Adoption Saga part 7 Crossing the Jordan and taking Risks

Spring Chicks at Grandma's

Spring (2017) was coming quickly and we were continuing to pray about where to adopt from. It seemed clear that God was working to bring us together with Edith and it certainly seemed like he was opening doors to adopt from Uganda, in my mind.

Todd is a wise man. He thinks things through, is careful of risk and wants to be cautious before he makes a decision. He completely believed that God brought us together with Edith to help Home of Hope establish a US presence.  But as I said before he was hesitant about a Ugandan adoption. We had been warned specifically about Ugandan adoptions, and how difficult they are. We'd heard of adoptions where people put a lot of money forward and then the adoption was halted or completely stopped, and others where the parent ended up being responsible for the child but unable to bring them home because of complications. The government system is far from streamlined and there are so many hurdles.

What he didn't want to happen, was to use the money God has given us to adopt, have an adoption halted and then have that money be wasted and unable to be used for another child. He also didn't want to rush into something. Adopting from Uganda seemed like a big risk.

My heart was still drawn to Ugandan adoption and Joseph and I really felt like if God was behind it, it was a risk that we could take. So we kept praying.

I had talked several times with Myriam, the lady from the adoption agency we were planning on working through. I felt confident that she was knowledgeable about the process and though she very strongly warned us about the risks and complications, she felt fairly confident that Joseph was adoptable because of the "exceptional circumstance" clause we had heard about before. I thought maybe if Todd was able to talk with her as well it might speed things up so we set up a meeting with her that ended up needing to be a phone conversation because of our crazy schedule. The kids were home and we had the conversation in our room just to be able to avoid distractions.

I was hopeful and expectant that this conversation would move Todd's heart to be willing to move forward with the possibility of adoption Joseph and but it ended up having the opposite effect. Myriam was again clear about the risks and complications and as she shared with Todd, he told me afterwards that he felt even more strongly that it wasn't a risk we should take. He wanted to be wise.

After he went downstairs, I remember specifically leaning back on our brown love-seat in our room, with a few tears talking to God. I truly felt like adopting Joseph was God's will for us, and even felt confident that it would happen, but I wondered if it was going to take until the following September when Todd and Maggie took their mission trip Uganda, for him to change his mind and it just seemed so far off. I said to God, "You have to give him a word Lord. Please give him a word." I didn't want to wait that long.

A few hours later that afternoon during Viv's nap Todd and I had an appointment with some of her therapists in Bellevue and we were in the car by ourselves with no kids, and able to have a conversation. He smiled at me and began to tell me a story.

I knew that that evening Todd was going to be speaking to a youth group of a friend of ours. He was speaking from Joshua 1 about being strong and courageous. He was planning on talking about about how when the Israelites crossed the Red Sea, God gave them a clear path. He opened it up and they walked through. But when the Israelites crossed over the Jordan river into the promised land, God had them line up, and move forward when there was no clear path. It wasn't until they started walking and the feet of the priests actually touched the water that the Jordan parted. In addition to this, it was the time of the year when the Jordan was overflowing it's banks. It was a huge risk and even danger to try to cross over when it was flooding.  Even if it was what God had promised.

Todd told me that he was planning on talking with the youth about doing courageous, strong risky things for God. About not being satisfied with the status quo but being willing to take a risk in obedience to Him.  As he was preparing to teach, God said to him, "you are teaching this to these kids - but are you willing to do it yourself? Are you willing to take a risk and move forward with this adoption because I ask you to?"

Todd said he felt like adopting from Uganda was like crossing the Jordan when there was no clear path. And not just no clear path, but when it was overflowing it's banks.  It was clear that God was reminding him that He needed to do this in regard to this adoption.  I couldn't believe it when he told me he was willing to move forward in obedience to God, despite the risk.  I love that I am married to a man who is wise and who isn't easily persuaded (even by his wife in this case) but listens to God and responds when God speaks.

The other thing that was just beautiful and sweet - a little "extra" from God was the fact that when we were married, the theme of our wedding, the theme of our future marriage and life was "entering the promised land." God had given us so many Scriptures - separately and together throughout our life together having to do with entering the land that He had prepared for us - a future that He held. My Granny made the banner to the right that was in our wedding.  Once again, without even realizing it until afterwards, He was giving us this analogy when it came to adopting Joseph.

