Difficult News and Part 2 of the May Uganda Trip

This post is both an update about what is happening currently (early October 2018) as well as about the second half of my trip to visit Joseph in May. As I write this we have received some very difficult news.

Todd and Maggie are in Uganda and have recently visited Joseph. They are also doing a medical camp with Churchome while they are there and then they will come back on the 18th. We have been hoping and praying that we would get a court date while they were in Uganda.  When Todd arrived we were told there was more paperwork to be completed that we didn't know about, and the turnaround time would not allow a court date during the time Todd was in country.

We were disappointed, but nevertheless planning on completing the paperwork as soon as possible. Todd went to our lawyer's office and filled out paperwork that was then going to be e-mailed to me. I would sign one of the pieces in front of a notary here, then sign the other, and Todd would sign that one in front of a notary in Uganda with Peter, our lawyer. The plan was for this to happen before he left and then Peter could apply for a court date the very next day. It would mean another trip for the court date but at least things were progressing.

I was eagerly waiting for the e-mail when we received some sad news. My cousin had read in the news that our lawyer had died. I scoured the news looking for articles and found it was true. Our lawyer, Peter Nyombi had indeed passed away. There were few articles initially, but more and more came out as time went by. I let Myriam and Todd know. I had no idea that he was once the Attorney General of Uganda and has led a very productive and also controversial life. We are praying for his family and friends and were sorry to hear this news. He was a quiet, kind, smart man. When Todd and Maggie had visited earlier in the week, he had told Maggie a funny story about an elephant.

What this means for the adoption at this point is that everything has halted. We are still hopeful for a court date in November as I believe it is in December or January that the judges take a recess which would prolong the process further. We are still praying for this. Myriam is working with Peter's associates at his office to figure out the next steps as he had several adoption cases he was working on for the agency. It feels discouraging when we were so close to applying for a court date. We are trusting God and praying that He will turn this out for good - and we know that He will in the end. We are frustrated and sorrowful about these events but at the same time confident that we will continue to move forward and we trust Him.

One piece of good news is that we have been given a matching grant toward our adoption from Lifesong for Orphans.  We have chosen not to do much fundraising for our adoption because we have wanted to focus on Home of Hope as a whole.  However we were encouraged by a friend to apply for this grant and we got it.  If you choose to give your funds will be doubled toward bringing Joseph home.  Thanks for considering it.  Click here if you feel led to donate.  Feel free to copy and share this as well.   https://mystory.lifesongfororphans.org/stories/merry-family-is-adopting-joseph-from-uganda/

Please continue to pray that God would open doors and that whatever lawyer we are assigned to will be fast and diligent and wise. Pray for Peter Nyombi's family as well.



In the meantime, here is the second half of my trip in May:

May 2018 Trip Part 2

Saturday morning we had arranged to meet with Brenda. Brenda is a girl that we have sponsored through some friends from Churchome. Her parents are gone and we pay for her to go to Destiny school and get an education, room and board. It was so good to see her, as well as and Ivan and Linda, a wonderful couple who helps provide for her when she is not in school. They brought her to meet us at a restaurant / park. Rachel brought Lois and I had Joseph and we found a little spot to picnic and talk. It was good to see her and spend time with her. I was still feeling a bit exhausted and weepy but we got some time to ourselves to talk. Joseph was fairly happy outside and the weather was pleasant.

After meeting with them we came home and did some laundry and took care of things at home. We fed Joseph many times that day and it seemed like directly after he ate he would always be a little less agitated. We also gave him his proper medicine at night and he was able to fall asleep fairly quickly. He woke up at 4:30 am, Sunday, but because we went to bed early I think I got about 7 hr sleep and felt like a new woman! 

We went to Isaac and Rachel's church in the morning and it was one of the places in Uganda that I felt most comfortable, safe and at home, even though Rachel told me to "watch my purse". 

There are many beautiful things about Uganda, but the poverty level is just so different from ours and people are so much more desperate that I always feel a little on edge with regard to safety. For instance, when we are traveling in a car, it is never a good idea to put your purse on the seat or even on your lap if your window is open or even if your doors are unlocked. Taking a picture with your phone out the window could easily turn into theft if a motorcycle "boda boda" comes swooping by. It isn't like we are always comfortable and safe in the US, but just the unfamiliarity of it kept me on my toes.

Just getting there was an adventure as we didn't want to rent a car just to go to church and there were 7 of us. Rachel and I sat with all 4 of the kids in the back. It is dangerous to have kids up front, but there are no seat belt or car seat laws. It was cozy! 

 Rachel and Isaac have their own parameters for safety having to do with the road they are traveling on, the amount of speed etc and I appreciated how they were cautious despite lack of laws. I would be terrified to drive in Uganda - and Isaac told me he was terrified to drive in the U.S. simply because here in Uganda people watch out for one another and assume that someone is going to be in your way and prepare for that.  He understood that. Even after you walk across a street and think you have made it, there are motorcycles on the sides of the streets that you could be hit by so you get used to really watching out for yourself and others. He said in the US it isn't that way and there are so many rules to remember that he was worried about breaking one and getting into an accident because he didn't understand all the laws. You aren't expecting people to be in front of you at odd times and you expect everyone to obey the laws, so when someone doesn't it is more of a surprise.  You get used to what you grow up with, right?

But once we got to church and joined in the singing and heard a wonderful sermon that was clearly uncompromising and culturally relevant to the people of Uganda, I felt so at home. God is the same everywhere. The Holy Spirit is alive and active and you can sense the presence of Jesus in His people.

It was a new experience for Joseph. We sat in the back and brought a mat for him to lay on, but I ended up holding him most of the time and despite how heavy he was and how tired I was, I really enjoyed it. The loud music and crowd made him tense up when we first came in. I could feel him get tight and anxious. I am glad to be able to start to understand his thoughts and feelings by his body language. I loved holding him and trying to make him feel less anxious and he seemed more relaxed by the end of the service. We fed him during the service which again, was an experience but we did it. I was thankful to be in the back.

Afterwards I got to meet some wonderful people. One lady , Irene, I just felt connected to even though we lived across the world from each other. I could tell that she loved Jesus and from some of the things she said, was committed to obeying him and influencing culture. She had gracious strength about her and I liked her immensely.

After the service Rachel and Isaac went to visit friends' and I opted to stay back with Joseph as I was really ready for some down time by myself. But I also wanted to be helpful and one of the things that Joseph and I were producing a lot of was laundry. Rachel and Isaac have an amazing modern convenience of a washing machine in their home. But again, a washing machine in the US is not like a washing machine in Uganda and there was a process including filling it up with water, and switching hoses at a certain time, hanging everything out to dry afterwards etc. 

