What if I feel no Joy?
What do we do am not feeling righteous, peaceful or joyful? It doesn’t necessarily mean we are in sin. Joy and sorrow can be and often are mixed. Tim Keller states that opposite of joy is not grief – but hopelessness. Jesus grieved and suffered and looking to Him shows us what to do when we are not feeling joy. He experienced deep stress and grief in Gethsemane. He asked His Father for a way out. When it was evident that the cross and suffering were ahead, He obeyed. If we try to get out of our suffering prematurely, we are not in obedience. The Message paraphrase says, Jas 1:3-4 “You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.” We go through difficult times with the Holy Spirit as well, asking for comfort and strength.
Jesus, for the “joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame.” Jesus still pursued joy, even in the midst of suffering. He went to the cross in pursuit of joy and obedience to His Father, in the power of the Holy Spirit. Incredibly, even in His suffering; He still sought first the Kingdom of God. We will go through suffering to get there. It’s not if we suffer, but when. But if we want to be like Jesus, we need to continue to pursue joy even in our suffering.
There is a time that we must do right even when we have no joy. Doing our duty is good. But it is not where we need to stay. Seeking joy in the Holy Spirit is both a process and a hope. C.S. Lewis says, “Duty is a crutch for love.” There are times a crutch is necessary, but a healthy person does not live their whole life on crutches. Service and sacrificial duty is not wrong but it’s not healthy to permanently rely on duty. I can be in the process of working through difficult things with Jesus while I am serving or ministering to others. But if I am at war and want to help my comrade, I will be of much less help if I am crippled, than if I have a whole, healthy body. This is true with our spirit and emotions as well. We come to Jesus broken. Sanctification is a process, but as He heals us, our emotions and spirit become whole and we experience joy.
Joyless duty is antithesis of the doctrine of regeneration. Duty by our own efforts, without the Holy Spirit is actually the antithesis of the gospel. The process of Jesus healing our brokenness inside will bring the outflow of His righteousness. Seeking to have the Kingdom of God inside will produce a changed heart.
There is a subtle lie that if we suffer or are sad or in pain that we are somehow more holy. Pain and poverty, sickness and persecution do not produce holiness anymore than health and riches, safety and comfort do. We can respond righteously or sinfully to all of these outward things. Holiness and the kingdom of God are inside of us. Sacrifice and service done out of out of joy instead of duty take the sting out. It’s not as big of a sacrifice to do something we love. It’s like being forced to eat ice cream. All of a sudden, it’s not a sacrifice anymore.
To follow Jesus example we see a “man of sorrows” (Is 53:3) but also One “anointed with joy”, more than anyone around Him (Ps 45:7). What would that look like? It’s no wonder people were so attracted to Jesus if He was the most joyful person around.
What if my problem is too overwhelming for joy?
Receiving the Kingdom of God through Holy Spirit doesn’t necessarily mean our circumstances change. Often Jesus changes our hearts. Joy follows when He changes our circumstances, our hearts or both. We are encouraged to ask for both in faith. He might change our circumstances, but He will change our hearts, as we submit to Him.
This fulfillment and happiness doesn’t mean that we can’t or won’t have negative emotions. These burdens are real and difficult. But as we pursue righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, Jesus says our burden will become light if we make it His. Mt 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
If Jesus says it is light, we can believe Him. If our faith is weak, we have the freedom to ask for help with our unbelief. There are two lies stemming from this unbelief. One is that we need to carry a burden or take responsibility for something that He never intended for us to carry. He may actually want us to get out of it, but we believe we can or should not. The enemy puts burdens on our back and whispers they are something we need to carry or be responsible for, when Jesus hasn’t asked us to carry them. Asking Jesus if the burden is one we are meant to carry is vital. The Holy Spirit will be faithful to answer (Jas 1:5.)
