with all the kids cavorting around him.  Again it is a huge amount of work to wrestle him into his swimsuit and life jacket and then out of wet clothes afterwards.  He is getting so strong, and yet with his athetoid CP - he continually moves and wiggles, often in very contorted ways that make even lying down an athletic event.  When it comes to getting him dressed (or in the car or even strapping him into his wheelchair) we say, “picture Arnold Schwarzenegger as an octopus who just drank a lot of coffee” and then wrestle him. He’s not upset, just excited and his excitement translates to lots of movement.  Silas is growing strong and tall and thankfully can help carry when necessary.

All joking aside, it felt like summer was an mixture of joy, meaning and sorrow at the same time.  After we came home from Seaside, I felt an odd sense of grief, because what has been a source of joy, rest, relaxation and life for me, was just a lot of work and didn’t really bring the refreshment that it had before although it was still good to be with family and was not without fun.  Taking care of Joseph changed the experience for both Todd and I.  I love getting away with the family, and though caring for the kids was still a lot of work, I always found refreshment in it.  However, that didn’t compare to the work of caring for Joseph.  It was honestly just hard, physically and emotionally.  On the other hand, watching him experience all these new things, the kids bond with him and our family love each other did bring me joy and was meaningful.  It was a paradox

As I’ve mentioned before, we’re pretty sure his enneagram is 7 and what this personality type loves the most are exciting experiences.  This is him to a T - which makes living with a disability even harder for him (and for us), because he never wants to be left out and he wants to experience everything.   There were times this summer when I’d take the kids to the lake and it would be impossible to bring him if we were paddle boarding or going down the river.  We learned that if we were leaving, we would need to sneak around and not let him see them in swimsuits or there would be tears and anger involved.  Despite his sweet, charming ways, he can definitely throw a good fit.  It was also hard to plan any family outings because either Todd or I or one or two of the kids would have to stay home, or if we brought him, it was exhausting work. 

Todd and I did manage two days away at his parent’s cabin with Vivien, which was relaxing and refreshing.  My mom stayed with the kids at night and we paid Vivien’s wonderful caregiver, Rihana to take care of Joseph during the day.  It was so good to reconnect with each other and have some quiet relaxation.  Viv is feels easy to care for by comparison to Joseph so it did feel like a break.

The other thing that brought some sorrow, was that after going to Maggie Lake, we realized it is probably not going to be feasible to bring Joseph and Vivien camping next year.  I work really hard to have fun.  Both for my kids and myself.  I am willing to make all kinds of sacrifices and take great effort to make vacation successful and the more kids we’ve had, the harder it has gotten to make it work, but we’ve done it.  However, just a day or so into camping with everyone including Joseph this year, Todd and I realized that it was just too much.  We were literally working morning to night and there was no downtime when you counted all the little things that had to happen to keep things going with Joseph and Vivien in a camping and swimming setting.  We decided that next year, one of us would stay home at night and the other would stay with the 4 at Maggie lake.  We’d make day trips and were hopeful by then have a caregiver for Joseph as we do for Vivien.  We will probably bring Joseph on a couple of the day trips so he can still experience Maggie lake, but it will not be the whole time. It would mean no sitting around the campfire at night for us as a whole family, and either Todd or I traveling 3 hrs a day or so back and forth.

This is a total first world problem, but I was surprised by how much gloom descended upon me as we made this decision.  Maggie Lake is one of our favorites and to not go as a whole family next year made my heart sink.  Seaside was doable as we have a washer, dryer, dishwasher and the setting is manageable because of the condo conveniences.  It was still a lot of work, but possible.  Todd and I also discussed only doing one or two family trips a year and making any other trip we take, smaller, with one or the other of us and fewer kids.  We could still enjoy time with the kids, it would just look different.  I was frustrated and sad about these limitations on our activities and plans. I'm an enneagram 7 too! (but with an almost equally as strong eight wing), but I also knew that again, these are first world problems and the opportunities we are giving Joseph are large in comparison to our small “sacrifices”. To be able to vacation at all is a privilege.  A more accurate perspective of the world is that I can be truly grateful for the time we get away regardless of how many of us get to go.

The other thing we experienced this summer along with the entire US was all the turmoil surrounding George Floyd, Ahmed Aubrey, Black Lives Matter, the protests and riots.  I have always cared about racism but this year of course it became more personal with the adoption of Joseph.   

