“That the works of God might be displayed…” Adoption Saga Part 9

Part I of our Adoption Journey begins here.  This post will be from Todd, with a bit about what God showed him after his last experience with Joseph in Uganda. I love his insight. As we post this in May of 2018, I (Molly) am getting ready to leave in a week to see Joseph again. I'll be traveling with my cousins. As of right now Joseph has the measles, complete with vomiting, and fever. Most of the children at Home of Hope have caught this and are now on treatment so pray for their healing and for strength for Edith and her staff. There are quite a few complications also regarding scheduling things at home for Todd next week so please pray for God's timing and freedom from anxiety for him.

In addition to this, the good news I hinted about in the last post is that there is a possibility that we could bring Joseph home in October, when Todd and Maggie travel there for their mission trip. Things change and are fairly fluid with Ugandan adoptions, but that is our hope and prayer so please pray with us.

“That the works of God might be displayed…” John 9:3 

 by Todd

Until four years ago, I never really considered God’s purpose for people with disabilities. I had just never given it much thought. That all changed when Vivien was born and I began to give more careful thought to how a person with significant disabilities plays a vital role in the kingdom of God. 

On this most recent trip to Uganda, I was able to spend three days with Joseph, Edith and others who surround themselves with disabled children. I’ll admit, it can still be alarming to see the depth of “disability” within a small building. While many of the 61 children can respond and interact, a significant number are totally reliant on others to help them with the most basic of tasks. 

While I had been able to spend some time with Joseph last September, I am still getting used to holding him, feeding him, communicating and interacting with him. With my other children, I got to daily see them grow into the people they are, but with Joseph I’m having to learn quickly. It’s messy quite frankly – literally and figuratively. I make mistakes and it can be awkward, but there are also smiles and giggles.

At one point, after feeding him in the hospital cafeteria while sitting him awkwardly on my lap, I found myself covered in rice, beans, urine from a leaky diaper and my own sweat from the tropical heat. I admit this was uncomfortable for my conventional self and I couldn’t help but ask, “God – what are you doing?” 

With Vivien and now Joseph, I’m having to re-orient my thinking. The pragmatic part of me values the ability to work, skill and ability. So how does one who is completely unable to perform even the most basic of life functions “display the works of God”? 

First – I’m reminded that it was not God’s intention that any of us would be sick or have a disability in the first place. Because we as humans chose sin long ago, our fallen, broken world causes children to be born with extra chromosomes, have traumatic births or blindness. None of these illnesses were His desire for us. Like all of you, I prayed against any illness or complication with all of our births. And, while I would still much rather have Vivien be whole and well, I have come to see a sweet redemption in her condition. I know that God has done a powerful work in our lives through caring for a child with disabilities – and I can’t imagine life any different. 

During one of the nights in Uganda, I awoke with a passage in my head – John 9:3 Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.” Jesus’ answer followed the question from his disciples about a man with a disability (blindness). “Who sinned – this man or his parents?” 

I can’t help but think of the perspective of one of the disciples standing there. Jesus sets the stage by saying “Look everyone, this man has been born blind so that the works of God might be displayed in his life. Now watch this…” 

He then spits in the sand at his feet, makes some mud, rubs the mud on the eyes of the blind man and tells him to go wash it off. What!?! How is there any hint of the glory of God in what just happened? You just embarrassed this guy on so many levels and now he’s going to go stumbling to the fountain to wash mud off his face while others are probably jeering at him! What just happened? 

When I think about the mess that comes with having a child with disabilities, I think of feed pumps, carrying her everywhere, propping her up after falling, doctor appointments, frequent illness, all-nighters in the ER, stares from others, etc. While my other four have had their complications, nobody has been as messy and complicated to raise as Vivien. 

And yet….. And yet I’ve seen a whole new side to humanity, to the heart of God for my disabled self. I’ve seen that in the same way I would die for this girl who is just able to be and not do, so God is content with me just being, not having to perform for Him. Despite her disability, she’s been able to move mountains in my own heart. She’s shown me my own hang-ups with God. Her life has been used by God to shape my own. 

I admit I have had moments during this adoption process where I may ask “God, how did we get to this point and why does it have to be so messy?” But I’m comforted by the fact that it was messy with Jesus as well – quite literally. To be truthful, the works of God don’t always look like the works of God. They look messy and awkward. In our attempts to imitate Him, we stumble at times and make messes. I love the fact that He got involved in the mess of our daily lives in order to bring us redemption. He took on the grit and grime to bring purpose, joy and freedom. At the very least, the cross shows the messiness of redemption. 

As I look forward, I know there will be times of joy, hope, frustration and despair during this adoption. In the same way, I look back on these past four years and see seasons of these as well – and He has been there for us all through it. God has been faithful and I know He will continue to be faithful. I look forward to the future, not because I know all the mountains and valleys ahead, but because I know He will be with us wherever the journey may take us.