Iva
Jo Dorothy Merry’s Birth Story
(Long Version)
Well
everyone says “every birth is different” and I guess this rings true in this
case. I have always known when it’s time
to go to the hospital and when my body is ready, but this one didn’t quite go
that way.
Iva’s
due date was Thursday the 19th of July. I had so many contractions – both regular and
Braxton-Hicks leading up to the labor that I had pretty much learned to ignore
everything. Maggie was 6 days early,
Silas 2 days early and Lucie, 9 days late, so I pretty much had no idea what to
expect as far as timing goes.
Saturday
the 14th, I had a lot of contractions, but until I actually put my
head down on my pillow, I wasn’t bothering to keep track. However, as I went to bed I noticed that they
did seem pretty regular so I began to time them. They were about 5-7 minutes apart. They were strong enough to keep me awake and
after an hour or so, I started to get excited thinking that this may be
it. Todd was at work so after an hour
and a half at about 12:30 or so, I called him.
He was pretty groggy and we decided to wait a bit longer before going in
or calling him back. I packed everything
up for myself and the kids and then laid back down for a while.
The
contractions were different, in that they weren’t terribly strong, just fairly
close together. In between, I was
feeling fairly normal and not too uncomfortable. On the one hand, they didn’t seem to be
getting worse, but on the other hand, this was my 4th baby, and I
didn’t want to be caught with them speeding up all of a sudden and having the
baby at home or on the road as you often hear about. The other factor, was that with Lucie, my
contractions, though strong, ended up being about 5-6 minutes apart right up
until she was born. So I figured at 2:00
am, after I’d had 3 hours of contractions at 5-7 minute apart, it was probably
time to go.
Todd
came home and we called his Dad to come and watch the kids. His mom, step-mom and my mom were all
dispatched to go to the hospital. I had
a friend who was going to come take pictures, but I didn’t want to call her in
the middle of the night unless I knew for sure.
We got to Labor and Delivery Triage around 3:00am. The nurse there checked me and found that I
was only at 3.5 cm. I was so
disappointed and felt rather bad for calling everyone. I had had 4 hrs of contractions 5 minutes or
so apart so you’d think I was really in labor.
I am convinced that I really was – but it just stopped. My contractions had slowed down considerably
since we got to the hospital. After
monitoring me for a while, the nurse suggested I walk for a bit and see if I
could get things going. I walked for 45
minutes and during that time, the contractions got stronger; as close as 2-3
minutes apart. My whole womb felt sore by
the time I was done walking. I was
sweaty tired and sore and my hips hurt, but after checking again I was still
only 4 cm dilated. I thought surely I’d
have moved more by then.
By
now I’d been up all night so the nurse suggested we get breakfast, walk again,
check again and decide what to do from there.
Todd and I ate as we walked again. The contractions got closer together again –
about 3 minutes, but when I was checked, I hadn’t moved and we opted to go home
at 4 cm. The nurses and doctor told me
that they assumed that they’d see me later that day. I did not feel hopeful, and cried a few tears
at breakfast with Todd feeling quite frustrated. Here I am on my 4th baby and I
don’t know when to go into the hospital?
I felt rather embarrassed. And in
addition to this, I was still pregnant!
I was hoping to come home with a baby.
The week ahead looked very dreary and I felt tired just thinking about
the fact that it might be another week before anything happened.
We
came home and slept a couple hours while Todd’s Dad and Stepmom took the kids
out to eat for breakfast. They came home
in the afternoon and I took another nap and then our family went to the park
and I walked for almost an hour and a half, hoping to start something. When I was walking I was in so much
pain. Everything was sore – my womb,
hips legs and all. Contractions kept
happening, but as soon as I came home they slowed down.
I
begged Todd for a frosty at Wendy’s because it sounded so good. The kids lucked out and got ice cream before
dinner – but I didn’t even end up eating mine because I felt so crummy and it
just didn’t even taste good. I was
praying so much that God would show me what to do, but finally, I just decided
to set it in my mind that I was going to be pregnant for awhile longer and just
ignore the contractions again. I went to
sleep that night desperately hoping for either a good night’s sleep where I
wouldn’t be woken up by contractions – or to come home with a baby! Thankfully, I got the good night’s
sleep. I was so grateful to God for 10
whole hours. I was woken up by painful
contractions a few times, but was able to go right back to sleep and ended up
just fine. We’d taken the precaution of
sending the kids to the Grandparents again just in case so they come home the
next morning and I just settled into normal routine on Monday. I was actually grateful that I wasn’t in
labor, because I felt like I’d already gone through labor once and just wanted
a break in between because my body was so tired.
