Almost There!

Nov 21, 2109

As I write this Silas and I are on the plane on our way to Uganda to pick up Joseph. I have felt both excitement and anxiety as we have prepared, packed and paperworked in anticipation of this trip. But in keeping with the "p" theme I have truly felt peace as we look forward to the end of the adoption proceedings and the beginning of a new family life.

This past year Todd and I have definitely had some ups and down emotionally. We have both taken turns in wondering if this is really what God wants at times, and being excited and thankful that He has chosen us. When God first talked to me about adoption I felt like I was the one counting the cost and sobered and Todd was the one who was naturally emotionally excited and ready. Earlier this year, Todd was the one who had some hesitations, doubts and questions for God and it was his turn to count the cost while I felt certain and sure. Between the setbacks in the adoption, the travel and all the drama it entailed, we felt like we were on an emotional roller coaster.

What I am so thankful for now, is the peace that both Todd and I feel about what is ahead. God has brought us through hopes and doubts and questioning to a place of calm assurance that we are where He wants us to be and he is going to give us grace for what is ahead. Joseph is such a delightful person, with a huge smile, a clearly smart head and a body that needs medical care. We are excited about who he is, about his potential for learning and growing in health and education. We love his infectious laughter and we know that our love will only grow deeper. Our kids are so excited to know and love him too.

We are also happy about our family being complete. For the last 16 years or so I have been pregnant, nursing or expecting another, and then finally experiencing the process of adopting Joseph. Todd and I have been talking about how having our family complete is something that we are really looking forward to. Like a deep exhale at the end of a long uphill climb. We know that it isn't going to be all smooth sailing but we are looking forward to just "being" as a family. Just living instead of working toward something. I am thankful for our 7 kids including Nathan in heaven and am looking forward to just enjoying them for the few short years we have left before Maggie leaves the house. (When she's 30 right? I want to keep her as long as I can!)

Last Saturday we enjoyed the cumulation of months of planning and preparation for a fundraising dinner for Home of Hope. We have had several fundraisers over the past two and a half years, but because of what is ahead I felt like this one had so much significance and meaning for me. Todd and the other members of the board worked hard. Each one shared different aspects of Home of Hope, the work Edith has done, and the work for which each member of the board is responsible. When Todd shared about the difficulties that children with disabilities in Uganda experience and the hope that Home of Hope and God has brought to these children, along with the anticipation of bringing Joseph home, I don't think there was a dry eye in the room, including my own.

It felt like a beautiful mountaintop experience after 2 1/2 years of a lot of hard things. I know that like God promised Todd and I at our wedding, that there will be mountains and valleys in our journey ahead with Joseph. I know that there will be more hard things and more mountaintop experiences. We are at the end of a journey and the beginning of a new one and we know that God will be there and look forward to all He has for our family.

Just adding a little post-script. I didn't know there was such a thing as national adoption day until today. But guess what day it is? The day we arrived in Uganda to pick up Joseph. God continues to infuse Joseph story with meaning....

Vivien's Birthday Party!

Just posting a quick note to say that Vivien is turning 5! and you are invited to her birthday party this coming Sunday, September 8th - open house style from 3-6.  E-mail viviensbirthdaybash@gmail.com for an invite to be sent to you.  We'd love for you to enjoy pizza, a bouncy house for the kids and fellowship.

Private Grief, Public Joy and Authenticity

I started writing a Facebook post but it got too long and turned into a blog post in my head. This isn't an update and it has a more philosophical bent. I'm going to be a little vulnerable here and talk about some of the things that have been going on in my head and heart. 

We've been sharing a lot about the exciting parts of our adoption and all that God is doing. I know we've written about the good and positive experiences we've had. And all of those things are true and real. But don't want to oversimplify, glamorize or be inauthentic with my life. I want to be honest about both the good and the difficult. There has been a bit of sorrow too. When I came home from my last trip I had a couple of days of difficult, private grief. I was struggling with feeling hopeful about what the future held and feeling very low. We have had a great summer of doing fun things with my kids, enjoying family time and getting to travel. But I have had some grief and fear about what is coming. Not about Joseph himself. Not about who he is. I love Joseph. But about the changes that caring for him will bring.