 Between that and trying to keep Joseph happy, occupied and fed, there wasn't much down time although I did find that Joseph likes Curious George! I was able to put him in a reclining car-seat in a chair and a laptop in front of him and he was distracted enough for me to get the laundry done. He was still stiffening up and restless and wiggly, but he was happy and occupied. It didn't last that long but I was glad to find something that made him happy. He didn't like being set down by me at all, especially on the floor. 

Isaac and Rachel came back in the evening and we wanted to get to bed early again. We had to get an early start because we were going to Jinja to meet with Mr. Opio. We really needed a report from him that was a key piece in the adoption. We were planning on meeting at David's house, a man who is a board member of Home of Hope, a friend of Edith's, who has a passion for helping the children at Home of Hope.

So though we went to bed early, we were up at 5:00am and I didn't feel that rested. This trip has taken so much emotional and physical energy. We got rolexes for breakfast - a delicious egg and tortilla wrap sort of thing and were off. Traffic in Kampala and Jinja is often bad and it can be unpredictable. This was definitely one of those days. There had been an accident on one of the main roads between Kampala and Jinja and traffic was completely stopped. When Rachel saw the vendors selling snacks and pop on the side of the road (no - it's a real thing and happens often!) she said it was going to be a while. We had borrowed a reclining car-seat for Joseph. Even this was difficult for him to sit in and he did ok with it for a while, but since traffic was stopped, I was able to take him out and hold him and help him to relax. It always amazes me how his little body stops it's twitching and stiffening.  Rachel and I kept switching back and forth from front to back so she could nurse Lois or I could sit by Joseph.

It took a while but eventually the vehicles began to move again. I wanted Joseph to be all changed and fed when we arrived, but with the traffic it was tricky to know when we were going to get there. By the time we got there, he needed to be fed again and then changed and we both ended up a hot sweaty mess.  

We met David, a kind gracious man, eager to help and his lovely family. They had just moved to the home they were in and though the furniture was sparse, there were plastic chairs set up for all of us to sit in. David's adorable granddaughter was running around and eventually fell asleep on his lap. He has a huge heart for the kids at Home of Hope. 

Edith and Mercy came and brought Mr. Opio and all the introductions were made. Mr. Opio asked for paper and a pencil. He told me to write "name" and then put my name down. Then he asked me various questions about my birthday, all my kids names, our income, my hobbies Todd's work and hobbies as I wrote and filled in the blanks. He was there to evaluate me and write a home study report like we have in the states. As he asked me questions I realized that we were not just filling out a form, we were actually making the form as we went along. Like I said, paperwork is done differently in Uganda. We were there for a couple of hours and Isaac helped me hold Joseph some of the time as we were filling out forms.

Afterwards Edith went with Mr. Opio to make sure everything was done and we found out later that she was there most of the afternoon and evening, helping. In addition to this, afterwards David and Isaac helped draft another key piece of paperwork that needed to be done as well. David's wife and children brought us food to eat and we were able to feed Joseph with as well.

We thanked David and then left for "village". It felt a bit like a celebration with Isaac and Rachel because I felt like some of the pressure was off and we had gotten quite a bit of the bigger, more stressful pieces of paperwork done. We still needed to pick up a letter from the Doctor we had visited but we would do that back in Kampala. Now it was time to go to "village" and visit Isaac's family, see the site where the hospital was going to be built, and also see Isaac and Rachel's home that was being built as well.

The road to more rural Uganda was truly beautiful. The terrain actually reminded me a bit of Hawaii without the ocean. I was reading somewhere that though Africa is the poorest of the continents, they are actually the richest in natural resources. There is so much potential there with different infrastructure. Isaac and I talked a lot about ideas that he wishes could be applied in Uganda and the frustration he sometimes feels. But the country is lush and beautiful and as we drove through I couldn't help thinking of Hawaii.

Going to "village" was an experience in itself. It meant going to the place where Isaac grew up. A place where there is almost no electricity, where women have to walk to the well with jerry cans to get water and everything is rural and very, very poor. But it is the place where Isaac and Rachel are building their house and where the hospital is going to be built. When Isaac was young he got tired of seeing so many people get sick and die for treatable things because they were so far from good health care. He got a vision, even at a young age for building a hospital. 

I have so much respect both for Isaac and Rachel. They have this amazing, big, vision. Very clearly it is one God has given them. Isaac grew up with his mother and was very poor. His father had 10 wives. His mother had at least 7 living children, but there are only 2 left. Both he and his brother are Christians. The rest of his siblings have died of Aids. Many people in rural areas of Africa live whole lives just a few miles from where they were born. But some want to move to the big cities, usually to find better work. If they become a doctor it is usually because they want to get a job in Kampala and make money. 

 But Isaac's vision has always been to become a doctor and come back to his village. To truly serve the people that need medical care. The idea isn't to make a lot of money but to give back to his community. Isaac is such a man of integrity who loves God, loves his family and has a vision of the work God have given him. He is so patient with the kids and loving to Rachel. I love their relationship and even watching them in stressful situations - and I've seen a few while I am here, they still really like each other a lot. They work well together.

Here was this young man who had a vision for a hospital, and God brought this girl from the US who wanted to help children with special needs. They fell in love and because of Rachel's ties to the US, they are able to come to the US for fundraising and God is providing for Isaac's vision for his family and his people. He has come from this difficult place with a difficult heritage and God has brought amazing redemption to his life. It is fascinating to understand where he has come from and see God's work.

Rachel has made a sacrifices to live in Africa but her vision is big too. She has found joy here. Both of them have encouraged me so much. Rachel has reminded me several times about the adoption that, " this was not your idea". That it is God's. Especially during this week when things have felt difficult and overwhelming. This is God's idea and he will give grace to see it through. She said, "Living in Africa was not my idea either" but God have given her great grace as she goes sometimes months with no water or electricity. She has grit and determination and strength to do what is set before her. There were times this week that both of us cried and weren't afraid to show it. Our vision and purpose is from God and we know that He is the one to see it through.

At the same time these beautiful people of Uganda are showing their grit and determination as well. I think of Edith staying with Mr. Opio the rest of the day to make sure all the paperwork is done, driving him around and still trying to take care of all of her responsibilities at Home of Hope. Of David opening his home to us and helping with the forms for Joseph.

