Adoption Saga part 8 - Todd and Maggie's Perspectives

As I write this (March 6, 2018) Todd is sleeping at a hotel in Kampala, getting ready to go see Joseph in Jinja for the second time. We have found that we will need to go several times this year in order to make this happen. I'm looking forward to going in a couple of months and spending a longer time with Joseph. But as I promised, here is Todd and Maggie's first visit to Uganda in their own words. Maggie told me hers and I put it into written form. This is what happened in September of last year.  (If you want to start at the beginning click Here for Part I)

Todd:

Cousins!

After having spent nearly two weeks in Uganda on a medical mission trip, Maggie and I had planned to stay another four days with family and to meet Joseph for the first time. It was hard to say goodbye to our fellow group members, as we had become like family. Our cousins, Rachel and Isaac, their twin boys and Rachel’s parents took us in at their home in Kampala. We spent the night, then headed out to Jinja in the morning. Jinja is about a four-hour drive East of Kampala. The drive out to Jinja gave us opportunity to see more of the varied country of Uganda. While Kampala is very over-crowded and noisy, Jinja is a bit more spread out and slower.

Joseph lives at Home of Hope, just outside Jinja. Home of Hope was started by Edith Lukabwe after her own son was born with cerebral palsy. Edith has a huge heart for kids with special needs. Home of Hope currently cares for 56 children. Joseph was found one morning wrapped in a sheet under a banana tree in the front yard.

Banana Tree where
they found Joseph

As with other children, he had been left there because someone knew he would be well cared for. He was about a year old at the time and his cerebral palsy was evident. Most anyone with special needs is seen as a curse in Uganda.

I had heard from others who had been at Home of Hope, that it can be a bit overwhelming to see so many children with severe needs in a relatively small amount of space. While Edith and her staff care very well for the kids, they are short on space, beds and equipment. Knowing this, I told Maggie that if she didn’t want to come in she could wait out front for a bit. Once again, I had underestimated how strong Maggie can be in these situations.

Mama Edith Love!

Having seen so many pictures of Home of Hope and the kids, it seemed a bit surreal to be pulling up. As we walked in the front door, I heard Edith coming from the back of the house shouting! She and some of the other nannies came out singing a high-pitched, loud (very African) welcome. While I had never heard it before, Maggie and I couldn’t help but laugh and give hugs to Edith. She was in tears and was obviously grateful we had come. It was on this trip that I realized what a remarkable work Edith was part of.

After we spent some time in her office, Edith wanted to take us around to meet every single child. She was like a proud mother showing off her beautiful kids. Children with hydrocephalus, cerebral palsy, twisted bodies, or cognitive levels of infants. Their culture had said they were outcasts, not worth their attention. But here, they had found a home and love.

We spent a few minutes with each child, getting down at their level, interacting with them and learning about them from Edith. I had wondered when we would meet Joseph. After about a dozen kids, we met him, sitting with one of the nannies. Edith said “And this is Joseph….”. I asked the nannie if I could hold him and picked him up. As Maggie and I both stood their looking at him, talking too him, I couldn’t help but cry. Here he was. A boy that we had been talking about adopting and we had finally met after flying halfway around the world.

Loving Joseph

As I held him, I could feel how different he was from holding Vivien. Cerebral palsy had made him a bright, interactive little boy with all the appropriate mental capacities, yet unable to control his body. His huge, happy eyes communicate a joy beyond his disability. We spent some time with just him in Edith’s office. Maggie made him laugh and I continued to cry. It was already a trip of so much emotion.

After some time, it was lunch time and we got to feed Joseph some rice and beans. Can you imagine what lunch time is like for 56 kids with disabilities? While some can self-feed, many (like Joseph) need assistance. He continued to laugh while Maggie blew bubbles with a bubble gun we had brought. As we fed him, he would cough about every third spoonful. I could tell he had some swallowing difficulty, but he seemed to manage.