As for the burdens we can’t or know we shouldn’t get out of, we may believe a lie about God’s character, that He is giving us too much to bear. Truthfully, He may truly be giving us something too hard to bear… on our own. Jesus says, “Come to me”. As we come to Him trying to carry the burden by our own power, He tells us to let Him replace it with His yoke and His burden. He doesn’t say He is going to take away the burden altogether but as it becomes His, He will make it light. If we struggle with believing this we can relax. Jesus is an expert at helping us in our unbelief if we ask Him.
James E Wilder in the book, “Living from the Heart Jesus Gives You” makes the case that emotional and spiritual maturity is the ability to return to joy after going through difficulty. Lack of joy doesn’t mean we are in sin but simply that Jesus wants more for us and there is hope that the burden will become “light”. This is a process, but also a promise in His Word.
Let’s Get Personal & Practical
I personally have pursued an outward righteousness more than an inner one. I have rationalized away wrong attitudes or emotions of the heart because I am doing the right thing on the outside. This doesn’t mean we stop doing good works but it means Jesus has something MORE for us – and it’s actually easier. The more we ask the Holy Spirit to change our heart the more we find living righteously is a natural outflow of what’s going on in my relationship with Jesus, free of striving. Mt 12:45 says, “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.” We can only be actors for so long. We are only a “good man” when the kingdom of God is within us in Jesus’ righteous regeneration.
True peace and joy come from an inner knowing that you are connected relationally to Jesus by the Holy Spirit. There is nothing more fulfilling than this. True peace is a settled-ness inside. This joy comes from going before the face of Jesus and hearing His words to us personally through the Holy Spirit. When we have an undeniable experience with Him it causes us to have a joy that is (as Peter said) inexpressible.
Mike Wilkerson says in “Redemption”. “In Ps 131 David has calmed and quieted his soul in God’s presence’ there he rests… “Like a weaned child with it’s mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me” (v.2). He is satisfied just to be near the all-satisfying God, asking for nothing more than what is naturally enjoyed in his presence, for in God lies all his hope, his peace, his wisdom and fullness of joy.”
Jas 5:8b says “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” Jesus draws us, but that He is also pleased when we draw near to Him. This is where joy is found. Practically prioritizing our time so that we can “draw near” is seeking first the kingdom.
Several years ago I went through a miscarriage at 14 weeks. Todd and I experienced deep grief but at the same time, it caused us to re-evaluate our priorities. The things that seemed so important merely days before didn’t hold the same value. We decided that my kids would go to my Mom’s for one day out of the week and I would spend that time resting and seeking Jesus. It was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Much of my joy and my direction in life happen on those days when I am drawing near, spending time with the Holy Spirit, whether it is journaling, listening to a sermon, music, praying, or worshiping.
I hesitate to share the above, because it is easy to look at circumstances and say that’s not going to happen in your life. We may be at a stage in life where a lengthy amount of time seeking Jesus doesn’t seem practical or possible. The way each of us draws near may not look the same, but if we are seeking first His Kingdom, He is creative and will provide a way for us. He sees the heart. Jesus wants us to draw near and experience His Holy Spirit as we ask what it looks like in our own situation and stage of life.
In conclusion my questions are; do we pursue righteousness more than we pursue peace and joy? Are we taking any of the three of these things and trying to get them without dependence on the Holy Spirit? Do you see your walk with God as drudgery, or are you actively pursuing the ultimate fulfillment in Him by seeking His Kingdom first?
How beautiful is this, that our Father wants us to have His joy, peace and righteousness in our hearts? He wants us to be happy and to pursue that happiness in HIM, not our circumstances. Our relationship with Him will produce the fruit of the kingdom of God.
When I saw the things I was doing outwardly to achieve righteousness, instead of leaning on Jesus’ righteousness in me, I had a revelation. My heart needs to be changed. But I can’t. God knows I’ve tried. The “work” we do in changing our hearts can be summed up in one word. Dependence. As we press in to Jesus, we admit that we cannot do it and need His help. It sounds so simple and really it is. We ask him to change us. We ask the Holy Spirit for righteousness, peace and joy in Himself. He gives good gifts to His children (Lk 11:13) and I am grateful.