I wasted no time in calling the adoption agency and filling out the application! When I prayed "God give him a word" I didn't expect it to happen 2 hrs later. Sometimes God answers our prayers quickly and sometimes we have to wait. I had faith that He would answer but I had no idea how suddenly.

After we called the adoption agency, things got underway quickly. Everyone talks about a "paperwork pregnancy" and how much there is do do and accomplish in an overseas adoption. I was expecting it, but still wasn't prepared for how many hours and hours of work there was.  I pretty much spent every spare moment of downtime in our summer on paperwork.  We still scheduled fun things with the kids and trips, but anytime we weren't doing something already scheduled, I knew I  needed to be at the computer.   I am grateful for sabbaths and I tried to be good about taking them, but it felt like a lot of pressure for quite a few months because anytime I had a to spare from doing family / children household stuff - I knew I needed to spend it on paperwork. It felt like there was no end and it even carried over into the fall.

The one part about the paperwork that both Todd and I actually enjoyed was writing out and answering questions about our lives. Sort of a life-story book of ourselves, which was both reflective and cathartic (as Todd described it). Both of us loved to write so there was at least one part that we appreciated doing.

Thankfully near the end of summer and in early fall most of it was accomplished.  The fall was full for Todd with putting together a board and creating a 501c3 to help Home of Hope as well as working on a fundraiser. Both of us had a ton of paperwork, but I focused mainly on adoption and he focused on Home of Hope as a whole. Edith came to visit to do more fundraising for Home of Hope in November and it was wonderful to see what God did.  Todd and the board put together an amazing fundraiser. (photos here in Part 4) 

In September came Todd and Maggie's never-to-be-forgotten trip to Uganda. During these almost three weeks, I didn't have my regular babysitter/helper with Maggie gone. I am so glad for the grandparents who helped out so much as well as Bestie, who helps tutor the kids a few times a week. I had anticipated for it to be difficult but to my surprise, I actually ended up enjoying my time more than I thought I would. We had simplified our schedule during that time out of necessity and it was so great to be home more and feel a bit caught up on home life things. I love being at home with the kids and it seems like we are always running from place to place.  I appreciated the slower pace.

The most stressful part was that the trip happened during Viv's first week of school, but as I have written in our first post (Part I of our adoption story), it went beautifully.  I went with her every day for the first week and arranged different things for the rest of the kids each day.  

One of my favorite parts about those three weeks was how much my relationship with Silas grew. I depended on him, but we also had a lot of fun together. He and Maggie entertain each other most of the time, and are rather inseparable. They are such good friends and they get so silly together, but with Maggie gone, Silas and I really bonded.  When the little girls go to bed, normally Todd and I talk and Maggie and Silas hang out.  But during this time, Silas and I just hung out together, played cards and enjoyed being together.  He told me that he was even a little bit sorry to see them come home because in his own words and way, he told me that he really liked our closeness.  I love him so much. In addition to this, right before they left for the trip, we had some difficult things happen circumstantially. We expected warfare and we definitely went through some. One of them was a huge struggle for Silas that he and I got to work through emotionally and spiritually.  He came out on the other side, hearing from God in a significant way, closer to Him and wanting more of Him.    I loved what God did in his life and how He spoke to him.  

The other bonus of the trip was just the sense of fulfillment I felt and unusual satisfaction that I took from doing my little part to make the (comparatively small) sacrifice at home so that Todd and Maggie could do what they did. They absolutely were thrilled in serving the people of Uganda in both a medical and a teaching capacity. The work they were doing was beautiful and they met God there in a new way. Maggie loved the Ugandan people and told me afterwards that she wished she could live there. They loved meeting Brenda, who we have been sponsoring for years, and the orphanage.  Maggie flourished in a way I have never seen her flourish before. And Todd  told me he felt so blessed and excited to be there. He loves helping people medically and practically. Meeting Joseph at the end of the trip was incredibly significant. You can see in the picture on the left that Todd was trying to hold back tears.  But I will let them write it in their own words in part 8 to come....

Adoption Saga Part VI

Again as I am telling the back story of our adoption process, we also have a lot going on in the present (January 2018). Many of you know that I just got back from meeting Joseph for the first time, which was amazing and emotional and I can't wait to share it with you.  I am going to stick to the order but I also want to post frequently to get this blog up to speed, so here is the next installment back to the spring of 2017.