The good news is that what I am going through is reminding me so much of some of the apprehensions I've had before Vivien was born. It's good news, because God has given us so much grace and joy and contentment with Vivien despite her special needs. The relationship we have with her is beautiful and a blessing and worth the inconveniences that sometimes come along with caring for her.

I am genuinely excited to being Joseph home. He is such a delightful person, his smile is infectious and I know and believe that we are not just going to bless him - he is going to bless us. I am also super excited about the potential he has for growth - both mentally and physically. While Vivien is much stronger than he is physically and can do more than he can, he is much more mentally sharp and I believe that because of this, there are things that he will be able to learn that Vivien will probably not be able to. It will be exciting to see what improvements can be made in his health and what he will be able to learn.

But because of these physical limitations, as I've written about before, there is some apprehension and even grief in my heart about how our life is going to change when Joseph comes. And it's been a struggle at times to emotionally prepare myself for how drastic this change will be for a time.

It is not that I am having doubts about our decision. I am absolutely confident this is God's plan. I am truly excited and believe that God is going to give us a joy filled beautiful life with Joseph. But I do know that after Vivien was born, the first year I basically had no life outside of trying to keep her small little self alive. My friendships were limited, my ministry work (outside of my family) was limited, my freedom to do just about anything was severely limited because of all of the needs she had.

After spending time with Joseph over these last couple of years, we are excited about who he is as a person and also the long term improvements that can be made in his health. At the same time, I know that the first year and possibly more will be filled with a huge learning curve for him and for us. At this point he is not even strong enough to turn his head from side to side when he is lying down. He can't even lift his head. He can't stand or walk, and we have seen that even sitting strapped in for periods of time is exhausting for him. Not only that, but we know that he will need more nourishment. Feeding him takes about 45 minutes by the time we get him set up, feed him, and clean him up afterwards. Because of his need to be fattened up, when we were with him, my cousin and I were feeding him every couple hours. Just feeding him could be a full time job. Not counting all of the doctor's appointments and therapy sessions we will need. This is on top of caring for the rest of my family like we normally do sounds theoretically impossible. Todd has even said that he can't think too long or hard about the logistics of caring for him because it is too overwhelming. We are going to have to trust God with our time and our other kids for how our life is going to look for a couple of years.

The doctor in Uganda that examined Joseph said that he will need a g-tube as soon as possible. This requires surgery and follow up care at home. We know he will need a special chair to sit in and a wheelchair and other devices and these things will take time to process because of appointments , insurance and approval.

We know that eventually we will have systems in place for feeding him and transporting him and all that that entails. We also know that like Vivien, we will be getting some home help from the state eventually but going through the process of applying and getting approval could take a long time.

Thinking through some of these things gave me a couple of days of real emotional grief after I got back from being with Joseph the last time. And then I had to fight guilt for even feeling that grief. Todd has walked through some of these feeling as well. Things are going well with our family life right now, and we are looking at a major change - both for the good and the difficult.

One of the stories in the Bible that keeps coming to my mind is Luke 21:1-4. Rich people were putting their pieces of money in the treasury at church and feeling pretty good about their gifts. Then a poor widow came and literally put in all that she had left to give to God. Jesus pointed this out to his disciples and said, It says, " for they all out of their surplus put into the offering; but she out of her poverty put in all that she had to live on.”

Many of you have heard Edith's story (the lady who runs the home where Joseph is coming from), but for those of you who haven't, when God called Edith to take into her home some children who had special needs, she had almost nothing to give. She was caring for her own child who had special needs along with another lady. They had no money, and limited time. Her family had rejected her because of her child with special needs (in Uganda they think they are cursed) and God said, "I want you to take in 5 children." She was recovering from an accident and her body was tired. She was busy taking care of her own child and yet God said - make time for these. If you know the rest of Edith's story, you will find that it is one of the most inspiring things ever and to see what God did in her life, in her family's life, her kids and husband's life and in the lives of many children with special needs