The home Isaac and Rachel are building in "village" has been well thought out, as the hospital has been, with its own water supply, own solar panels and power. Isaac and Rachel's home will also have space as a guest house for western workers who will volunteer their work at the hospital and on the grounds and in many ways. The hospital will provide jobs and income for the community and people will most likely come from miles around. It will boost the economy and provide both health care and work for those there.

I got to see the unfinished house and grounds as well as the place where the hospital is to be built. We went to the cemetery and visited Elijah's grave. Rachel's firstborn son Elijah was carried all the way to term and then was stillborn at delivery while she was there in Africa. There will be an Elijah Mubezi Maternity wing in the hospital that is to be built. So many women in Africa have childbirth complications and Rachel is one with them and has her own story. There were some tears as we visited his grave.

Then we went to Isaac's mother's house. We sat outside in the courtyard on plastic chairs in the shade. There were big huge smiles as friends and family crowded around to see us as we arrived. This was Isaac's mother's first time getting to see her grand-baby Lois and she just beamed the whole time. We had gin nuts, and the freshest, juiciest, sweet - with just the right tartness -mangoes I have ever eaten, as well as the most delicious "tea" which is mostly sugar and whole milk, which is why it was so scrumptious.

 

I loved making eye contact and waving at the little children who hung around the periphery of the party and squeezing their hands before we left. I held Joseph most of the time and listened to the chatter and met more and more people who kept coming by to say hi. Joseph was happy and loved sucking on mango seeds and getting the juice out. It was one of my most favorite parts of the trip.

After village we went back toward Jinja as were bringing Joseph back in the morning and stayed at a hotel that is along the Nile. We got there basically in time to go to sleep and then get up, eat breakfast and got to Home of Hope in the morning. Joseph was exhausted from the day's events and fell asleep right away, waking up early as usual. I did enjoy waking up this time, opening the curtains in the cool morning air and looking out on the Nile. I showered and mashed up bananas and mangoes for his breakfast. I was hoping for something like oatmeal for him, but he just ended up with a lot of fruit.

As we drove to Home of Hope to bring him back I was a bit anxious as to how he would do when he left me. The last time I left was so difficult. I know that he loves Edith, but he has bonded to me in a way that surprised me. I decided that when we went to Home of Hope I would hold him as long as I could, until the very end. When we first got there he tensed up a bit and clutched me harder. The lower lip came out, but I kept telling him I wasn't leaving yet and I just kept him in my arms. It was wonderful to visit with Edith and see that she is recovering well from her hospital stay. It was also amazing to see the progress on the new building, which we had fundraised for the last time Edith was in the US. They were almost ready to move in and were completing some of the final parts of it as I arrived.

Edith gave us the grand tour and it was good to see so many of the children and familiar faces from before. When it was finally time to say goodbye, I gave Joseph to Edith and told him I was leaving and it was much less traumatic than I thought it would be. Unfortunately, we found out later, that he didn't really understand I was leaving at the time, and it sounds like he got pretty upset when he realized I was truly gone. It just made me feel more determined to do all we can to speed up this process. Unfortunately, much of it is out of my hands, but we will keep praying.

On the way home we stopped to get the letter from the doctor to give to Peter the lawyer. But it wasn't notarized and we had to go back and make sure that happened. We also needed them e-mailed so it ended up being an all day process but we came back with the letters, the report from Mr. Opio and the other document that Isaac and David helped draft. It felt strange not to have Joseph with us, and I kept feeling like I needed to check on him and make sure he was ok, but he wasn't there.

When we finally got home it was actually night time and we got ice cream to celebrate having all the paperwork. Expensive ice cream. Even in American dollars ice cream is outrageously expensive in Uganda. But it was worth celebrating. We stayed up way too late talking and laughing into the night but it was the last night and it felt like much of the pressure was off and we'd gotten what we set out to get.

The next day Isaac and I met with Peter the lawyer. He wanted some of the wording changed on the doctor letter so we will try to make that happen but he was pleased. We went to "market" where we could buy fresh fruits and vegetables and that was another unique experience all on it's own. It was a bit like a farmers market in the US - but bigger, with a lot more people and a lot more bargaining.

 

In the evening I said my goodbyes to Rachel, Lois and the boys and Isaac brought me to see sweet Brenda one more time. We met with Linda and Ivan as well and had dinner and then they dropped me off at the airport. When we them the Saturday before, Linda had asked for some sizes of the girls at home and she'd made the cutest dresses for all 4 my girls in just a few days. They were amazing. I was glad we got to see the three of them before we left.

It was a stressful, physically exhausting, amazingly beautiful, culturally eye opening, happy, life changing couple of weeks and my heart is definitely burning for Joseph to come home soon. At the same time, I was grateful and relieved to be going home.

One of the things I have thought a lot about is all the effort and time we are putting into this adoption, the thousands of dollars we are spending to see this accomplished. Joseph is just one little boy. One little boy in a home of 60 kids who all need funds and love, and in a country of even more who need resources. I've thought about the ethics of spending this much on one when more could be helped with the money and effort we are putting forth. And yet I know that God has called us to this "one" I know he has asked us to love and adopt Joseph.

While I was in Uganda, I believe it was Sunday or Monday, I "happened" to read the parable of how Jesus leaves the ninety nine safe in the fold to go rescue the "one" sheep in Luke 15:3-7. I know that based on the thought swirling around in my head that this wasn't just a coincidence that I am reading through my Bible and came across this passage today. Joseph is our sweet "one".

This is what Jesus does for us. We are his "one". I believe that Jesus chose to have a relationship with us because he wanted us and somehow - we bless him through this relationship while at the same time we are blessed by Him. I also know that we are not going to just bless Joseph - but that we will be blessed by him as well. We will benefit too, in our relationship with him. I am blessed by my relationship with Jesus and I believe that He delights in me - that and wants this relationship. In the same way, we will be blessed by Joseph and the end result will be that we will all be blessed. Jesus left the 99 because he knew we needed him - but I believe that He also benefits from and delights in a relationship with us and it will be the same with Joseph.

The song "Reckless Love" has been a theme for Todd and I in this adoption as it talks about "leaving the 99". We want to love like Jesus does and we know we are going to reap the fruit of a deeper relationship - both with Him and with Joseph.

In the meantime, we hurry up and wait. Any time there is paperwork that comes up, we do it as quickly as possible and then wait some more.... We are trusting God for what the future holds.

Adoption Saga Part 10 - May Uganda Trip (I)

Wow - It has been way too long since I updated this blog. Mostly because we are now in a waiting period. We are hopeful for a court date when Todd and Maggie go to Uganda in October. Please pray with us that we will get it during that time!  There is still more paperwork that needs to be done, but nothing on our end.

