Merry Christmas from the Merrys!
We hope that you’ve had a beautiful year, but we know that life has its ups and downs and we pray that God has brought you through them with grace and strength. We haven’t written a Christmas letter for a couple of years as last year at this time we were definitely more down than up. Bear with us in the length of this letter as we have two years instead of one to catch you up on - and check out the next six posts to see our pictures from 2010-2011. We are grateful for what God has brought us through and what He has taught us, but we are glad to be in a new season.
In February of 2010 we were blessed with a new little Merry, Lucie Joy. We love her so much and now she is toddling around, copying her big sister and brother and saying new words every day. She is so delightful, makes us smile, and if you see her anytime soon, ask her to do her eyebrow trick as it is very entertaining!
Silas will be 5 in February and is interested in how things work. He is always asking questions and has a very scientific mind. He loves playing instruments and you will find him strumming his guitar, or pounding on his drum set with lots of enthusiasm. He is always asking, “Is this rhythm?” He also loves helping his little sister. He is like his daddy – serving and meeting her needs before she even knows she has them.
Maggie is 7 now and loves school. It is fun to watch her thirst for learning. In September, we joined HIS Ministry Co-op (Classical Christian) and have really enjoyed it. She enjoys her ballet class and is a happy girl, who can make songs out of anything. She is amazing with her little sister; always making her smile.
Over the past couple years, Maggie has been praying that she could be a flower girl in a wedding. One month ago, God answered her prayers, as she and her cousin Mishayla were flower girls in Kevin and Andrea’s wedding. Silas got to be the ring bearer as well. We are so happy for Kevin and Andrea. We loved the wedding, and love the couple even more!
Molly is loving life right now, enjoying having Todd home more, spending lots of time cleaning (who’d have thought with 3 little ones) and having fun spending time with friends, writing, reading, having dinner parties and cyber-stalking her favorite author and speaker Lisa Bevere, all over the internet. Lately she’s been running 3 miles several times a week as well, trying to impress her husband with her discipline….
Todd loves his new job at Medic One. He has been able to work on some busy trucks throughout the County, and seen plenty of action. He loves the work and always enjoys helping people when they are at their greatest point of need. Being at Mars Hill has also been a great experience for him. He really appreciates the guys in our Community Group and our times together every Tuesday night. Todd has also been busy with homeschooling the kids. We’ve been so blessed by the co-op we are a part of and it makes learning fun and exciting for the kids.
As a family, we are grateful to be in this season, but we have a story to tell of why we are so grateful to be where we are at.
Late in 2009, God put on Todd’s heart to think about applying with South King County Medic One to be a paramedic. Todd has always enjoyed the medical side of firefighting and after much prayer and counsel he decided to go ahead and take the test. As this is a very coveted job we figured that it was a long shot, and if Todd came out near the top, it would be clear that it was God directing. Well to make a long story short, he tested, interviewed in the spring of 2010 and came out #1 out of 170 applicants! To say that God made it clear was an understatement.
We were very honored and excited, but knew that with this job came 10 crazy months of paramedic training school, with a large initial pay cut. Both of us knew that it would be tough, but we also knew that God had given him this job. We wanted to be obedient, and we knew that on the other side was a great job with super hours, good pay and something that as Molly put, “Todd was made for” as he loves medicine, and serving and helping others in this way.
We knew that it would be tough, but we had no idea what God had in store for us. As soon as Todd began his schooling, Molly began to struggle with a lack of sleep. The issue got worse and worse; the doctor diagnosed it as anxiety. This was definitely a stress on our marriage and family life. The insomnia began to take its toll on Molly, eventually leading to many doctor and naturopath visits as well as counseling sessions. Still nursing, and with 3 little ones at home to take care of, and desperately wanting to be a good support to Todd, the situation seemed to get worse and worse and feel more and more hopeless. Christmas of 2010 was one of the most difficult days of the whole year for us. God was bringing us through a dark time spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally.
Thankfully, although we know that this was hard on us, we really felt God’s hand on our kids at the time. They seemed happy and well adjusted through it all, and we are so grateful for all the grandparents, who helped in numerous ways and were such a great support to us; taking care of the kids, making Todd’s lunches, opening up their homes. Molly had three older women in her life who were especially helpful and supportive through prayers and encouragement as well. We were blessed with friends and a whole community of people who loved us through this hard time.
As spring rolled around things started getting a little bit better. Todd’s hours lightened up a bit, Molly started sleeping a little bit better and we began to feel more hopeful. By summer, with graduation approaching, we were able to look back and see God’s hand in protecting us and keeping us through it all. And this fall has been an amazing time. We felt like we emerged from those 10 months a bit traumatized and shell-shocked, blinking at the light of day and so grateful for what God brought us through.