But in thinking about Joseph God gently reminded me that I am struggling with a change in lifestyle - in my time and freedoms. But that is all it is. I'm not giving everything. I am giving out of my surplus. We have supportive family, good insurance and medical coverage, help from the state, help at school and therapies. Not just help with time but financial help as well. Edith was like the widow giving her two coins; giving everything. I am like the rich person who has so much and is willing to help another. But I'm not giving up everything. I have my family, my home, my health and so much richness both relationally and financially in comparison. I am limiting some of my freedoms to love and serve Joseph. Edith gave so much. And Christ gave it all. Can I give my little bit? I am confessing right now my own inadequacy.

In addition to this I don't have a full on relationship with Joseph yet. I have seen him and cared for him for a few days at a time. My love for him is there and it is growing, just like it has done with all of my children as I have gotten to know them. With our bio children, it came through pregnancy and birth and it has grown. With Joseph my love is there and it is growing and will grow as we bring him home. But one of the things God has reminded me of is that right now I am looking at some of the difficulties of caring for him, without having the tangible present relationship with him that I will have when he is home. There is benefit and reward and fulfillment in relationship that I am not experiencing with him at this moment and all I can see is the difficulty at times.

I am reminded of a dear friend of mine who had a baby girl with Trisomy 18. She went through a year of one of the most difficult seasons I have heard of with a child with T-18. Vivien had a lot of complications, but not as many or as difficult as what she and her family experienced with her sweet little girl. She went a year with pain and grief and almost no sleep, with very little hope of her daughter surviving at times. There were so many complications and it was a year full of trauma and pain for their family. Her dear baby girl went to be with Jesus after 1 year, 1 month and 1 day. And yet, at her funeral service my friend said that she would much rather be there in the pain and difficulty and loss of sleep and all that she went through - than without her. It was so worth all of the heartache because she loved her little girl so much and would wish her back with her if she could. It was worth all of it because of her relationship with her. God reminded me in thinking of this, that my relationship with Joseph is going to bring joy and it will be worth it, despite the difficulties that may come in caring for him.

Again - Joseph as a person is not a burden. He is a blessing and I believe this. I believe that my relationship and my life will be benefited by him. But the work required to care for him is going to be difficult. God reminds us that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. It's still a burden but it will not overwhelm us.

God, in his kindness did not ask us to adopt Joseph until after we'd experienced life with Vivien. So I keep looking backward at all that we have been through with Vivien, and where we are now, and it gives me faith and trust for our future with Joseph. There will be differences I know - but God's faithfulness is still the same. 

This summer has been filled with fun trips and local excursions with my kids. Going to Paris with Maggie for 2 1/2 days on our way home from Uganda was one of the most special and meaningful things I've done in a long time. Getting to experience it with my girl was so much fun. Hiking, paddle boarding, swimming and spending time with friends and family has been something that we've truly gotten to enjoy this summer. When you see my Facebook feed filled with pictures of happy kids at the lake or the beach, you will understand why I am really wanting to squeeze all the enjoyment I can out of this summer. I'm a summer girl anyway, and I love "adventuring" as Iva calls it. Add to that the knowledge that in the fall when we bring Joseph home, life will change, then I am eager to enjoy all that I can while I can.

But know this. I believe, like Paul that I have learned and am in the process of learning contentment. God reminded me of a time, shortly after Vivien was born when I realized that I had not left the house for 10 days. I was doing nothing except pumping and feeding and laundry and home chores and things. I was also getting barely any sleep and working harder than I've ever worked in my life. This season of life went on for a long time. But I remember thinking to myself how surprised I was that I was so happy. It felt cozy to be with my kids, and in some ways, having no outside obligations or responsibilities because of what I had at home was kind of nice. Vivien was my sole focus, along with my kids and consumed everything I had at that season of my life. Considering my personality and who I am and how much I like activity and social things, this joy and contentment I felt was nothing short of a miracle. I knew that this was God and His grace in my life. It wasn't something I worked up on my own. I was genuinely enjoying myself. I was ok with how we were living life and even I found this surprising.