I realized that I have not written about my trip to see Joseph in May. I got back shortly before school ended for the kids and it has been a bit of a whirlwind summer with not much time for writing. The short version is that I got to know Joseph a lot better, I definitely feel more bonded to him and I believe that he is more bonded to me as well. We have learned a lot about his needs and what it will take to care for him and who he is as a person. It was a bit overwhelming at first, but we know that God is going to give both us and him grace as we learn how to meet his physical and emotional needs. In addition to this, while we were there we were able to get quite a bit of paperwork pieces done, although they are not all complete. That's the nutshell, but for anyone who knows me, I'm not really a nutshell person so for more detail - read on. I had to divide it into a couple parts so here is part 1.

May Uganda trip Part 1

This time I traveled to Uganda with my cousin Rachel, her husband Isaac who is from Uganda, their 2 year old twin boys and newborn 3 month old baby girl. Isaac is a doctor and they are in the process of ministering there and building a hospital in a rural area to bring medical care to those who need it outside of the city. I stayed with them in Kampala and they were a huge help to me while I was there. Isaac drove me around and strategized with me on paperwork as we visited the lawyer, the probation officer and doctors, trying to complete adoption paperwork tasks. Rachel's has a degree in special education and her purpose in coming to Africa originally was to help with children with special needs. She helped me so much with Joseph, understanding what he needed, talking with him in both English and Lugandan and giving me advice and encouragement on how to care for him.. And I hope that I was at least a little help to them with their little ones also, especially on the plane right over there. I got to snuggle Lois (baby girl) and try to entertain the boys some of the time. Because they were bringing back as many supplies as they could we had 16 suitcases! to check. It was pretty crazy.

We didn't get much sleep but survived the transferring of planes and when we landed we were met with 3 cars of friends of theirs who were able to help with the luggage. We arrived at their home quite late and tried to get as much sleep as we could the first night, though our bodies were on opposite schedules and so were the kids. There wasn't much sleep happening between Lois and the boys. Several times I got up in the night to find Ezra or Aaron up and about.

The next day we unpacked and got settled. We had no electricity for the first part that I was there, and no running water for the last part. Things like this that even the poorest in America take for granted here, can be luxuries in Africa. Not having wifi, at the beginning either, I really missed talking with Todd especially. We tried to take it easy and just do the minimum of things that had to be done because we were quite exhausted. Laundry is a process, cooking is a bit more of a process, washing dishes is more of a process even in a modernized house in Uganda.

As you might remember from our social media posts, many of the children at Home of Hope, including Joseph had contracted the measles before I came. Joseph had been over it for a while, and Edith had just gotten out of the hospital so Mercy and a couple others from Home of Hope brought Joseph to us instead of us going there, as we didn't want to expose Lois who hadn't been vaccinated yet.

Joseph arrived Thursday afternoon. Mercy and the others stayed for a bit and gave us some medication for him and said goodbye. I wasn't sure how he was going to feel about them leaving. His lower lip came out once or twice but I reassured him and he seemed to do fine. He is such a beautiful child and it was good to hold him again. My heart is still learning what it is to bond with him and more of that definitely happened this week as I learned how to care for him.

At Home of Hope they'd taught me before how to hold him and feed him at the same time, but it was incredibly difficult. First of all, he can hardly hold his head up, but he is not a baby. He is most likely around 4 years old and though he is skinny he is tall. It was too hard for me and we ended up putting him in one of the boys' car seats and that worked better. Feeding him almost felt like an overwhelming challenge over the next few days. First of all - figuring out what he could eat with Ugandan food that needed to be mashed and soft enough for him to eat was a challenge. Next, the sheer amount food he needed seemed to take quite a while for him to eat. Third, figuring out his rhythm was hard. Because of his Cerebral Palsy the neurons that fire in his brain don't always work to tell him to open his mouth. When it was time to eat he was ravenous. He would get so excited that he'd clamp his mouth down on the spoon and I couldn't take it out. He would clench his whole body and clench his teeth. He was trying to open his mouth but his brain was telling his mouth to close down harder. You could see the frustration in his eyes, and a couple of times he'd almost start to cry. Sometimes he'd get a rhythm of sticking out his tongue and opening his mouth, but other times his teeth would clench again and he would just begin grinding them. It was difficult too because his head was all over the place.

Joseph is well cared for and though he has spent time in therapy and in a wheel chair, he has lived a lot of his life lying on a mat. He cannot even lift his head up if he is lying down, or turn it side to side well. His head is shaped long and narrow from the back to the front. If you lie him on his back, his head will flop either to the right or to the left so he is stuck looking in one direction. As you can see in the picture above, here he is lying down.  His eyes are wide because he can't even turn his head to look up at me because of the shape of it and his muscle strength.  In the same way, when I am trying to get him to face forward to try to feed him, his head will automatically get stuck to the right or to the left. So we always had to prop him up with a towel between his face and the wing of the car seat. At the same time, he would wiggle also and clench and have jerky movements typical to those with CP. Sometimes the food would come out. I would always end up with it on me, despite his bib, blankets and towels. Feeding him took about 45 minutes or so and by the end I was sweaty, he was sweaty and we were both exhausted with quite a bit of laundry to do after each feeding.

The first day I fed him dinner, let him play a bit, gave him a bath, which he was fairly happy about, and then put him in bed. He fell asleep easily and though he woke up in the night and wiggled quite a bit, he was quiet and seemingly happy most of the night. We slept in a double bed together so I kept tabs on him all night. He slept great but rest of us didn't sleep so well. The little boys and Lois were still on Seattle time which means day and night is switched. They had napped during the day and were literally up most of the night, talking and calling for mommy. Lois has a cold and would cough and cry as well. Everyone was taking turns. I felt badly for Rachel and Isaac. At least I could lie in bed when they were waking up every two minutes. They had to get up and deal with things. None of us got much sleep. Maybe four or so intermittent hours.

 

Kampala Traffic

I woke up early and took a shower and got myself and Joseph ready. Then came the wrestling match of trying to get him fed. We needed to go to the lawyer's and then the doctor's. Isaac was taking Joseph and I to both places. I had to think of diapers, and changes of clothes and figure out what we'd need for the day along with food. In Kampala, Rachel says that really all you should do in one day is one activity. Traffic makes it very difficult to do two. We did the lawyers at 10:00 (and we were slightly late - 10 minutes) and the doctors at 3:30. We were going on about 4 days with travel time of hardly any sleep. On the way to the lawyers I just felt completely overwhelmed with anxiety. I knew the paperwork we had to do was important. I knew I'd be carrying Joseph and trying to figure out the next time to feed him. I was just so exhausted I remember thinking that if it were possible explode from anxiety, I would! Both about what had to be done in the next week or so, but also thinking about bringing him home and what caring for him would entail. In my head I knew that the enemy wanted me to fear the future and be overwhelmed by the present. Isaac was so kind and prayed for me on the way, as he could see that I was struggling a bit.