Adoption Saga Part Six  (Part I Here)

The spring of 2017 felt very busy. We lead busy lives but as the time drew near and we were making preparations for Edith's coming, there just seemed to be so much to do and I felt like the word busy was an understatement. We planned on hosting two pizza nights at our home to give people the flexibility to come when they needed to. Todd spoke with local churches that we are in contact with and we were able to set up time for Edith to speak at Redeemer Eastside the Sunday she was here.  We also had meetings for her with friends and leaders.  She was flying in on a Thursday and leaving the following Monday.

Never having met her, we weren't sure what to expect - and yet we were expectant that God was working. Even though Todd was still thinking a bit about adopting from China, he was open to us talking to Edith about the possibility of adopting from her home and at least having a conversation about it.

We were also hopeful to be able to raise a lot of money for the overcrowded Home of Hope and did what we could to spread the word. We had several meetings for her, a few speaking engagements and places for her to attend. Looking at the schedule the most time we had to just sit down and talk with her was right after she arrived. When she came Thursday afternoon, we loved her right away and she loved meeting our family, but what surprised her the most was Vivien. She didn't know that we had a child with special needs and it was clear that she was enamored with Vivien from the moment she met her.

Edith didn't know that we were going to approach her about adoption, but what we didn't know (and found out later) was that Edith was planning and praying about asking us something as well. Edith was looking for someone to start a board for Home of Hope. Someone who would establish a US presence for Home of Hope and give a means for a 501c3 status. She didn't know us but she had been praying and asking God if we were the ones that she should ask. She said that when she saw Vivien, she knew we were the ones.

The amazing thing is, as the weekend went on Todd was starting to talk and think about offering to help somehow with Home of Hope here in the US. We just weren't sure about all that would entail.

But as we sat down to chat that afternoon, we heard more of Edith's story. I know that I have chronicled some of it here but I will summarize again for you. Edith has several children, but when her son Derek was just a baby he contracted a sickness that left him with hydrocephalus, cerebral palsy and severe special needs. As you may have heard, in Uganda when children have special needs, they are considered curses. Many think they are demon possessed and often the mothers and families and those who care for them are shunned and looked down upon. Many told her she should send him away to a home but Edith loved her son and cared for him. The story is much longer, full of miracles and God's working, but eventually Edith started caring for other children with special needs. Just a few. But then people started dropping off children and babies with special needs at her house - abandoning them on the grounds. Home of Hope was born from this.

We were talking more specifically about her son Derek. He lived 14 years and she loved him dearly. She shared more about his life and his death. Even the circumstances surrounding Derek's death, were quite amazing and miraculous. God's comfort was clear and He showed her his love through it. But as we were talking about Derek's death, I was asking her how long ago it was. He died in 2014 and I asked her about the time of year. She said it was September of 2014. I inquired more about the date and as we talked we realized that the day of Derek's funeral, the day they buried him, was the day that Vivien was born.

We of sat back in awe and realized that God was connecting us inexplicably with Edith, Derek and Home of Hope in many ways. After she told much of her story, we sat down with her and began to tell her some of our story of praying to meet her and a bit of the backstory of God talking with us separately and together about the possibility of adoption. Todd came to the conclusion of our story and asked her if she had ever considered allowing one of the children from Home of Hope to be adopted and would she think about adopting one to us.

Edith sat back and said, "No one has ever asked to adopt one of my kids before. God has spoken to you and now I need to pray and ask Him to speak to me about this." But she told us that even when we were sharing with her, she kept getting a picture in her head of the face of a little three year old boy with cerebral palsy at her home named Joseph.

As the weekend went on and Edith spoke several times, telling the story of how the Lord moved her to begin home of hope. The last day, before she left, I asked her what she thought about the possibility and she said that she had been praying and definitely felt a peace about moving forward with pursuing adoption, when we were ready. We also told her when she asked that we would be willing to do what we could to give Home of Hope a U.S. presence.

After she went home from Uganda, we continued to pray about the next steps. While it seemed clear that God was leading toward helping Home of Hope as a whole, forming a board and moving forward toward that, Todd still was hesitant with jumping in and beginnning a Ugandan adoption.....