This is what I'm talking about. This is why I can trust God with Joseph. This is why though I had those few days of grief (with tears) in thinking about the future - I can still trust Him and know that He is going to give me grace and joy and even happiness if I never travel again, even if I can't stand up paddle board or hike with my kids next summer (or those following). In addition to this, I feel grateful for all the travel that I've been able to do in the past couple of years, and a beautiful summer that God has given me. I can take joy in that, and I can also look with hope and joy for what the future holds, because He can even give me emotional joy - not pasted on choice-joy but real joy - no matter what.

Life may not bring perfect circumstances. It may bring hard circumstances but there is energy, life, joy, and contentment that comes with living out God's calling that cannot be explained. 2 Cor 8:2 talks about people who had an "abundance of joy" at the same time as they had afflictions. It doesn't say they pasted a smile on their face and tried to have a good attitude. It says they actually had an abundance of joy. This is emotional and real. I have experienced it. I wrote about this joy before Vivien was born and I have experienced it after. And the joy of my relationship with Joseph is going to be a blessing to me - to all of us. Even if the circumstances surrounding caring for him are difficult - God has brought me through this before with actual emotional contentment and peace and happiness and he can do it again.

And this is my focus as we move ahead. I am going to enjoy my summer with the kids thoroughly. We have a couple more short trips planned and I am going to be thankful for the activities and fun things to do. I am truly grateful. So if you see my face book feed filling up with fun pictures with my kids, know that I am enjoying my summer and squeezing every bit of family adventuring time out of it that I can. At the same time, know that I am hopeful and trusting God for my kid who will be here soon! For my new son and our future life. For the actives we will do with him and the joy we will have in seeing him grow and learn along with his siblings.

And pray for us that God would continue to help us see the truth of His faithfulness and would continue to give us wisdom and love and hope for the future as we grow in our excitement and joy in bringing Joseph home.

Almost Done - Joseph is ours and 1 more trip!

It has been way too long since we update this blog. Here are a series of updates, written during the time that Molly was in Uganda last. We are getting closer and next time we go, we should be picking Joseph up! Vivien and the rest of the family are doing well and having a great summer!

July 8, 2019

As I write this post I am in Uganda with a quiet day before me and a little time on my hands to update the blog, which we have been remiss in doing. I will begin this post now, and hopefully finish it on the plane on the way home.

When we last left off, we’d heard that the verbal ruling on whether or not Joseph would be officially ours, was going to be April 23rd. We waited for the day to arrive somewhat anxiously, but trusting God for peace with whatever the answer was going to be, especially considering that the last we’d heard from our lawyer was that she wasn’t sure that it would be favorable.

On April 23rd we received this e-mail: "This is to inform you that our Fatuma went to Jinja High Court today in order to receive the verbal Ruling for the Merry Petition. The Judge however, postponed the date for the verbal ruling to the 28th day of May, 2019."

Foolish us. We were thinking that either way – at least we’d finally have an answer. But no. This adoption process reminds me of a junior high teenage girl. So dramatic! Myriam was frustrated and we probably could have been but by this time we are so used to a roller coaster when it comes to this adoption that we just sort of grieved it a little bit and then went on. As I read the e-mail thinking it was going to be our answer, I felt myself go all shaky, but afterwards, I just felt like God gave a lot of grace to just continue on and trust Him by quietly continuing to wait.

Our lawyer told us that she would try to visit the judge and request a sooner ruling which we were very thankful for, so we just resigned ourselves to more waiting. It felt never-ending. However On May 9th, I opened my e-mail in the morning to find a note from Myriam, our adoption agent, who received this from Patricia our lawyer: 

"This is to inform you that the verbal Ruling in respect of the Merry Family has been delivered today. The Merrys have been appointed the Adoptive Parents of TENDO JOSEPH!"

I hardly knew what to think or believe. It seemed so surreal and anti-climatc after over two years of this process, to begin my normal day and receive this e-mail and just go on with the day. I texted Todd right away. I felt so much relief and peace. I told the kids who squealed, screamed and laughed with delight. I wish in retrospect that I’d recorded their reaction because it was beautiful. It was hard to believe as I went through the rest of the day that it was real. As I went to bed that night, Todd kissed me and said, “Goodnight, mother of 6….” 