Peter the Lawyer and his assistants

But the meeting with Peter, the lawyer went well and we came up with a bit of a strategy for some things we could accomplish while we were here including the report from Mr. Opio and a letter, very specifically written, from the doctor who would examine him. It was so helpful to have Isaac there because he understood from a Ugandan perspective what we needed, and how to ask for and communicate it to the right people.

We found a restaurant that served mashed potatoes and some things that Joseph could eat and again, feeding him was a process. Then we headed to the doctor. The doctor was wonderful and eager to help out. He had written letters for other adoptions before. One of the things that concerned me, and him as well was that he was malnourished. Edith does a wonderful job with all the children at Home of Hope. All the food is prepared for all the children and it is a healthy size portion. Joseph is very thin but we didn't realize he was malnourished. In getting to know Joseph however, we began to understand.

Joseph is continually moving and twitching. When you lay him down he is agitated and wiggling all over the place. His hip bones don't ever both touch the floor at the same time because he is arching his back and pushing with his feet continually (unless he is asleep.) At Home of Hope they prepare all the food for all the children at the same time. Joseph gets what everyone else gets and it is probably the right amount for a boy his size. But not the right amount for a boy who never stops moving. His caloric needs are probably two or three times as much as normal. We found this week that the only time he is really relaxed is when he is cradled in arms. If he is on the floor (or even in the car- seat) he is continually wiggling. He strains and stretches and beads of sweat break out on his forehead and he clenches his fists. We know that Edith has done well in caring for him, but in thinking about his movements it is understandable that he has a greater caloric need than the other children who do not struggle with the twitching.

Rachel determined that this week we would do our best to fatten him up. It was interesting because right after food and when he was held, his movements seemed to calm down a little. When we fed him, he would get so agitated and excited he can hardly sit still. And in his desperation for food he just gets almost panicky which makes it more difficult to feed him. We made the decision to feed him every two or three hours or so. Which made for a lot more time and work. In addition to this, we purchased some extra dry cereal that can be made into mash to leave at Home of Hope when I left so that Joseph can be given more calories every day and which Rachel can help supply until he comes to the US.

We also found out that he really hates the doctors. Even when I was holding him and the doctor was doing simple things like checking his back with the stethoscope or measuring his head he was cringing. And when I put him down on the table to be measured he just totally erupted in panic fussing and crying. I tried to explain to him that it was going to be ok but it was difficult. Then there was the long car ride home. That was when I realized how hard the car seat was for him. He does have physical therapy at Home of Home and some time in a chair, but most of the time he is lying on a mat.. Just sitting upright in the chair was exhausting him. When we'd talk with him and try to cheer him up he got this pleading look on his face. Thankfully after the first day or two, Rachel was able to find a rear facing car seat that reclined more for Joseph, because we had to do quite a bit of traveling and this made things a little easier for him.

But by the end of the first day I was just feeling exhausted and weepy about everything. And in thinking about the difficulties in feeding him alone and the time it took and the lack of bandwidth we already have at home I just felt so low and scared about the future. Overwhelmingly so. Over the course of the trip I kept speaking truth to myself (and Rachel and Isaac reminded me also.)

When we bring Joseph home, I will not be living in an unfamiliar place and we will develop routines that will work for him and for us. We will have proper equipment, like a wheelchair and high chair. At Home of Hope they do their best and he is on some calming medications for twitching but I have a feeling that he will be put on different medications that will perhaps be helpful. We will have lots of services for him. There will still be a lot of work at the beginning but things will be different and Rachel kept reminding me of this. And I wouldn't be going on 4 days of hardly any sleep. All of life looks different with sleep.

Unfortunately the next night wasn't the greatest either. Joseph fell asleep easily like he had the night before. It took awhile again for us to sleep because the little boys were still awake but then at around 2:00am Joseph woke up. He was crying and completely panicking. He was sweating, arching his back and looking at me with these terrified eyes. He seemed like he was in pain. Isaac and Rachel came in to try to figure out what it was. We decided to give him his pill for agitation that Mercy had given us and Rachel also have him a Tylenol suppository. We prayed for him and eventually he did settle and go back to sleep but again, I got about 4 hrs sleep. I also woke up early again.

I was incredibly low that morning. I felt like I was at the end of myself, I'd used up all my physical and emotional energy and adrenaline and I was ready to go home..... and the week was just starting. I felt like I should be at the end. By now we did have wifi and I was able to call Todd and spend some time with him crying and talking. He had some issues with the rentals at home and was also having a difficult time, but he prayed with me and was so comforting. He remembered a medication that Edith had said they were giving Joseph that he hadn't received. When he told me this and suggested giving him that, and things made a little more sense as to why he may have been so panicky. So Isaac wrote a prescription and were able to give that to him.

We were beginning to realize how much the spasms and twitching are a part of Joseph's life. It is hard to describe but think about a little toddler who never stops moving and is wiggly with high energy. At some point though, a normal healthy toddler will slow down and relax. However, only time Joseph really relaxes is when he is in someone's arms or asleep. Again this knowledge is overwhelming. When Joseph is by himself, in a chair or on the floor he twitches and spasms. However, as soon as you pick him up though, he calms down and his body relaxes. I was thinking about how busy things are at home when I am trying to get a million things done and attending to the kids. At the same time, the only thing that really calms Joseph down is holding him in arms. Which takes a lot of time. But I want to do it!

His needs are similar to a little baby's. But even in this I know God has a plan. We learned in our adoption classes and book that when children are adopted they will have gone through trauma. Bonding happens so much through physical touch. Joseph was abandoned at age one. Little babies are often agitated and moving until you hold them and then they calm down. Little babies need to eat every few hours. We will have a chance to meet his needs and bond with him. His needs are going to be all consuming for a while but at the same time, it will remind us that he need to experience bonding and love.

I felt this strong drive and desire to love him well. It is so important to me that we not just meet his physical needs, but also his emotional ones. If this means being held often, I want to do that. At the same time, between the length of time it takes to feed him and hold him I just don't know how we are going to do it. To be gut honest, with the lack of sleep and physical exhaustion of carrying him, the heat and preparing meals and being in a foreign country - I just wanted to get out of dodge.