Grandma Merry Love

I truly believe that there are many in this country who do not understand what people of color experience on an everyday basis.  When we went to adoption conferences and received training to become a bi-racial family, we did a lot of educating ourselves.  We read books, listened to documentaries and podcasts by both white and black people, giving us a deeper understanding of the issues.  There is a very real bias in our judicial system, when it comes to crime and punishment for black versus white.  If you dig a little deeper, it is clear statistically that there was a time in past history, and even in very recent history that crimes by black men were given much stiffer sentences than white men.

While many Americans are not racist, all of us have bias and bias and this is something that we need to consider in our own hearts.  To say with pride, “I don’t see color” is a nice sentiment, but it lacks understanding because even if we “don’t see color”, there are many who do.  Because of this our “not seeing color”, actually keeps us from understanding what a black person goes through because we are unable to see how they are treated differently because of their skin.  When a black mama has “the talk” with her child, it isn’t about sex.  It’s about how to conduct yourself around the police.  It’s about keeping your hands out of your pockets when you are shopping and putting your hood down when you enter a store.  Wrongful accusation and bias is rampant whether we believe it or not

At the conference we attended, we heard from white moms who thought that we live in a pretty liberal state, where racism is rare, who, when their cute little black boys became teenagers, were shocked by how they were treated at school and in society and how quickly they were accused of things that never happened. They found that when they stepped in as white parents, all of a sudden the attitude toward their sons became friendlier.  These are conservative white mamas dealing with school administrators who quickly seemed to shift their perspective when they realized the parents of the boys they were dealing with were white.  Naïve white adoptive parents found out that racism is real and it is still here.  There are many good white people who may not be racist themselves but truly do not understand what our black brothers and sisters go through.

On the other hand, we do believe, along with Martin Luther King, and Abraham Lincoln, that we need to see people by the content of their character, not just by the color of their skin.  Our criminal justice system needs to be reformed.  Our police absolutely need reform and change.  But this does not mean that all white people are guilty or that all police are wrong and need to be defunded as many are calling for.  We also saw here in the Seattle area that peaceful protests and riots are completely different things.  Watching Seattle Police Chief, Carmen Best, a strong, articulate, compassionate yet tough black woman experience harassment, bullying even at her own home, finally resign from the force because of the pressure shows that there are political agendas and movements that have nothing to do with real care for black people.  You do not have to choose between loyalties to people of color and police.  There are good and bad policemen and the answer is to reform our system, not eliminate it.  There are many people of color speaking out in favor of the police, as well as many black police.  This does not have to be a polarizing movement.  But change does need to happen.

Iva and the Lewis & Clark
Statue in Seaside

In addition to this, we need to look at history with a critical eye.  Our kids have been learning more about the Civil War.  They also recently studied Lewis and Clark, who are heroes of sorts and read about Clark’s black servant, York who was outstanding in his service of the expedition and worked hard to make it successful.  When he asked for his freedom, afterwards it was not granted to him, even to go home and live with his wife who he had not seen for years.  He was permitted to visit and then go back to his labor. We talked with our kids about him and what a hero he was as well and how he was truly mistreated, despite his loyalty which wasn’t even deserved.  I am adding a link to an interesting article in the Washington Post about him. 
 

We do not need to cancel or rewrite history.  We need to find out what is true and take it for what it is worth, understanding the sins and victories of those who went before us.  Not all white men in history were bad.  Over 300,000 white men proved their opposition to racism in the Civil War, giving their very lives for the freedom of their black brothers.  You cannot give more than your life to prove your devotion.  Again, we don’t have to rewrite history.  But we do need to seek truth and recognize what may have been left out or not emphasized correctly.  Were Lewis and Clark still amazing explorers who contributed to our country?  Yes.  Were they also sinners, in need of reform?  Absolutely. Were there others who should have been honored and remembered like York and Sacajawea? Definitely. This is just one example, but learning to dig for truth in our history is important.

As we move forward, I pray that we will continue to do the work that Abraham Lincoln spoke of in the Gettysburg Address; That we would “be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced”… and “to the great task remaining before us” of loving and respecting our black brothers and sisters well, and working towards laws in our land that will accomplish this.