The next step was receiving the written ruling which would give us the ability to get the adoption certificate. It didn’t take as long as we expected and at the end of May we received word that I could come and apply for the adoption certificate. I started making plans to go and once again, it just felt stressful because we knew it would be good to go as quickly as possible and there are so many details to work out. But we jumped back – this time with relief - on the roller coaster again when we found out that I didn’t have to be there in person to apply for the certificate. Patricia was able to get someone else to file for this.

We did know however, that the next step after that, the passport, would be something that I would definitely have to file for in person. So on June 20th when we got word back that the adoption certificate was in hand, we began to make plans for me to fly out a couple weeks later. It was probably the most stressful to plan of any of the trips we’ve taken to Uganda because the week before I flew out, we were taking our annual trip to Seaside Oregon. We book our trip 13 months in advance and it is usually hard to book. The kids look forward to it all year. I needed to fly out the day after we got back because Myriam would be traveling at the end of July and we were wanting to apply for the passport in time for her to be there to receive it when she came. Packing for all the kids for Seaside (especially Viv with all her “accessories) is stressful by itself but also trying to pack for our trip, thinking of all the things I’d need in Uganda, some of which would have to go to Seaside with us as well.

Another thing to throw in the mix was that we decided to have Maggie come with me on this trip. God did kind of an interesting thing with us and threw in His own twist and change of plans. The plan has always been that when I pick up Joseph, I would bring Maggie, knowing that I would for sure need a second person. It would be nearly impossible to bring Joseph home alone.

Maggie in Katwe

But Todd’s mom had suggested that I take Silas instead of Maggie. Then another friend, who has always spoken into our lives said that she had been thinking and praying about telling me something an she felt like God was prompting her to suggest that we bring Silas. Initially, both Todd and I brushed it off, feeling like Maggie was a better fit but after thinking about it and praying both of us felt like God was leading us to consider having Silas come with me to pick up Joseph. We haven't made a final decision about this and Silas is still praying and thinking about it, but we decided to consider it for several reasons.

One of the reasons was that Maggie's trip to Uganda for the first time was so broadening and life changing and we wanted Silas to experience some of this too. We'd also been told by others who had adopted overseas, to be intentional about whoever we chose to come pick up Joseph because the bonding process begins right away. With Silas's desire for a brother we really want to foster this bonding and connection and thought that this would be a good opportunity for him. Maggie has met Joseph several times but Silas has been praying for a brother for so long and we have wanted him to make a good connection with Joseph. Another, more practical part was that, managing Joseph and carrying him is hard work. Couple that with flights, connections, baggage and all that comes with it, just his physical strength was a plus for Silas.

But in deciding to consider possibly having Silas come instead of Maggie to pick Joseph up, we knew that Maggie would be crushed. Maggie’s heart is in Uganda for sure. She loves the people, she missed my cousin and her kids and was so looking forward to the trip. We’d talked about stopping in Paris on the way over and she was looking forward to that too. In addition to this, because of the adoption, Todd had decided against going on the mission trip that he and Maggie have been to for the past couple of years and next year he is planning on taking Silas on the trip. So Maggie wouldn't be able to go back for a long time. 

So all things consider we made the decision to have her come with me on this trip and think about Silas coming on the next when we actually pick up Joseph. I have loved traveling with her. I feel so very thankful and we are going to stop at Paris on the way home as well, since the cost of tickets are the same whether I we go round trip to Uganda or stop on Paris and we'd been hoping to do this for sometime.

We are still in the process of praying with Silas about whether he will come or someone else, but we know God will make it clear when the time comes.

So Maggie is with me now and we are here in Uganda, ready to see Joseph tomorrow and apply for his passport. It is amazing to think that this process is almost over and next time we will be bringing him home.

We are thankful that the kids are doing well, Vivien is healthy and we are feeling probably more ready than we have, simply because we’ve had to wait so long and had more time to prepare.