But at the same time, God kept bringing me back to how overwhelmed felt about Vivien and her needs at the beginning. I remember when the nurses were trying to train me on how to feed her through her tube, and feeling completely inadequate and like I wanted to run. I was, exhausted from trying to give birth and having a c-section. I remember being secretly grateful and guilty at the same time that I caught a cold, which would put off my caring for her for a while because she couldn't risk the infection. And yet caring for her is now not too much for us at all. We have routines and though she is time consuming, life is truly a joy with her. I knew I needed to trust God for His faithfulness in the past. He has made life beautiful and good with Vivien. It was hard at first. It took so much but we are at a happy place with her.

I told God that I was going to trust Him that He is going to do beautiful things with and in Joseph and that He would continue to grow my love for him, deeper and stronger. I am grateful for the drive he has put in my heart to meet his physical and emotional needs. In my devotions that morning very morning I read, in the Passion translation: Lk 9:23-24 If you truly desire to be my disciple, you must disown your life completely, embrace my "cross" as your own and surrender to my ways. For if you choose self-sacrifice, giving up your lives for my glory, you will embark on a discovery of more and more of true life. But if you choose to keep your lives for yourself, you will lose what you try to keep." I knew He was calling me to this. Joseph is not a "cross". The work of caring for him however is part of the "cross" that we are called to but Joseph himself is a blessing and he is going to be a blessing to us. We know that as we His very name means gift or increase. We have embarked on a discovery of more and more of true life with Viv and we know and believe that God will do that with Joseph too. We know that surrender leads to more and more true life. But my week was only beginning...

“That the works of God might be displayed…” Adoption Saga Part 9

Part I of our Adoption Journey begins here.  This post will be from Todd, with a bit about what God showed him after his last experience with Joseph in Uganda. I love his insight. As we post this in May of 2018, I (Molly) am getting ready to leave in a week to see Joseph again. I'll be traveling with my cousins. As of right now Joseph has the measles, complete with vomiting, and fever. Most of the children at Home of Hope have caught this and are now on treatment so pray for their healing and for strength for Edith and her staff. There are quite a few complications also regarding scheduling things at home for Todd next week so please pray for God's timing and freedom from anxiety for him.

In addition to this, the good news I hinted about in the last post is that there is a possibility that we could bring Joseph home in October, when Todd and Maggie travel there for their mission trip. Things change and are fairly fluid with Ugandan adoptions, but that is our hope and prayer so please pray with us.

“That the works of God might be displayed…” John 9:3 

 by Todd

Until four years ago, I never really considered God’s purpose for people with disabilities. I had just never given it much thought. That all changed when Vivien was born and I began to give more careful thought to how a person with significant disabilities plays a vital role in the kingdom of God. 

On this most recent trip to Uganda, I was able to spend three days with Joseph, Edith and others who surround themselves with disabled children. I’ll admit, it can still be alarming to see the depth of “disability” within a small building. While many of the 61 children can respond and interact, a significant number are totally reliant on others to help them with the most basic of tasks. 

While I had been able to spend some time with Joseph last September, I am still getting used to holding him, feeding him, communicating and interacting with him. With my other children, I got to daily see them grow into the people they are, but with Joseph I’m having to learn quickly. It’s messy quite frankly – literally and figuratively. I make mistakes and it can be awkward, but there are also smiles and giggles.

At one point, after feeding him in the hospital cafeteria while sitting him awkwardly on my lap, I found myself covered in rice, beans, urine from a leaky diaper and my own sweat from the tropical heat. I admit this was uncomfortable for my conventional self and I couldn’t help but ask, “God – what are you doing?” 

With Vivien and now Joseph, I’m having to re-orient my thinking. The pragmatic part of me values the ability to work, skill and ability. So how does one who is completely unable to perform even the most basic of life functions “display the works of God”? 

First – I’m reminded that it was not God’s intention that any of us would be sick or have a disability in the first place. Because we as humans chose sin long ago, our fallen, broken world causes children to be born with extra chromosomes, have traumatic births or blindness. None of these illnesses were His desire for us. Like all of you, I prayed against any illness or complication with all of our births. And, while I would still much rather have Vivien be whole and well, I have come to see a sweet redemption in her condition. I know that God has done a powerful work in our lives through caring for a child with disabilities – and I can’t imagine life any different. 

During one of the nights in Uganda, I awoke with a passage in my head – John 9:3 Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.” Jesus’ answer followed the question from his disciples about a man with a disability (blindness). “Who sinned – this man or his parents?” 

I can’t help but think of the perspective of one of the disciples standing there. Jesus sets the stage by saying “Look everyone, this man has been born blind so that the works of God might be displayed in his life. Now watch this…” 

He then spits in the sand at his feet, makes some mud, rubs the mud on the eyes of the blind man and tells him to go wash it off. What!?! How is there any hint of the glory of God in what just happened? You just embarrassed this guy on so many levels and now he’s going to go stumbling to the fountain to wash mud off his face while others are probably jeering at him! What just happened? 

When I think about the mess that comes with having a child with disabilities, I think of feed pumps, carrying her everywhere, propping her up after falling, doctor appointments, frequent illness, all-nighters in the ER, stares from others, etc. While my other four have had their complications, nobody has been as messy and complicated to raise as Vivien. 

And yet….. And yet I’ve seen a whole new side to humanity, to the heart of God for my disabled self. I’ve seen that in the same way I would die for this girl who is just able to be and not do, so God is content with me just being, not having to perform for Him. Despite her disability, she’s been able to move mountains in my own heart. She’s shown me my own hang-ups with God. Her life has been used by God to shape my own. 

I admit I have had moments during this adoption process where I may ask “God, how did we get to this point and why does it have to be so messy?” But I’m comforted by the fact that it was messy with Jesus as well – quite literally. To be truthful, the works of God don’t always look like the works of God. They look messy and awkward. In our attempts to imitate Him, we stumble at times and make messes. I love the fact that He got involved in the mess of our daily lives in order to bring us redemption. He took on the grit and grime to bring purpose, joy and freedom. At the very least, the cross shows the messiness of redemption. 

As I look forward, I know there will be times of joy, hope, frustration and despair during this adoption. In the same way, I look back on these past four years and see seasons of these as well – and He has been there for us all through it. God has been faithful and I know He will continue to be faithful. I look forward to the future, not because I know all the mountains and valleys ahead, but because I know He will be with us wherever the journey may take us.

Adoption Saga Part 8 - Meeting Joseph!

Our adoption saga part one begins here and I am almost caught up to present day!  This is about when I got to meet Joseph in January of 2018.

