As of today, 8/22 we have 12 more days till Vivien’s due date. We are waiting in expectation for her arrival. Her last ultrasound showed good growth for a baby with T18 and pregnancy seems to be progressing fine..
During our journey of learning about and preparing for Vivien, I’ll be quick to admit that while I spoke the creedal statements of God’s faithfulness and grace, my heart was not always there. I did not feel His faithfulness like I hoped (and maybe that was the root of my disappointment). I’m reminded of CS Lewis’ statement, “He is good, but He is not tame”. He develops this further in writing on his wife’s death when he calls God the great “Vivesector” (A Grief Observed). Wow, strong language for the God of grace. While I’ve not gone through such a tragedy, I have felt at times like He was cutting into my heart. But there were tears of repentance, worship and gratefulness. I love Him and He has given us a gift in Vivien.
We recently had a foretaste of that gift as we visited Krissy (link) and her family. Krissy is 14 years-old and has full T18. Her parents were told she would not live long after birth and there was no point in providing medical care. I’m sure those same professionals would be remiss to see her now – yes with limitations, but a girl with personality, joy and very well-loved by her family.
My favorite point of our time together was when one of Krissy’s older brother (she has four) came home. In his mid-twenties, he comes in the room and gets down on the floor, where Krissy is sitting. She begins to smile as he whispers in her ear and kisses her on the cheek. Their bond is heart-warming and still brings tears when I think about it. Krissy’s parents were so gracious in their support and encouragement. That interaction spoke volumes – that they had parented their kids well through this challenge. Loving our kids well through this journey is our desire.
As they re-lived their adventure with Krissy, they told about a change in their perspective when she was six months old. Every day, they had been asking “Is this the day we may lose her?”. The toll of asking this question came to a point of near break-down. Krissy’s dad then determined “We’re going to stop mourning her death and start living her life”. With that, they began teaching her to walk and communicate. When she was four, she started school like her brothers had and has come to have many friends – just like any other 14 year-old girl. I think it’s this perspective that has contributed to her relative health and vitality.
As we are nearing the due date, there is a tangible excitement in the air. Thank you for your prayers and support. Our family and friends have been amazing through this time. I know God is gracious and I look forward to more evidence of His grace through this journey.
We recently had a foretaste of that gift as we visited Krissy (link) and her family. Krissy is 14 years-old and has full T18. Her parents were told she would not live long after birth and there was no point in providing medical care. I’m sure those same professionals would be remiss to see her now – yes with limitations, but a girl with personality, joy and very well-loved by her family.
My favorite point of our time together was when one of Krissy’s older brother (she has four) came home. In his mid-twenties, he comes in the room and gets down on the floor, where Krissy is sitting. She begins to smile as he whispers in her ear and kisses her on the cheek. Their bond is heart-warming and still brings tears when I think about it. Krissy’s parents were so gracious in their support and encouragement. That interaction spoke volumes – that they had parented their kids well through this challenge. Loving our kids well through this journey is our desire.
As they re-lived their adventure with Krissy, they told about a change in their perspective when she was six months old. Every day, they had been asking “Is this the day we may lose her?”. The toll of asking this question came to a point of near break-down. Krissy’s dad then determined “We’re going to stop mourning her death and start living her life”. With that, they began teaching her to walk and communicate. When she was four, she started school like her brothers had and has come to have many friends – just like any other 14 year-old girl. I think it’s this perspective that has contributed to her relative health and vitality.
As we are nearing the due date, there is a tangible excitement in the air. Thank you for your prayers and support. Our family and friends have been amazing through this time. I know God is gracious and I look forward to more evidence of His grace through this journey.