July 12, 2019

Maggie and Elizabeth

This was quite a week. We arrived in Uganda after lots of hours of flying and making sure we were making all the right connections. We had a small layover in Kenya, where I got to visit my friend Elizabeth and her son Blessing.  After reaching Uganda We ended up having two full rest days, (we were only expecting part of one) because there was some confusion with the man who was arranging our passport meeting and he was thinking we were coming the next week.  He had made the appointment for Wednesday of the following week instead of this one. He was able to change it to Thursday morning but it meant that Edith would need to come with Joseph the night before. So she arrived Wednesday evening and Maggie and I had a couple of days of rest in which we tried to catch up on sleep. We’re still a bit jet-lagged 5 days later but we’re working on it.

Joseph in the crib in our room

When Edith arrived with her son Denis and Olivia, and put Joseph in my arms, he recognized me immediately. As I exclaimed over him and started kissing him he began giggling. Literally laughing with joy. It made me happy. It was clear he remembered us and was so happy to be with us. Edith and I fed him together which continues to be challenging for me. It takes quite a while, and there is usually food everywhere. When Silas and I bring him home on the plane ride that’s going to be a lot of work. However his smiles are so beautiful and we know that God is going to take care of everything and give us grace to care for him as he needs.

We had had a crib put in our room so he slept with Maggie and I that night and happily fell asleep fairly easily. He is on medications that help him relax. We know when he gets to America there is going to be some trial and error in figuring out what his body will need.

We woke early an got him fed and ready and went to the passport office to apply. Maggie stayed back and it went very smoothly. Much more than I expected but Jessy and the lawyers had arranged everything. I felt very nervous but there was no need to be.

At the Passport Office - Outside under a tent

Edith and her son and Olivia took Joseph back home and I met with the lawyers and Jessy to strategize the next steps for the I-600 and the visa application. Myriam will be here in a week or so and will take care of that process but she had tried to get an appointment and hadn’t received one. They all agreed that I should visit the embassy and after some discussion on whether or not I should try to make an appointment or just go.  Jessy said I should just show up because more gets done when a person is there.

The visit to the embassy also made me nervous because though Jessy brought me there, I had to go in myself alone and they took away my phone and purse. I waited in a room with others and talked with a girl who was going to a Bible college here. She was from South Carolina and had come here an fallen in love with the country and has been here for two years. It put me a little more at ease.

My interview went well and woman I talked to assured me that they would e-mail with an appointment. Sure enough as soon as I got home I got an e-mail from Myriam telling me that she had received the appointment. Jessy was right.

Sweet Brenda

This meant that I could leave the following day for Isaac and Rachel’s in Iganga without having to wait and do any other paperwork. In the evening Maggie and I visited Brenda, who we have sponsored for the past few years. Todd and Maggie have visited before and she has no parents and truly considers us her family. She didn’t know that we were coming and when she saw us she exclaimed with joy. She is super affectionate we loved spending time with her. The last time we were there we had given her a little money and she had used some of it to buy these sweet plaques for Maggie and I that said, “Sis” and “Mum” with beautiful words on them. We visited the boarding school that she attends and it was in some ways, a difficult experience. I know that she is cared for physically and she studies hard and has friends there, but the difference between schools in America and schools here make my heart hurt. The abject poverty is evident, and yet they are grateful and work hard. My heart went out to her and she was so thankful that we got to visit

And even as I ride in the back an air conditioned van through the streets of Kampala, working on a journal from my laptop, where people are riding on “boda bodas” 3 or more to a seat, some walking, some in crowded hot buses, children playing barefoot in the dirty streets, I feel both grateful and guilty at the same time. I know the truth is that even if we gave all that we had (as the woman in the Bible who gave her two coins) we couldn’t help all the poor in Uganda. But we can do what God has called us to do and trust Him as he leads and guides, and I can pray that he will help my heart give, more, love more, be more selfless and willing to obey Him and truly love.

Now we are on our way to visit my cousins Rachel and Isaac and see Joseph and Home of hope this weekend.