Joseph

I arrived in Uganda at around 2:00 in the afternoon Sunday, Jan 21st. Because I was meeting a friend afterwards to spend a few days in Europe, we flew together to London, had a long layover with the plan to do a little sightseeing and then I'd continue on to Uganda. We had a wonderful day, then more flying and I ended up reaching Uganda with about four hours sleep in 40 hrs. Needless to say I was a little loopy. 

I met the driver that Myriam (the lady from the adoption agency) sent for me and we were off to our first hotel. The plan was to stay the night in Kampala and then Myriam would find a driver to take us to Jinja to meet Joseph. I actually felt a little embarrassed when I talked with Myriam because I had such a hard time tracking and even having a decent conversation, forgetting things that seemed very simple.  I could hardly wait for bed.   But before bed I got to meet Brenda.

Brenda, Me, Myriam

Several years ago we started sponsoring Brenda through an organization started by a pastor at City Church, now Churchome in Kirkland. Todd and Maggie met her last the last time they were here. She is soft-spoken, beautiful, sweet and affectionate. Ivan and Linda who help care for those orphans in the organization brought her and came with us to dinner and they were wonderful people. We enjoyed a lovely dinner at a place Myriam found for us. I have prayed for Brenda so long and it was so wonderful to actually see her in the flesh instead of just pictures. She is working hard at school and has aspirations in the medical field. I loved meeting her.

Bed was glorious and I woke up the following morning feeling fairly decent for how long I'd been awake during my travels. We headed out at 10:00am for Jinja and to meet Joseph at Home of Hope. On the way there though, we found out that Edith thought we were coming the following day. She was excited to have us coming sooner, but was meeting with Joseph's probation officer that afternoon. Myriam felt this was perfect because she needed us to meet with him as well. He would need to sign the some of the first documents we needed for the adoption so instead of going to Home of Hope, we met Edith in town and then to see Mr. Opio, the probation officer.

I came in thinking it was just a meeting, but I didn't really realize the significance. It didn't seem to start well. Mr. Opio talked with us about how he was the one who had the power to allow us to foster Joseph. He said that he would see if we were fit to care for him. He told us the law says that we have to be there for a year and live with him. He also quoted us a price to do the paperwork. In addition to this, I believe Myriam told me later that I crossed my legs and apparently that is a sign of disrespect (too causal?) in Uganda. I'll remember next time.

But as I realized that this was not going as well as I'd hoped, I began to pray like crazy.... Myriam,  remained polite and knowledgeable. As they talked, she mentioned the exceptional circumstances clause and other parts of the law and was able to firmly but kindly negotiate a price as well as an understanding about what was required.

Basically afterwards she explained to me that he went from saying that we have to foster, to we have to visit, to we have to visit and if were fit we might even get a court date in less than a year. They talked a bit about the price and together they found an amount that she felt like they could agree on. She thanked Mr. Opio as she left and he gave us the paperwork I needed to fill out and sign. We left with a verbal agreement that we could come back the next day and bring the paperwork, along with Joseph for a picture with him and he would sign. Afterwards as we talked Myriam said that she was surprised that we got as far as we did, even with the paperwork in hand that we needed.

I was so thankful to God for the way it ended. One thing that seemed frustrating at first was that the "year" of fostering begins when everything is signed. Even though Todd had met Joseph in September, it didn't count as the start of the year. If he had seen Mr. Opio then, it would have shortened the process. I felt like it was an opportunity missed, but after understanding, I realized that it was a blessing in disguise because Myriam knew how to negotiate. She also understood the law according to Hague principles and if any money is exchanged in the wrong way, we could violate that and lose any opportunity. So in retrospect, God was (of course) at work and it was a blessing that Todd did not go to see Mr. Opio back in September.

The way the "system" in Uganda works, is once Edith's home is registered with the Ministry of Gender (and even before), children are given to her to care for when they have disabilities and are abandoned. If someone finds them, the police can bring them to her, and hold her accountable to take care of them, but she is not given any money to care for them which is unfortunate. Mr. Opio is responsible for those children in his district and Edith does the district a great service by caring for them. Mr. Opio often brings dignitaries to see Home of Hope and all they are doing. The one thing Home of Hope did get from the government was a cow to give the children milk and apparently Mr. Opio lobbied hard for this for her and Edith was grateful.

It was late afternoon by the time we finished with Mr. Opio and actually drove to Home of Hope. It was much as Todd had described and the pictures I'd seen. Colorful murals dotted the wall around the compound and as we entered the main area there were children everywhere, those with the ability to walk or scoot around coming out to greet us and others lying on plastic mats on the floor.

Almost as soon as I walked in Edith brought me Joseph. He is a beautiful, happy boy who seemed delighted to see me. As I held him, his head was the largest thing about his body and because of the cerebral palsy, his head needed support. He is long and thin and maneuvering him was a bit difficult but he seemed very happy to be in my arms. I said "hi" to him at the beginning and he answered with a very clear "hi" back. I got to bring him into Edith's office for a little time alone with him and we had a little conversation in jibberish back and forth for a bit with lots of smiles. He was clean and well cared for.

I had been so focused on Joseph that I didn't really notice a couple of other people who were in the office with me. There was a boy that I recognized and as I looked at him it dawned on me. His name was Blessing and I knew him through pictures because his mother and I have become good friends online. Elizabeth is a sweet woman that I'd met in a cerebral palsy Facebook group. We have talked a lot online and she wanted to see me when came to Africa. She traveled by bus all the way from Kenya to meet me. It was so amazing to see her face to face and meet her boy, Blessing, who is Joseph's age and has cerebral palsy as well. She cares for her son so well and loves him fiercely.

Joseph and I, Elizabeth and Blessing

Edith showed us around Home of Hope and to see the land that they were able to purchase with the funds raised by many of you who are reading this, as well as the house in the process of being built to expand Home of Hope. We even got to see the washing machine that has saved their staff lot of time and energy, thank to a generous donor from our church. It was amazing to meet all the children who I'd seen pictures of online and heard about from Todd. So many familiar faces that I now know in person.

Rashida

Timothy

Prosse

The twins

Myriam was admittedly overwhelmed. In her adoption work, she has seen many orphanages, but there are few like Edith's that will take children with disabilities as opposed to healthy children. She was impressed however, by the care and work that Edith and her staff are doing with the resources they have.

I also got to meet the staff worker at Home of Hope who found Joseph.

Edith, Joseph, Me, Mr. Opio

The following day I was able to bring Joseph to my hotel room and spend time with he and Elizabeth and Blessing on our own. We did go see Mr. Opio and he did sign the forms. Myriam was again, quite pleased by how well it went and I really believe that God's hand was in this.  We took pictures, as we will always do to document our visits with Mr. Opio.