Monday
evening, I was still tired and settled down for a good sleep and went to sleep
immediately. I was woken up at 11:30 by
a pretty strong contraction after about an hour and a half of sleep. I didn’t want to wake anyone yet so I waited
a bit and tried to go back to sleep. I
kept getting woken up by contractions but they were quite far apart – 15 to 30
minutes. The strange thing was that even
though they were so far apart, they were incredibly long and quite
intense. They reminded me of the
contractions that I would have when I was nearer to the end of my labors in the
past. I felt so confused because
everyone says to go in when contractions are closer together, not necessarily
intense. I think at around 12:30 or 1:00
I called my mom just to try to get her advice.
She said I should at least call the doctor on call and ask.
When
I spoke with the doctor on call, she thought it was odd that they were so
intense but so far apart. I told her
about how my contractions with Lucie didn’t get any closer than 6 minutes
apart, right up to the end and she agreed that I obviously labored differently,
but she said, “If you don’t know, I don’t know.” She did tell me that they were extremely busy
at the hospital with babies that night and that if I came; I might even have to
wait in triage a bit for a room because there were so many moms delivering. So I basically got off the phone not knowing
anymore than when I started.
Once
again, I decided to just try to go back to sleep and ignore them. I did talk to Todd a little bit and tell him
what was going on and then both of us tried to go back to sleep. I realized as I was going through these, that
I had some control over the contractions.
If I moved more, my contractions would come closer together and be
lighter and not as intense. If I was
still and didn’t move a bit, they would be further apart but much more intense.
I
had an intense one at 2:00 but tried to relax and went all the way to sleep,
woke up again at 2:30 in so much pain I could hardly breathe. It almost scared me how strong it was but
again I went back to sleep and slept til 3:00am. At 3:00 I was woken up with such a strong
long, deep contraction that I woke Todd up and said, “we’ve got to go!”. We called his mom to come watch the
kids. She was coming to the birth, but
we decided since she was closest that we would just go to the hospital and at
least get checked out and find out how far I was dilated before we called all
the Grandparents.
As
I got up and got ready to go, the contractions started getting closer
together. They were still far enough
apart to do things in between, but I had to stop for them as I was gathering my
things. Thankfully they were a bit
lighter as they got closer together and they weren’t so scary. We finally got everything together, got to
the hospital at about 4:00am and got checked despite the contractions being so
far apart. To my immense relief the
nurse pronounced that I was at 7 cm and was going to have the baby that
day. I was so relieved. Who would have thought that when contractions
were 5 minutes apart on Sunday that it wasn't time to come in, and when they
were 30 minutes apart this tonight – it was time to come in. That’s not what they tell you at the birthing
class – and definitely not what I’ve experienced before! We called all the Grands and soon were moved
into a room and things got down to business.
When
we were sitting in triage we happened to look at the date and I noticed that it
was my Grandma Dorothy’s birthday. We
talked about it and decided that we needed to add Grandma’s name to Iva’s. Originally it was going to be Iva Jo. Iva was Todd’s
great-grandmother’s name, and we liked Jo for several reasons including that
our other girls all had one-syllable “J” middle names, Jo happens to be the
middle name of an author/speaker that I love, Joseph is my favorite Bible
character, Josephine March is one of my favorite characters of fiction and the
meaning of Jo was “God increases” which is a lovely meaning. But after realizing it was Grandma’s
birthday, we decided to have our first 4 name baby and decided on Iva Jo
Dorothy Merry. Dorothy and Iva both mean
“God is gracious” and “God’s gift” which is lovely.
We
got to our room probably at around 5:00 am.
Other than Silas’s birth, all of my labors have been long, and I have a
theory that it is because my water just does not break! I have the strongest bag and I often carry
pretty high. My body was working
overtime to get the baby down along with the bag of water. The doctor has always ended up breaking it
when I am quite far along, and things speed up after that usually. I asked several times to have it broken, but
she was worried about Iva coming down too fast and getting the cord wrapped
around the neck. It felt like a long
time of laboring, but really it was only about 3 hrs from the time we got a
room. Reality was that I had labored
already quite a bit Sunday, and quite a bit of the night, but our time at the hospital
was relatively short.