July 15, 2019

We arrived Friday at Rachel and Isaac’s after a very long drive and got settled in. It was fun to see my cute little cousins. Maggie was especially excited. It was also good to see how much has been done on the building of their lovely house. They still have more to go but they are making progress.

Saturday we left early. Edith’s son Denis picked us up. Rachel's home is quite a ways from Jinja, but definitely closer than Kampala. Joseph once again, was so excited to see us, and as the put him in my arms, he started grinning and giggling. We toured Home of Hope and got to see how much was accomplished on the second floor of the new building, which will be used to house volunteer workers when they come. They also had a new kitchen that is almost ready to be used and a great improvement on the last one

Children at Home of Hope

On the roof of the newer
building that still needs funds.

.

Edith had just finished some wonderful community outreach where they educate people about children with disabilities and educate parents on how to care for their children. We also filmed some videos for Todd to use on the website for Home of Hope in the US. Then we took Joseph for the afternoon to this pretty little place that Isaac and Rachel knew about called the Nile Nest. It was overlooking the Nile, with steps down to the broad beautiful river. It actually reminded me, again of Hawaii with lots of space, grass and palm trees and tropical flowers. Joseph was so happy and we fed him until he was full 3 times. Denis was helpful in making sure we didn’t give him too much but he was excited to have yogurt and juice, which he doesn’t usually get.

Once again, it made me so excited for how he can be helped when we get him home. Edith is doing her best but with 60 children to care for, there will be things that can be done for him in America that are just not possible in Uganda. We are excited to see improvements.

The Nile River

At the Nile Nest, Maggie and I went down and touched the Nile. (She was scared of crocodiles the whole time). Our food took a while to be delivered but we had snacks and Isaac picked mangoes for us that were totally delicious. We took Joseph back in the late afternoon and I got a note from Jessy saying that he has picked up the passport and Patricia our lawyer has it ready for when Myriam comes next week. 

Sweet Irene

Sunday we went to church and it was so great to be with believers on the other side of the world. The one speaking that morning was also a doctor who is on staff for Rachel and Isaac at the clinic and he spoke on Lazarus and waiting on God. He got some laughs when he said that in the story, Jesus was on Ugandan time and it wasn’t the timing that Mary and Martha wanted. He said we sometimes want God to be on our time, not Ugandan time. It was a good reminder of our long wait for Joseph and trusting God’s timing. I met a lady named Irene that I connected well with and enjoyed.

Sunday at Church with the Speaker

We bought our meat for the evening meal and then came home, got packed up and then in the evening finally got to visit the hospital – the Hope and Healing Center that Rachel and Isaac are building. The first building is completed and they have already been seeing patients. In fact, this week they were doing a community outreach and will be seeing their thousandth case this week.

Hope and Healing Center

Maggie and I left early in the morning the next day. There were some definite tears coming from my sweet passenger in the car thinking of leaving Joseph, her cousins and her beloved Uganda, knowing that it will be at least a couple of years most likely before she sees it again. God was so kind to give us a good-bye distraction in the form of a gorgeous Ugandan sunrise on our way to the airport. I had our driver pull over and climbed a small hill to capture the moment and was rewarded with some beautiful photographs.  We left for a wonderful couple of days in Paris which was super special not only because it was Paris - but also because of getting to be with Maggie.  We felt very grateful

Paris

Ugandan Sunrise

The next step Myriam from the adoption agency has completed.  She has applied for his visa and immigration and we should be able to pick him up in the next few weeks to three or four months, depending on how long everything takes. A little bit more waiting but it is amazing to think that the next time we will be picking up Joseph! 

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Court Hearing and Quick Trip - by Todd

Todd and our Boy

3/27/19

These past few weeks we have suddenly seen progress with the adoption of Joseph. After the unfortunate death of our lawyer last fall, things definitely were slowed.  For the longest time, things appeared to have stagnated. Three hours after returning home from a surprise anniversary getaway which we were so grateful for, we got a call from our adoption agent stating that our hearing would be in Jinja, Uganda within 2 days. We were quite stunned by this, but had already been prepared by Myriam, our adoption agent that we might be given a phone call with a very short lead time. We just didn’t expect it to be this short. Myriam knew we could not be in country that quickly, (the flight time can take two days) but explained that our Ugandan lawyer would represent us in court and they would go ahead and bring Joseph and the witnesses. We could then coordinate a day the following week when one of us could meet the judge in person.