Edith had a meeting in the afternoon so she brought us back to the hotel and Joseph, Elizabeth, Blessing and I had the afternoon together. Spending the day with Joseph without Edith was an experience. We were able to order some mashed potatoes and baked beans for he and Blessing to eat and I had an opportunity to care for him, change his diaper, and feed him, which was a bit of a challenge. The physical therapist at Home of Hope had showed me the night before how to hold him in the most effective way for eating but it was still difficult. I was thinking a high chair at home will be a bit easier but we did it.

He was the happiest smiling-est, content little boy. We exchanged a million grins and there was one time, as I was feeding him, that he got the giggles. He was laughing so hard that he was squeaking. He made me laugh back. I'd brought a couple of small toys for him to look at, one that lit up and made sounds and he was very interested.

Elizabeth and I

Elizabeth and I talked about some of the things that she has been through with having a child with a disability in Africa. She brought gifts of shoes that she had made for the whole family and I had brought her some things from America as well. I know it was a huge sacrifice for her to make them for all of us. She'd asked for the sizes ahead of time and they were beautiful sandals.

Edith, Joseph, Richard

When it was almost diner time, Edith came and picked us up and we went back to Home of Hope for the final time to say goodbye. I got to meet Edith's husband Richard who I hadn't met before. He was a gentle, smiling man who I believe is very proud of his wife and helpful in the cause. I said good bye to the staff and to some of the children I was beginning to know by name. One little girl who was deaf, Harriett, was so sweet. I was able to sign for her a bit. There were two girls who were twins with autism who wanted their picture taken. When I showed them the picture on my camera, they laughed like it was the most hilarious joke ever.

Most of the children had eaten their dinner, and they brought me food for Joseph and I fed him for the last time and then it was time to put him to bed.

As I put him into bed the most extraordinary thing happened. Edith had been telling Joseph that I am going to be his mama. She says that the staff joke with Joseph, calling him, "American Boy" and they tell him to not forget them when he travels to America. Of course he can't comprehend this completely, but as I put him to bed, I smiled at him, and said, "bye bye" cheerfully. To my surprise, his lower lip came out and the corners of his mouth pointed down. He swallowed a few times and I could tell that he was trying to be brave and hold back tears. I exclaimed, "oh are you sad? I have to go, but I am going to come back. It will be a long time but I will come back." I prayed for him and then went out to see Edith.

Joseph's Bed

I exclaimed, "He understands! He knows what is going on and is sad that I am leaving!" I had no idea that he would understand and how smart he was. I had been thinking he was just enjoying the attention of a stranger and the toys and the hotel, but I didn't expect him to actually miss ME.

I couldn't resist peeking at him one more time and giving him one more love. As I said good bye again, the corners of his mouth went down and his lips quivered. I prayed for him again and then left, but as I was talking with Edith, we heard one of the children crying. When we went into his room, we discovered it was Joseph. He was arching his back and big sobs were coming out of his body. He was almost screaming. Oh my heart! I picked him up out of his bed and held him and he immediately calmed down. I know that he was most likely he was over tired from the long day of going places that he doesn't usually go. It was a lot of excitement for a little boy who rarely leaves Home of Hope. I knew that this was an extreme response but my heart sank and I felt physically ill leaving him.

I again said goodbye, telling him that I would be back and prayed for him and told him I loved him. This time instead of putting him into bed, I gave him to Olivia, one of the workers who had spent time with us that day. Instead of screaming he just cried softly and settled down quickly in her arms. I will never forget his face when the corners of his mouth turned down like that.

I went out to the lobby and cried a bit myself, and prayed for him some more. Edith told me later that Joseph almost never cries. It is very rare. She said that he must love me, because even when there are workers at the home that he doesn't like, he won't eat for them. My heart was heavy, but at the same time touched that he had attached to me in such a short time and it did something in my heart that wasn't there before.

You see that afternoon, as I played with him at the hotel and fed him, I was really struggling emotionally. I felt homesick and tired and a bit overwhelmed by the whole situation and what was ahead. I knew I was choosing Joseph and that I loved him, but it wasn't an instantaneous emotional bond. He was a little boy that I didn't really know. While I was caring for him and playing with him and doing my best to love him, it didn't feel deeply emotional and it felt like lots of work. I knew what we signed up for and I was ready for it, but at the same time I was struggling with doubt. In retrospect, I believe that God is real, but I also believe that the enemy of our souls is also real and he was trying to attack my thoughts and discourage me. I kept reminding myself of what God had spoken to us and all that He had done. I knew that this was His work and that Joseph was his gift to us. Joseph's name means God's gift / increase. I believed that in my heart but it was still a struggle to continue to believe the truth.

But that evening, that hesitancy and doubt went away. Seeing his little body racked with sobs and seeing that love that he has for me already did something in my heart. The nausea in my stomach at having to leave him was real and my heart was being drawn to this little boy. I knew that God was working, that He had good plans for us and he was moving me a very real way to love Joseph - not just by choice but fully in my soul and my emotions. It made me want to deal with whatever necessary to bring him home. I felt so badly for him, but at the same time, I knew that God was already bringing our hearts together and as we drove away I had a deep sense of gratefulness for what God was doing in my heart and what He was going to do in this journey.

I am praying for the right amount of attachment over the next year as we come to visit. I want him to feel loved, but at the same time I don't want him traumatized when I leave. I am praying for God to help his heart (and ours) during this waiting period.

We left Uganda with a plan in place after talking with Myriam and Edith. We want to help Mr. Opio see that we are "fit" to care for Joseph and this translates into with seeing him several times in the next year. Todd would go in March, then I would return in May with my cousin Rachel and stay with them, and then Todd and Maggie will go back in October again with Churchome. These visits will both teach us how to care for him, and also be good for documentation for our "fostering". As of that signed paper by Mr. Opio, we have temporal custody of Joseph to "foster" him by visiting him throughout the year and we are now his guardians.

I am excited for the opportunity to go again. Uganda, though there is a lot of poverty and the cities can be dirty and crowded, is a very beautiful country. With its lush countryside, rolling hills, palm trees and tropical greenery it reminds me quite a bit of Hawaii without the water. Maggie says she loves Uganda so much she wants to live there. I am grateful for this experience and excited to go back and see Home of Hope and Edith (who I am so proud of). But mostly I am excited to eventually bring Joseph home!

Our next visit to see Joseph came in the form of Todd traveling by himself in March. While he was there we received some surprising and exciting news....