Molly: God showed me so many things. First of all, this gave us a real compassion and sympathy for those who go through anxiety or depression. I had always thought that when someone was struggling with anxiety, it meant they were worried about something, but I had no idea what medical anxiety is like, and it was different than I thought. There were times when I felt fine emotionally, but physically, my body was doing crazy things and it felt so out of control. Sometimes there are periods of our life when the pain or fear or whatever it may be is so strong that it affects our bodies. It is easy to come up with quick fixes and easy answers. While there are answers out there, there is definitely a process of healing. God has shown us some things about this process and given us a real love and compassion for those who are struggling in this way.
Second, fear is a horrible thing. Scripture tells us over 100 times not to fear. We sometimes rename fear by calling it caution, or discernment, or even responsibility or protection. Personally, I had turned my responsibilities into fears that I wouldn’t be able to do it all. I was trying to be “responsible” but had confused my responsible righteousness, with Jesus righteousness. As I realized how bad fear is, I tried harder “not to fear”. But trying harder isn’t the answer. God’s love truly is the only thing that really casts out fear. I remember feeling so far from God, so unloved by Him and crying out to Him about how I felt. That very night after I’d been gut honest with Him in telling him that I was having a hard time believing that he really loved me, He spoke to me in a powerful way, through a sermon about how His love for me is greater than any fear. My worth is not based on my performance as a wife or a mother. I knew that in my head, but I desperately needed him to move it to my heart. For both my spiritual and physical health, I needed to truly know that I was righteous because of Jesus, not because of what I do. It was one of the most powerful times I have ever experienced. I didn’t come away from church that night and immediately start sleeping again. God doesn’t always offer us a quick fix or way out of our trial. But He sees us through them. And it was the start of a direction that I needed to go, spiritually and emotionally. And if there is anything that God showed me, it is that I really am righteous. That is the amazing thing about Jesus and grace!
As many of you know, in October of 2009 we began attending a new church – City Church in Kirkland. We had a wonderful year and a half there, with God teaching us so many new things. In April of 2011 we felt God’s leading to start attending Mars Hill Church, in Bellevue. We love both of these churches. Our time at City Church was completely directed by God. It is interesting, because as we were going through our darkest time, the pastor of City Church was also going through his darkest time, as his father and founder of their church was dying of cancer. The powerful sermon that Molly spoke of earlier, was the last sermon our pastor preached before his father died, not knowing what was going to happen. God used his incredibly hope-filled and real, honest messages of pain at a time when we were experiencing pain and needing hope. We know God had us there for a reason. And we know that God has moved us on to Mars Hill for a reason as well. We love our new church and are completely inspired and blown away by God’s grace and the honesty of the teaching. We’re looking forward to serving and are enjoying hosting a community group in our house at this time, and helping in the children’s ministry.
We are also enjoying our Pastor’s new book, “Real Marriage”. He is going to be doing a series on this, and as we are reading it, we feel like God is really doing some great things in our friendship. Not just our marriage or responsibility to each other as husband and wife, but in our friendship with each other, just enjoying the other person, having fun together and valuing one another as friends. Sometimes we get caught up in the “responsibilities” or duties of marriage and forget that God gave us to each other as friends. It has been wonderful.
As you can see, though it’s been a hard year, we are so grateful for where God has us now and the season we are in. We did do some fun things outside of school. Last spring we were able to house swap with some friends and spend a week down in sunny CA. It was probably one of our favorite family vacations ever, and the kids are always asking to go back. We had some great camping trips with family and friends, a visit to Pomeroy to see Gran and all the cousins, got to go to the ocean as a family and take fun excursions with the kids to zoos, Wild Waves, roller skating and the fair. Molly was involved with a great mom’s group last year as well.
We are also looking forward to another little Merry making their debut in July of next year! Molly’s daily run has slowed down a bit and she is feeling a little queasy and tired, but in good health otherwise and we are so excited about this new addition to our family. It looks like just one, though Maggie and Silas were hoping for a boy and a girl! They are thrilled at the idea of a new sibling.
Until next year, remember what we are celebrating. Jesus’ arrival on earth is truly good news. The grace that He has for us is incredible. We know that we are not righteous because of what we do, or our performance, but because of what He has already done for us through his death and resurrection.
We pray for you and think of you often. Have a wonderful time celebrating Jesus birth this year!
Love,
The Merrys
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