Bubbles at Home of Hope

We returned again the next day, this time doing a brief physical on Joseph. Since Isaac is a doctor, he was able to sign some of the forms we needed for the adoption. Our stay that day was shorter and it was hard to leave Joseph. I think leaving him to lie on the mat when we left was the hardest. CP is a terrible disease that makes a person a prisoner in their own body. Still, we knew we’d be back. This whole encounter confirmed all the more why we wanted to adopt Joseph in the first place.

Maggie:

When I went to Uganda I had lots of fun but at first I was really nervous, scared and felt homesick. When I first arrived, I just wanted to go home. Part of it was jetlag I know, because the next day I was feeling a bit better. However, when the actual work started of going to the clinic and actually meeting the people of Uganda and serving them, my heart changed.

Countin

The first night we counted pills and got ready for the clinics. Our first experience was church on Sunday. We went to one of the services and then in the second one I helped with the kids. One sweet little girl actually fell asleep on my lap. 

The first day we had clinics, where people came from miles around to receive medical care and medication. I poured a lot of cough syrup that day while my dad helped evaluate patients. When I snuck away from pouring cough syrup and measuring it, I’d play with the kids whose parents were getting help. 

Giving my Tesimony

Brenda

On our last day of clinic I shared my testimony in one of the services they held for those who came which was also an amazing experience.

Brenda

I also got to meet Brenda. One of the days I was in clinic I came down and saw Dad crying and hugging who I thought was a a random patient. I didn’t realize that it was Brenda until I came up to him and asked. He said, “This is Brenda.” Brenda is our girl we have been sponsoring for several years at an orphanage. She is so sweet.  I gave her a hug and she called me sissy. We got to spend time with her later as we got to visit Destiny Orphanage and I was able to see where she lived. We also went on a shopping trip with Dad together.

After the missions trip we went to stay with our cousins Rachel and Isaac. From there we went to Jinja to see Home of Hope, Edith and to meet Joseph.

The drive to Home of Hope it was pretty. Jinja is a beautiful area of Uganda. As we were driving up I started getting butterflies in my stomach. I felt nervous and even sick to my stomach. I know a lot of people have cried when they see Home of Hope and that it can be overwhelming. As we pulled up Dad asked me if I wanted to stay in the car for a bit. I wanted to say I would but I heard Edith and the others coming out giving the traditional Ugandan welcome call. It is a high pitched sound almost like yodeling. I decided to get out and I let Dad go first I talked with my little cousin Ezra. When I came in it wasn't as overwhelming as I'd expected. I'd been prepped so much that it was almost easier than I thought it would be.

I met a lot of the kids as Edith showed us around I noticed there was one little boy that I wanted to play with. I kept on playing with him and when I asked Edith which little boy was Joseph, she said it was him! He was so cute. I had played with him for a little while and I knew that Dad wanted to spend time with him so I let him. I could see him getting teary eyed so I gave him a little time alone with Joseph and decided to wander and play with the other kids more too.

We had brought some gifts so I gave out some of them to the kids. I looked in our gifts and there was a bubble blower and I brought it outside and all the kids loved the bubble blower. They had a blast and so did I.

After the bubbles I wanted to come back in and spend some more time with Dad and Joseph so we did in Edith's office. He was giggling some of the time and he reminded me of Vivien with the noises he was making. He was so cute and we had such a sweet time with him.

I think what the hardest part of meeting him was knowing that he was a 3 year old boy inside who may be able to think clearly but not be able to express it with his body. It felt sad to me that there was a three year old boy inside his body who was bouncing around wanting to play and couldn't.

I'd seen these documentaries of kids with cerebral palsy who would try to communicate through different parts of their body. There was a little girl who could tap out things with her toe on a computer and she could express that she was sometimes sad that she couldn't do what others did or talk like others did and she at times felt trapped. It made me sad to think that this could be the case for Joseph.

We only got to spend a couple of days with Joseph. I'd tried to spend time and interact with him, but I felt like we didn't have as much time to bond as I had wanted.

I really hope that next time I can bond with him a lot more. I'm excited because we are planning to go back and see him next year and I can hardly wait to see my beloved Uganda and see Joseph again. I loved Uganda and told Dad I wanted to live there. I also can't wait to bring him home and have him forever.

Maggie, Ezra, Joseph and Aaron

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