When the hearing was complete, we were told that the judge was very favorable of our case and sympathetic with Joseph’s condition, but wanted to meet me (Todd) in person. This was a bit of a surprise, as we expected Molly to be the one to go (since Ugandans usually see the mother as the primary care-giver). However, since my name was first on the petition, she wanted to meet with me.

Thanks to the help of a great travel agent, we were able to get tickets within the needed time frame. But before leaving, we were able to attend the Refresh conference – an amazing weekend conference for foster and adoptive parents. During these three days, we heard some raw stories of challenge and redemption. We loved the fact that people were brutally honest with their lives. There were also classes on parenting which applied to both biological and adopted children. On our last night there, we walked out with people praying over us, cheering us on (as they do for all the attendants). The time was – well, refreshing.

As mentioned above, we both had expected Molly to be the one to travel for the hearing. I had to juggle my schedule a bit to make it work. Over the course of the past few months, I have had more of the “how are we going to make this work?” questions that come to mind. Having five children, one with disabilities requires a lot of effort. Now, as we look to taking in Joseph, those questions filled my head all the more. 

Edith and Todd in front of the new building many of you
contributed to!

This would be my fourth trip to Uganda and, aside from the travel, he I really do love the friends I have made. The people are warm, generous and really do value relationships. Along with this, because of the abject poverty, you see a whole different side of life. It can be hard for someone with a Western mindset to adequately capture the daily struggles the Ugandans go through (as well as many in other African countries).

This disparity between the cultures is all the more pronounced when you consider raising a child with special needs. Because of poor public health, many mothers have traumatic births, leading to many of the disabilities seen at Home of Hope (cerebral palsy, hydrocephalus, etc). Most of the children at Home of Hope have been abandoned, as in the case of Joseph. Once a baby is recognized as not being healthy, he is quickly seen as much more of a burden than any other child. In a world, where you must struggle to survive, a child with disabilities is not just a threat to your lifestyle, but a threat to your survival. This is one of the reasons why Edith’s story is so powerful in the formation of Home of Hope. This reality doesn’t make their choice to give up their baby excusable, but it does give some explanation.

While we know our lives will be significantly changed when Joseph comes to live with us, we also feel God has called us to this point in the journey. Yes, this is a sacrifice of our lifestyle (not our survival, as it is for many Ugandans), and in reality a very small compromise compared to many around the world who choose to follow Jesus.

Molly’s Update on 4/4

Todd, Patricia the lawyer, Edith and the Judge

Todd got to meet with the judge and spend a little time with Joseph at home of hope. Through it was a quick trip, he was able to connect with Joseph as well as film some videos that he is looking forward to sharing later about Home of Hope. His hearing with the judge was initially positive but after we got home our lawyer Patricia informed us that she wasn’t so sure that the outcome was going to be favorable. We had been feeling very positive and this news was a surprise – but just about everything that has happened throughout this process has been a surprise with so many unknowns.

At this point we have been told that the judge will give an oral ruling on April 23 and a written ruling soon after that. If it is favorable, Joseph will officially be ours, and we will be able to move forward with obtaining a passport, starting the immigration papers and are hopeful to have him home this summer. If not, we are trying to hold everything with an open hand and trust that God will lead  when the time comes.

We both have felt with the length of time this has taken and with the many visits back and forth that God has been reminding us that He is in control and that this is not something we need to push. We need to trust Him to do His work and accept whatever outcome He brings. In the last few months we have been trying to be open handed with our future as well as Joseph’s and are putting it into His hands. 

The Mubezi Family

Even though Todd's visit was quick, he was able to stay with my cousins and see some of the progress with the new hospital and their home as well.

Thanks for continuing to pray with us and support us!