The
moms had all arrived but I waited till 6:00 to call my friend Andrea who was
going to do the photos. She has 4 kids
herself and is still nursing two of them, including a 3 month old, and already
needs all the sleep she can get. She
arrived at about 7:00 and I was at 9cm by then.
She brought little 3 month old Benjamin asleep in the stroller.
I
pretty much always labor sitting up, barely moving, barely talking. I know a lot of women move around a lot and moan
a lot, but I am just the opposite. I
want lights off, no one talking, not much movement. I lean on Todd for contractions and rest
in-between and pretty much keep my eyes shut the whole time. Not sure why, since I am normally fairly outgoing
and talkative, but I always tend to be completely quiet, still and focused
during labor.
As
8:00am approached, I didn’t know if it would be hours longer or not, but the contractions
were so long. I have never considered an
epidural with my other births, and I knew I wouldn’t have one with this
one. They have all been natural, but
around 7:00 or so in the last hour, the thought kept crossing my mind, “maybe
with the next one I should just try an epidural…”. I know I probably won’t, but in retrospect,
it was almost amusing to realize that the thought was there. The contractions were strong. They were the kind where they’d come slowly,
and get deeper and stronger and just when you think they’ve got to peak, they
would go deeper and my heart would race and I’d think, “it’s gotta peak, it’s
gotta peak!”, and my body would just go another round more.
But
thankfully, at 8:00 my regular doctor that I’d been seeing throughout the
pregnancy came on shift and one of the first things she asked was if I wanted
my water broken. I immediately said yes with
much relief, and a couple minutes later she broke it. After that things happened really fast. I stiffened up and let out one of the loudest
yells that I remember when pushing. She
was out in about two pushes, 2 minutes after my water was broken. There was blood and water everywhere and as
soon as I got her head out, she slid right out.
I know the doctor barely had time to catch her (which for some reason
usually happens with my births) and I remember her lying on the hospital bed at
my feet. (I had moved the bed to a
sitting position for labor.) I was so
happy to be done and have her out!
Todd
told me that I yelled just as loud with the others, but it seemed more so with
Iva – maybe because it was so short. My
step-mother, who had never been to a birth before said that she got a little
scared, because I’d been so quiet and still and all of sudden, I was
yelling. She said my cry was almost
primal. It is funny what you remember at
times like these, because I couldn’t have stopped my cry if I wanted to, but my
doctor had gone out of my peripheral vision and I remember thinking, “well, I
guess it’s good that I am yelling because it will get her over here.” At the same time, I heard a baby cry and
realized it was my friend Andrea’s little boy and my birthing cry woke him
up. Todd said later that he was so
confused. He heard me yell, heard a baby
cry, looked at me, but Iva wasn’t out yet, and he couldn’t figure out how the
baby was crying without being out.
But
when she came out, with it came all the relief and joy and rest that comes with
“I’m done.” She was a good crier right
away and they let me hold her immediately.
She settled right down and then got to go to Daddy. I had a couple little stitches, which weren’t
too bad. After that she nursed right away,
like a little pro. No problems
there. She was born at around 8:20, 7
lbs 15 oz and 20 inches.
Todd
and I had such a wonderful day enjoying her and resting. I love giving birth at the hospital, just
because we get another day of rest, being pampered and waited on. Not to mention ordering and eating whatever
food I want. Todd’s dad brought the kids
over and we enjoyed showing Iva off to them.
When then they left and everyone else went home and it was quiet – just
Todd, Iva and I. That sleep was quite
possibly the best sleep I’ve ever felt.
I did ask for drugs to help with the after-birth cramping, as they get
worse with each pregnancy. It was just
so good to rest and relax and know she was here. Plus it was amazing how good food tasted to
me as well. It was just a lovely day.
Overall
it was a good labor, despite the starting and stopping. I am so grateful. Iva has been sleeping fairly well up until
the last couple nights. She just wakes
up, eats and goes back to sleep. She lasted
over 5 hours once without eating, but the last couple nights have been a little
rough. Hopefully they will get
better. We are enjoying her and she
looks so much like Maggie and Lucie did as newborns. We call her Lucie often. I am grateful to God that she is here and for
such a good labor.
Maggie
wrote this poem the night Iva was born: “Iva dear come over here. Good job Mom.
Come Iva come! Baby Iva.” We are so blessed!
