Adoption in the time of Coronavirus

Once again, I am remiss in updating this blog. I can’t believe that it’s been three months since I last posted. A lot can happen in three months and the world has pretty much turned upside down and nothing is the same thanks to covid-19, the coronavirus.

My last post was in mid-February and we were hopeful for a g-tube for Joseph. Because of his NG tube he gained about 10 lbs over the course of a couple months which was ⅓ of his weight. He has also grown length wise as well so his body was really needing nutrition and the tube feeding was a huge blessing. Because of the mold issue in the operating room at Children’s Hospital in Seattle, and because of his anatomy being so difficult that an ER visit was required every time we put it back in, we made an appointment at Mary Bridge and went through all the preliminary appointments and were scheduled for surgery March 18th. However, Children’s called with an opening on March 9th and we snapped them up right away, despite the fact that it meant that Todd and I didn't get to spend our anniversary together. We have spent other anniversaries in the hospital however and we did celebrate earlier. We were so thankful that everything went well. He spent two nights in the hospital and came home with no NG tube and we were so thankful

We didn’t know how close we got to not having his surgery for months, as shortly after that, elective surgeries were canceled due to the coronavirus. In retrospect we look back with gratefulness for this.

We were also getting close to having Joseph start school. We received a loaner wheelchair and with the g-tube surgery, everything was in place and the school was just finishing up his evaluations and getting ready to do his IEP (individualized educational plan). School was not to be, as you know and Vivien came home from school as well. We were especially disappointed for Joseph. We knew that there are so many things he was going to learn communication-wise, as well as therapies that he would be able to get daily, special equipment that he could use, and all the benefits that come with school. Both Joseph and Vivien continued on with their private therapy for a while until even that was closed.

Thankfully, we were able to do some things with him at home. One thing that has been especially fun for him is a sling that we have for Vivien that hangs from the ceiling and allows him to bear weight on his feet and have some sort of control over looking around and turning. It also strengthens his head as he has to hold it up while he is in it. The first time we went in it, he went completely crazy with joy and we put on some music and he danced around like a little marionette. He was thrilled. We have also played with a ball, kicking it back and forth to him as well and he loved that, most likely having seen soccer in Africa.

Vivien is doing well and though we all had bad colds in March, everyone has stayed well and healthy. Her caregiver, Rhiana has continued to come a few times a week even throughout this time and she is so wonderful with her.  The kids have taken to a new form of entertainment by taking Vivien and hiding her when I leave the room for a minute.  When I come back in she's not where I left her.  I have found her in the bathtub (on blankets of course) and even in the laundry basket, which Viv actually thought was pretty funny.  Our quarantine craziness has reached new levels.

However, I personally feel like God has worked in our lives in a rather amazing way. As I wrote before, our first couple months with Joseph were incredibly difficult, both because of my struggle with insomnia as well as the difficulty of just caring for his day to day needs, combined with all of the other necessary things that happen in a day to make our now 8 person family run. As I wrote before, I kind of felt like I was drowning for a while and life felt very dark. As I began to sleep better, I felt more hope and a little more positive. Even Joseph getting his NG tube and now his g-tube has been a huge help in the time it takes to care for him during the day.

A couple of things happened though that I felt like were so clearly God’s working in our lives. The first had to do with covid-19. I had been expecting that when Joseph started school, it would be both wonderful for him, and it would also free up some time for Todd and and I would feel a little less overwhelmed than I was feeling.

In early March, I remember thinking about the season in our life right after Iva was born in 2012. We were enjoying her and our life was busy but not overwhelming. It was just a good season. Shortly after that we became pregnant with Vivien, which involved so much drama. After things sort of settled down with her we felt the call to adopt and there has been more drama in our life. I’m a girl who likes a little drama. I don’t like it boring. But as I was thinking about that season with Iva, I remember someone asking me for prayer requests at that time, and responding something to the effect of, “I’ll have to think about it. Things are going pretty well right now.” As I thought about that in mid-March of this year, I breathed a tearful and pleading prayer to God. I asked Him to allow the next season of our life to be boring. Just for a little while. “Lord, could you make it boring?” I felt so incredibly exhausted and done with drama.

I

Home Movie Watching

expected that things would feel less stressful once Joseph went to school but that was not to be. However, as church, home school co-ops, music and sports activities started canceling right and left, I started feeling a bit of relief. Then as even play dates could not happen and we were told to stay-at-home, I was almost gleeful. To be told to stay home and just be with our family was sort of a dream come true at the time. I'm a social person, but as I get older, I love hanging out with my kids and it honestly seems like with the flurry of life I don’t get to as much as I want.   I didn’t expect this at all. My stress level went down and I started sleeping better and better. Although life at home with a family of 6 kids isn’t ever “boring” truly, life has slowed down and I am thankful for God’s answer to my prayer, in a way that I certainly didn’t expect.  We've been able to do things together like walk at the park (when it is open), play pickleball in our driveway, watch home movies, and just hang out.

Vivien, Joseph and Iva "practicing "
standing....

I would never wish what is happening to our world on anyone. The sickness and death that some are facing, the unemployment, the hardships of having kids at home, especially for working parents, and the financial difficulties that are coming along with all that is happening in our world are not good things. But God does work all things out together for good for those who love him and are called according to His purposes. And this has just been a really good time for our family. It has been the reset button that we have needed.

In addition to this we are really getting to know Joseph and his needs and quirks, his attitudes and his capabilities, his personality and what makes him happy and sad in a way that probably would not have happened if he had immediately gone to school. We can see God’s hand in this also. We are working with a rehab doctor getting him off the medicine he was on as well and that has been a challenge. It is good to be able to do it at home and recognize his habits and how he responds.

Vivien is doing well at home although she is fairly happy anywhere. We are thankful that her caregiver Rihana is still able to come during this time. She is wonderful with Vivien and even though she is not responsible for Joseph, he loves her too.

Onee prayer request we have is about a waiver that we are trying to get for Joseph. Vivien has a wonderful caregiver who comes a few times a week paid for by Medicaid. We've applied for Joseph as well and been approved as eligible for DDA and can now apply for the waiver. There is a limited amount of waivers the state gets and we will be applying for one as soon as we are given a case manager. There are lots of applications and not everyone gets one. It could take up to 4 months from when we apply to hear back as well. Can you pray with us that we would be able to get the waiver for Joseph to have some in-home care and that it would be expedient? When we needed equipment for Viv when she was born, so many of you prayed and we felt like God did a miracle with insurance and her pulse oximeter. We are asking Him for favor for this waiver as well. We should have an interview about it in the next few weeks.

Celebrating Passover with Grandma Online

Overall we are thankful that though the world is changing all around us and life looks different, God has used it in our lives. The rest of the kids continue to home school and just finished up co-op for the year. They are missing their friends, but thanks to text and messenger and Netflix parties they can still talk, watch movies, play the piano, play video games and even cook with their friends. Silas and his friend Seth have been cooking together each afternoon. Who knew? Lucie and Iva play a horse video game with one of their friends while chatting on messenger and Maggie has spent a lot of time with friends online as well. Such a strange way to have social interaction but it works. We’re looking forward to real human contact eventually and are hopeful to be able to see friends this summer.

Happy spring to you and yours and thanks for reading!